Christmas At Cedarwood Lodge. Rebecca Raisin
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smile but inside I was jumping for joy. “Why not meet for a date and see what happens?” Micah had valid reasons for being wary about plunging into love again, but I couldn’t see what was holding Isla back. Shyness, and what else?
“I doubt Micah even knows I’m alive! When we talk it’s like this halting, awkward mess.”
“Nerves, perhaps? On both your parts…” It wasn’t my place to tell her how Micah felt but I was sorely tempted, and had to allude to it. Surely she could read the signs?
“Do you think he feels the same?”
I nodded. Whoops. What else could I do? Time was running out. Isla would leave soon unless something was done. “I think you’re both struggling with the same feelings and how to act on them.”
Her blush deepened. “Well, that throws up a whole new set of problems. Unrequited love was torment enough, but that is infinitely worse.”
“Why?” I asked, confused.
“I worry…” Her face pinched. “…That Micah will see the real me, and it’ll all be over and I’ll have to leave Cedarwood early because it’ll hurt too much to stay.”
“What do you mean, the real you? Unless you’re some kind of knife-wielding maniac in secret…?” I gave her a half-smile.
She laughed. “I can wield the secateurs fairly well, so unless you’re a hedge you’re safe. But it’s more than that.”
“OK… like I said, whatever you tell me stays in this room.”
When she gazed up at me, my heart seized. She wore a look of abject grief, like she was one step away from dissolving into tears. What could make her so unhappy? I moved to embrace her. “Seriously, Isla, talk to me. It can’t be that bad…”
After a deep, shuddery breath she said, “A few years ago I was visiting my parents’ farm for the weekend. It’d been almost a year since I’d seen them. That night their house caught fire. We still don’t know how it started, maybe faulty wiring, something shorted out. It spread so quickly, and it destroyed the house, and all of their farming equipment.”
“Oh, Isla, that must have been terrifying. Were they OK?”
She nodded. “They got out just in time. But I went back in for the dog, Roxie. I couldn’t let her suffer like that, knowing she was trapped and inhaling all that toxic smoke. I raced around the back and into the kitchen where she usually slept, and found her whimpering. As I went to pick her up a beam fell, blocking my path. Roxie scampered over it and out the door, but I got stuck, the smoke distorting my vision. The kitchen collapsed all at once, and I knew I had to clamber through the flames or I’d perish in there. It was the most terrifying thing ever, and I could hear my mom screaming my name. So I just reacted, and ran through the fire. I was burned down my body.”
I let the story float, absorbing it all. “Isla, what a shocking thing to go through. I can only imagine how frightening it was for you and your family, but why would sharing that with Micah matter?”
“The burns.” She swallowed hard. “I’ve never given the scarring much thought because I was so damn grateful to be alive. But now I wonder, how they’ll feel under his touch, how they’ll look… and I just want to retreat. What if it repulses him? Or the thought of it puts him off?”
I hadn’t even thought of the scars. I’d only thought of her near-miss and how terrifying it must’ve been for her. “Oh, Isla. What a thing to worry about. Micah’s…” I groped for something that wouldn’t sound like platitudes, something that would convince her to take a chance. “If you knew him as well as I do, you’d know it would be a non-issue for him.” I paused. “Unless it’s upsetting for you, and then he’d be concerned. Out of all the men in the world, Micah would be the one to make you feel beautiful, because you are beautiful, and those scars, no matter how much you dislike them, are part of your story. They’re part of who you are, and how you got to this point, and I’m sure Micah would say the same. It’s a big ask, me telling you to trust in him, but I think you should.”
Her eyes were glassy with tears. “You really think so, Clio?”
“I really do. You can hide away for ever, but what good would that do you? Why not risk it and see, and I bet you’ll be surprised.” I could only guess Micah would run his fingertips along them, and ask Isla about that night, and make her feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. When he fell in love he was lost to it, and scars or not, their romance would blossom if only they could move on from their pasts. They were utterly perfect for one another and I sent a prayer up to the universe to make it happen for my two friends.
“I guess I’ve built it up into this huge issue and I can’t see past it. It’s like I don’t know who I am any more. I always have this instinct to run, so I never get close to anyone. I don’t know, it’s just easier that way.”
“I can understand that, Isla. What you’ve been through is pretty huge. Have you thought about putting roots down? See what happens when you stay for a while? We’d love to have you full-time at Cedarwood. No pressure, but you’ll always have a place here if you need it. What’s the worst that can happen?”
Hope danced in her eyes. “Really? You want me to stay?’
“Of course! But there’s plenty of time for you to decide. You do what’s right for you.”
“Thanks, Clio. Gosh, it’s good to have another girl to talk to. I miss that.”
“I do too. So let’s make it a regular thing.” I gave her arm a squeeze. Isla needed a friend – it was as obvious as the freckles dotting her nose – and I was more than happy to be that person. And I was glad she’d shared her secret with me. I’d tread gently with my two lovesick friends.
With two short weeks until the party, the lodge facelift was at full speed ahead. Kai and I had spent the better part of the day setting up the sound system in the ballroom, before working around the electricians who were fiddling with wires after the downlights had shorted, then blinked before going dead. In the end I gave up. “Kai, we’re in their way, let’s leave them to it?”
He nodded, and gave the guys a wave, before following me outside. “Let’s head up the mountain,” he said.
My eyebrows shot up. “We’ve lugged boxes all morning, and untangled five million cables, and you want to trudge up a huge mountain? You’re crazy.”
“I won’t have much longer to do it. Come on, humor me,” Kai said.
“OK,” I said reluctantly. Despite my protests, a bit of space from the lodge was just what we both needed. We’d been working since sun up and hadn’t stopped for lunch or an afternoon coffee break. “Where do you come from, Kai? Which part of Australia?” It struck me I could now walk and talk simultaneously up the mountain without my lungs burning.
He jogged up ahead, then spun to face me. “I’m from Bondi, a beachside city, which is always full of tourists. The faces always change with the seasons, but I’m betting that doesn’t happen here.”
“Why’d you leave?” My calf muscles began to protest as the climb steepened.
With hands on hips, he considered the question. “The coastline is beautiful, and Australian beaches are the best. Bright white sand, and the whole surf culture… But it wasn’t enough. I figured I’d pack up and see a bit of the world. Maybe I’d stumble on something that made sense to me. I’ve always felt like there was something more for me than surfing all morning and fixing up other people’s homes in the afternoon.”
“Have you found that mysterious something?”
He laughed. “I’m still searching.”
“And what do you think it is? Money? Waves? Lifestyle?”