The Wish. Alex Brown
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‘Chrissie, please, it’s just going to be a few more months …’
‘I’m sorry, Sam, but I can’t take any more of this. As far as I’m concerned our marriage is over. Holly and I have been at the bottom of your priority list for too long and I’ve had enough.’
Since then, they’d communicated only via email. Sam had called and tried to talk to Chrissie on several occasions, but she had refused to speak to him. He couldn’t quite work out when the reality of it had hit home, but he thought it struck him hardest when a Facebook memory popped up on his timeline and he was confronted with the awful, stark reality that he hadn’t actually seen his daughter for almost a year. The picture had glared out at him accusingly. He, Chrissie and Holly, on top of the Sentosa Sky Tower in Singapore, with Holly pulling faces for her numerous selfies. He’d clicked through some more. He and Holly, their faces contorted in wild excitement on the Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure ride at Universal Studios, while Chrissie had a look of controlled terror. Then his beautiful daughter cuddling a baby elephant on a magical trip to an elephant sanctuary in nearby Malaysia. Sam had welled up with emotion on seeing Holly so absolutely enchanted – the look of pure joy in her eyes was too much to bear; he missed her and blamed himself for shattering her happiness, so had then gone out and got very, very drunk. The next morning, hungover but with more resolve than he had felt in ages, he had called the CEO of the company he worked for and handed in his notice.
The situation he was now in had unsettled him like nothing ever had before, prompting him to put the feelers out for a job closer to home. The truth was impossible to ignore. He and Chrissie had been drifting apart for a while, long before he ever went away to Singapore.
Sam had been working hard for years to build his reputation as an architect. He was never the cleverest at school, but he’d been a grafter – it had taken him three years of evening classes, and working all day as a labourer on a building site, to get the exams he had needed before eventually being able to pursue his dream of training to be an architect. Then, frequently working late into the night to qualify had paid off, and he had got a job in a large practice. Since then he’d steadily worked his way up over the years.
Ever since he was a boy, he’d loved building stuff, designing it from scratch and seeing it materialise, magnificent and strong, much like his marriage before the cracks set in. His father Rob had bought him his first Meccano set when he was still in short trousers, and the two of them would spend hours over it. Sam had thought that he and Chrissie were as tightly bolted together as his Meccano constructions, but last year, despite the smiles on Facebook, their Singapore trip had only highlighted the fractures that were becoming apparent …
*
‘Wow! This place is awesome!’ Holly had bounced down backwards on the king-sized bed in her dad’s Singapore apartment, pushing her legs and arms out wide into a star shape. ‘This bed is like a giant marshmallow! It’s so soft and squishy.’
‘Hey. Don’t get too comfortable, your bedroom is down the hall,’ Sam had laughed, going to scoop her up into a big bear hug.
‘But that’s not fair! How come the grown-ups get all the best bits for themselves?’
‘Well, you won’t be saying that when you see your bedroom. Let me show you.’ Sam’s apartment was on the twenty-fourth floor of one of the most iconic developments in the city, and the view from each room was stunning. Holly’s room had an inbuilt entertainment centre, which included Apple TV and a karaoke machine, her own en-suite shower room and a mini-fridge, well stocked with chilled water and sugar-free drinks on account of Molly being diabetic. Delighted, Holly had instantly whipped out her phone to ensure she captured every detail for her Instagram account, taking the time to select the perfect filters, before then telling him she needed to give herself an insulin injection.
‘Oh, right, of course. Want me to do anything?’ he’d offered.
Holly shook her head matter-of-factly. ‘Nope.’
‘OK, I’ll be outside with Mum.’ He leaned over and gave her a kiss on her head, as she pulled what she needed from her needle case. ‘Love you, darling.’
‘Love you too, Dad. This holiday is going to be so amazing!’
While Holly slept off her jetlag, Sam and Chrissie had reacquainted themselves with each other in the master bedroom. It had felt so good to have her in his arms again – they’d always been really into each other, and for Sam their lovemaking felt like the monsoon after a drought. They dozed lightly afterwards and Sam wrapped himself around his wife, burying his nose in her soft blonde hair, drawing in the familiar scent of her strawberry shampoo. Uncharacteristically, she had seemed a bit detached. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something wasn’t quite right.
‘Hey,’ he said gently. ‘What’s up?’
‘Nothing …’ She’d hesitated for a split second before answering.
‘You sure?’ He could tell when something was on her mind.
A beat of silence followed.
‘It’s just …’ she stalled. ‘This place … I wasn’t expecting anything like it. It’s incredible. I’m not surprised you haven’t come home.’
‘What do you mean?’ Sam asked, leaning up on one elbow. ‘This place is great, but that’s not the reason I haven’t …’
He stopped talking as Chrissie turned around to look up at him, her blue eyes scanning his face as if searching for the right words. ‘You’ve been here for three months and this is the first time we’ve seen you since you left. When we talked about you taking this job, you promised that you’d be home every six weeks. That’s what we agreed.’
‘I know, love, but things have been difficult to get off the ground. There’s been a lot of bureaucracy and trouble with getting the right contractors. We’ve been working around the clock to get everything up and running, there’s been lots of schmoozing and lobbying … and then there’s the time difference to factor in.’
‘While Holly and I sit at home watching TV and sharing a cake from Kitty’s Spotted Pig café in the village, wondering when you’re going to come home?’
‘But Chris, you know I’m doing it for us. A few more jobs like this could set us up for life.’ He moved his hand from her back and brought it round to the front, where it cupped her breast and his thumb played lightly with her nipple. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. ‘Come on, let’s get rude again.’
Chrissie grinned, but took his hand with her own and moved it back to where it had come from.
‘Seriously Sam, promise me things won’t stay like this. Every job you’ve had over the last few years has taken you further away. First it was Frankfurt for six months, then Dubai for the best part of a year, but you came home far more often then. And now you are here in Singapore and we’re still back home in Tindledale, missing you like mad. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to stay away from us.’
‘How could you even think that?’ Sam shook his head.
Chrissie raised her eyes at him.
‘OK, I see what you are saying, but we’ve always known my work would take me away.’
‘You know, it’s been much harder since Holly’s diabetes diagnosis.’
‘Everything’s all right though, isn’t it?’ Sam checked right away.
‘Yes, as far as it can be, but it’s changed things. You feel further away and I feel less