The Right Reason To Marry. Christine Rimmer
Читать онлайн книгу.
“The answer is none of them, right—not until me?”
Now he looked worried. “Why do I feel like anything I say right now is going to be wrong?”
“Oh, please. No. You are not wrong. This is not your fault—it’s not my fault, either, though. Or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself. But I also can’t help asking myself, why does the condom fail only for me? Why couldn’t I have sense enough to get back on the pill—or better yet, get a contraceptive implant? But every time you and I got together, I really thought it would be the last time. What was the point, I asked myself? I wouldn’t be having sex with anyone again anytime soon. But then I would get a free evening and I would remember how you said to give you a call anytime—I mean, think about it. Four times, we got together.”
That first time had been last December, at Christmastime. Then there’d been once in January, once in February and that last time in March. The first time, she’d promised herself it would be the only time. The second time, too. And that was the one where the condom must have failed.
After that, it hadn’t mattered anyway, whether she got herself an implant or not.
“Four times together,” she muttered, “and this happens.” She looked down and shook her head at her protruding belly. “What is the matter with me, to do that to you?”
“Uh, Karin, I—”
“No, really. You don’t have to answer that. It’s not a question that even needs an answer. And I swear I was going to tell you about the baby that last time, in March. I saw that last night as my chance to let you know what was happening...” She ran out of breath. But he only kept on staring.
So she sucked in another breath and babbled on. “When I called you that night in March, I swear it was my plan to tell you. But then, well, you kissed me and I kissed you back and I thought how much I wanted you and how long it was likely to be before I ever had sex with a man again. I thought, one more time, you know? I thought, what can it hurt?”
Still, he said nothing.
She couldn’t bear the awful silence, so she kept right on talking. “I promised myself I would tell you afterward, but then afterward came, and the words? They wouldn’t come and then I started thinking that you didn’t need to know for months. Liam, I messed up, okay? I messed up and then I didn’t reach out and the longer I didn’t, the harder it got. And now, well...” She lifted her arms out the sides. “Here we are.”
He just continued to look at her through disbelieving eyes. For a really long time. She longed to open her mouth again and fill the silence with the desperate sound of her own voice. But she’d already jabbered out that endless and completely unhelpful explanation of essentially nothing. Really, what more was there to add to all the ways she’d screwed up?
He broke the silence. “I have to leave now.”
She felt equal parts relieved—and desolate. “Okay.”
“But I will be back.”
“Of course.”
“We’ll talk more.”
What was she supposed to say to that? “Sure. Whenever you’re ready.”
“Okay. Soon.” And then he was striding away from her for the fourth time.
She watched as he vanished into the stairwell and didn’t move so much as a muscle until she heard his car start up outside and drive away. After that, for several grim seconds, she thought she might cry, just bawl her eyes out because she felt so terrible about everything and she’d done such a crap job of telling poor Liam he had a baby on the way.
The tears never came, though. Eventually, she turned around and stared blindly out at the ocean for a while.
By the time she remembered her raspberry leaf tea, it was cold.
Liam got halfway to the gorgeous house he’d built for himself in nearby Astoria before he realized that he needed to talk to his oldest brother Daniel.
Years ago, when their parents died, Daniel, eighteen at the time, essentially took over as the head of the Bravo family. He became a second father to all of them. Daniel was only four years older than Liam. Didn’t matter. When Liam needed fatherly advice, he usually sought out his oldest brother.
He called Daniel’s cell from the car.
“Where are you?” Liam demanded when Daniel picked up.
“Hi to you, too. I’m at the office.” Daniel ran the family business, Valentine Logging. “What do you need?”
“Long story. I’ll be there in ten.”
“Good enough.”
Valentine Logging had its headquarters on the Warrenton docks between Valentine Bay and Astoria. Liam parked in front of the hangar-like building that housed the offices.
Daniel was waiting. He ushered Liam into his private office, shut the door and gestured toward the sitting area on one side of the room. “You look like hell. What’s going on?”
“I need to talk.” Liam sank to the leather sofa. “You know Karin Killigan?”
“Of course.” Daniel dropped into the club chair.
“Karin and me, we had a thing last winter.”
Daniel frowned. “Wait a minute—Karin’s pregnant, right?”
“Yeah. How did you know?” Did everyone know but him?
“Keely told me.” Keely was Daniel’s wife.
“How did Keely know?”
“She hung out a little with Karin at Madison and Sten’s wedding. According to Keely, Karin was noticeably pregnant then—but you missed the wedding, right?”
“Right.” He’d felt bad to miss it, but he’d had a work conflict in Portland, one he couldn’t put off or get out of.
Liam owned Bravo Trucking, which he’d built up from a few rigs that hauled strictly for Valentine Logging into a fleet with over two hundred trucks and two hundred fifty employees. His original terminal was nearby, right there in Warrenton. Last year, he’d opened one in Portland, too.
Daniel was leaning forward again. “Are you saying the baby is yours?”
“Yeah.” The word scraped his throat as he said it. “Karin says she’s been trying for months to work up the nerve to tell me. I probably still wouldn’t know if I hadn’t seen her coming out of Safeway a couple of hours ago.” And he had that feeling again, like if he sat still, he might just lose his mind. So he jumped up, paced to the door and then paced back again.
Daniel said, “You never mentioned you were dating Karin.”
“Dating?” He stopped by Daniel’s chair. “I wouldn’t call it dating. It was only a few times, whenever she could get away. She wanted it kept just between the two of us. I agreed it would be the way she wanted it and I never told anyone else that we were hooking up.”
“Liam,” Daniel said quietly. “Sit back down. Come on, man. It’s all going to work out.”
He dropped to the couch again. “I guess I’m kind of in shock.”
Daniel got up. “Scotch or water?”
Liam braced his elbows on his spread knees and put his head in his hands. “Neither. Both.” Dropping his hands from his face, he flopped back against the cushions and stared up at the ceiling.
Daniel asked, “Didn’t you and Karin date in high school?”
“Briefly.” Liam