Broken Resolutions. Оливия Гейтс
Читать онлайн книгу.
‘My ex-boyfriend.’
‘The drug addict.’ Jake hadn’t meant to sound cruel, but the fact was he wasn’t in the mood to be magnanimous. A stab of jealousy had sliced through his insides at Caitlin’s reference to the man she’d previously been in a relationship with.
Suddenly rising to her feet, she let her fingers toy restlessly with the little pearl buttons on her blouse. The gesture inevitably drew his gaze.
‘Amongst other things he was a painter and decorator by trade. Not that he was in work very often…For obvious reasons.’ Her expression was briefly pained. ‘But, like you said, just because he was an addict, it didn’t mean he was a bad person. He was easily led by some unsavoury friends, that was the trouble.’
Caitlin dipped her head and Jake found himself automatically taking a step towards her.
‘So, you were “unreasonable” because you tried to warn him off those so-called friends?’
‘Yes… That and because I didn’t give him money as often as he liked to buy his drugs. I was struggling to keep the roof over our heads as it was. I had a lovely flat that I’d bought with a legacy my grandmother had left me and I was eventually forced to sell it because of Sean. He was in so much debt due to his drug habit.’
‘And where is he now?’ he asked. A million miles away, he hoped. Outer Mongolia wouldn’t be far enough.
‘When we broke up he said he was going to London. His brother lives there and he was going to stay with him to try and straighten himself out. I hope for his sake he was able to. But, that said, I’m just so glad he’s out of my life. Being with him had me fearing for my sanity. I hardly knew who I was any more. Sometimes I can’t believe what a fool I was to trust him and believe that he would change. One thing’s for sure…I’ll never give my trust so easily to a man again.’
Her emerald eyes glistened briefly and Jake swallowed hard. He hated the idea that she wasted even a second of her time thinking about her ex and what he had put her through.
‘Anyway, I don’t know why I’m standing here telling you all this,’ she finished.
‘I asked you to. What about your family? Were they supportive when they found out what was going on?’
‘My parents and my brother are in America. He moved out there first and they followed. They’ve started up a business out there. Anyway…’
With a shrug Caitlin briefly met his eyes and then looked quickly away again.
‘I didn’t want them to worry about me so I didn’t tell them. I made my bed and I had to lie in it. They gave me the chance of going with them when they left but I opted not to take it. Besides, they always taught me it was important to stand on my own two feet, and I wasn’t going to go running to them the moment I was in trouble. I wanted to prove to myself and to them that I could turn my life around and be proud of myself.’
‘Whilst that’s commendable, I thought families were supposed to help each other out when one of them was in trouble?’
‘Do yours? Help you when you’re in trouble I mean?’
Jake hadn’t expected her to turn the question on him. For a dizzying moment he found himself awash in a sea of feelings that he usually tried to submerge…feelings of pain, confusion and a sickening sense of being abandoned by life.
His mouth drying, he answered, ‘No… They don’t. They can’t. I don’t know who they are. I was raised in a children’s home.’
Caitlin’s bewitching green eyes immediately softened. ‘Oh, Jake…I’m so sorry.’
The suggestion of concerned sympathy in her voice was like a gun pointed straight at his heart. He immediately sought to deflect it.
‘Don’t be. I learned very quickly not to depend on anyone else for either my happiness or my wellbeing. I survived the experience—that’s all you need to know. That’s all anyone needs to know.’
Twisting her hands together, she took a few moments before commenting, ‘You’ve done more than just survive, Jake. You’ve made an amazing success of your life.’
‘Is that how it looks to you?’ The question was painfully ironic.
‘Anyway, regarding my own family, we’re…let’s just say we respect our differences. They have their life and I have mine.’
‘You mean you haven’t told them that you’ve joined the band?’
‘I will tell them…eventually. But, just not right now.’
Jake shrugged. ‘It’s your call.’
‘You said that you learned not to depend on anyone else to make you happy. What about romantic relationships, Jake? Have you had maybe one or two that haven’t worked out?’
‘Who hasn’t?’
A reticent smile suggested that discussing his own experiences was the last thing he wanted to do. It wasn’t hard to understand why he should feel that way. Nobody welcomed talking about the things that had hurt them. Yet Caitlin couldn’t help wanting to know more. Despite her vow never to easily trust another man, the idea of perhaps trusting Jake was strangely compelling. After all, he knew what it was like to have been badly hurt by someone and wouldn’t knowingly inflict similar hurt on someone else…would he?
Drawing in a deep breath for courage, she asked the question she’d been longing to hear the answer to since talking to Lia.
‘My friend Lia—the manager of the shop where I worked—she told me that she once read in the papers that you’d been married.’
As Caitlin had expected, Jake’s guard slammed down like a portcullis. ‘Then why ask if I’ve had any relationships that haven’t worked out? It must be obvious that my marriage didn’t, if your friend read about it.’
He let loose an irritated sigh, but Caitlin detected weariness in the sound, as if he was well and truly sick of the subject.
‘Presumably she also told you that my wife left me and then sold a sordid little tale to the press?’
She flushed, feeling uncomfortably guilty. ‘Yes…she did.’
‘Then that should tell you it was hardly a match made in heaven. My ex was a manipulative little liar…what else do you want to know?’
‘Please don’t be so defensive. I was hoping you might tell me your side of the story. I never read any details myself. To be honest, I didn’t even recognise you when we first met. I don’t often read the newspapers, and neither do I use social media very much. I honestly won’t breathe a word of this conversation to anyone…not even to my friend.’
‘I take it I have your word on that?’ Jake’s blue eyes were momentarily fierce.
With her heart thudding, Caitlin nodded. ‘Of course.’
‘Her name was Jodie and she was a model who wanted to become a pop singer. I had no idea of her ambition at the time. Anyway, we met at a party and had a few dates. She was pretty and engaging enough to capture my attention, and on a weekend break to Rome I foolishly asked her to marry me.’
He shook his head in mocking disbelief.
‘Practically as soon as we were married she started to put pressure on me to help her get a record deal…all the while telling me I was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she was madly in love with me, of course. You’d think I would have known better.’
He gave a harsh self-deprecating laugh before continuing.
‘She couldn’t sing, and when she realised I wasn’t going to help further her career she started an affair with Mel Justice—the lead guitarist of the bestselling rock band on the planet. I was travelling in South America