Modern Romance June 2019 Books 5-8. Andie Brock
Читать онлайн книгу.
On his skin she smelled earth and fire, metal and rain. She embraced him and pulled him deeper into the well of herself. He growled and tipped up her chin and licked at her neck, said things she didn’t understand, but knew in her soul to be true.
The friction burned intimate places, the impact was nearly unbearable in its intensity, but she couldn’t get enough, couldn’t touch enough of him, hold him tight enough. She made her own wordless noises, primitive and feline, clenching in ecstasy while his strength held her in place for that relentless, thrilling pleasure. It was exquisite and agonizing and she wanted it to go on forever.
But she couldn’t subsist in this state of tension and acute sensations. She was going to suffocate or break or her heart would explode.
And then it did. Her entire world contracted to a fine dark point, then burst. She was flame and gold and joy. Naked and pure and new.
* * *
As the most powerful release of his life receded, and Luli’s sobs of culmination settled to soft, ragged breaths, an incredible sense of peace fell over him.
Gabriel somehow managed to withdraw and discard the condom, then pulled her across him, damp and sweet-smelling as the sheets beneath them. She made a contented noise and her lips touched his chest before she sighed and relaxed into a doze. He was aware of warmth and the pressure of her against him, the tickle of her hair against his naked arm, the weight of her thigh on his and an encroaching sense of regret.
His sifu would berate him for losing focus and letting his discipline lapse, for allowing his ego and bodily hungers to rule him. He was guilty of all those things. He’d been desperate to feast upon her. He had wanted the smug satisfaction in knowing he had initiated her to these pleasures and had done it well.
It had come at a cost. The walls he kept so impermeable around himself were weakening. The first knock had come when she had locked him out of his own software. Sections of mortar between the bricks had disintegrated under the tears she had shed against his chest that night in Paris. The winds of Africa had eroded those bricks further, as her joy at the beauty of the earth and earthly pleasures had reminded him that this world was more than greed and users and privilege.
Now she had rocked his foundation with such power he could feel the fissures extending through him.
Because she had wanted to know what it would feel like if someone loved her.
He worked his fingers into her thick hair and turned his mouth to press a kiss into the fragrant mass, wanting to shelter her even as he wanted to ravish her again.
For this privilege, he would give her almost anything.
Except his heart.
He hoped like hell it would be enough.
* * *
Luli lingered over her morning routine, feeling shy. Gabriel had woken her a few hours before dawn with kisses and caresses that had had her reaching for his turgid shape, so fascinating with velvety skin over hot iron. She had gloried in knowing how to touch him in a way he liked. They had fondled and kissed until she was burning and molten.
Then he’d slid sweetly into her and stayed there, rocking lazily.
Each time she climaxed he asked, More?
And she had greedily said, Yes.
The fourth time he had shattered with her.
She was sore, but not sorry. She felt languid and pleased and filled with mysterious knowledge.
She suspected she was in love.
It was such a new emotion, she had to pause and examine it, try to understand how its rough edges fit inside her and why it felt heavier than the ring he’d given her.
Most of all, she tried to understand how love was something she had wanted all her life and now, as she glimpsed it, it wasn’t something that nestled into her and made her feel safe. It wasn’t a state of being, like contentment. It was something to be given away. It was an active emotion, flowing outward, striving to reach the man who had sparked it, wherever he was at this moment.
She wanted him to love her, but strangely, even more than that, she wanted him to let her love him. She wanted him to welcome this overwhelming spill of feeling she wanted to pour over him.
She had tried that once, though. Her mother hadn’t had a use for her heart. She’d put it on a plane to Singapore and never asked for it back.
A wrenching pain went through her as she thought of Gabriel rejecting her love. Given his childhood, she understood his reservations. It made her want to throw herself further into the fire with him. Somehow heal his pain.
But she also understood that she had to be strong. She couldn’t be the girl who had become a pawn because she was afraid to be on her own. She could love him, but she couldn’t be a slave to that love.
Drawing a shaky breath to bolster herself, she went down to breakfast in her robe.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d still be here,” she murmured, joining him at the table. It was almost ten.
“Why is Marco making you a lunch appointment with that professor from last night?” He glanced up from his tablet, took in her light makeup and the hair she’d pulled into a clip. His gaze lingered on her mouth until her lips tingled.
Then he seemed to gather himself behind an invisible wall. He looked into her eyes, seeking an answer to his question.
“Pardon? Oh, um, he wants to talk to me about modeling opportunities. I said he should get in touch with my assistant. I didn’t think he was serious. Do you mind?”
“No.” He spoke abruptly, sounded like he minded. “Don’t rush into anything, though. He might know people, but he might just want to be seen with you. Make sure he knows you don’t need the money and you’re doing him a favor by showing up.”
So cynical. She bit back a sigh.
“Then I should let him buy my lunch because I don’t actually have money?”
“You have a credit card and a generous allowance. If you want to carry cash, send Marco to the bank to withdraw some.”
She shook her head as she drew her napkin onto her lap. “I crossed out the allowance on the contract and put a question mark beside it. I expected we would discuss it, but we got married and here we are.”
“I wrote it back in with an extra zero. Pay attention to what you sign. This lunch is a bad idea if you won’t even do that much.”
“Gabriel, you know that makes me uncomfortable! I don’t want things—” She cut herself off as she turned over her coffee cup and discovered the diamond earrings on the saucer.
All their intimacy came back in a rush. Her uninhibited clinging to him, begging for more. She had offered him her soul last night and he was giving her...crushed carbon.
Because he thought that was all he was worth? All he had to give?
Her mouth felt wobbly as she picked up one platinum shank. The diamond caught the sunlight and winked rainbow sparks.
“I said only if you want me to have them.” The words scraped like sandpaper in the back of her throat. She had wanted to know what it felt like to be loved and instead she felt cheated.
“I do.” Something in his guarded tone put a sharp vice around her heart.
This was a warning, she instinctively recognized. He would give her diamonds and limitless credit cards, but nothing more. That was the deal.
Meanwhile, she had given him her passion, her virginity, and wanted to give him so much more.
He hadn’t said she couldn’t, she realized.
“I’ll accept them,” she decided, swallowing the lump in her throat. Her voice stayed husky. “Do you