Getting Dirty. Rachael Stewart
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open as I reach for the buzzer beside the entrance—the single, solitary buzzer. Christ, does he own the whole lot? And then he’s there, filling the opening, and I’m gaping like a fucking fool.
‘Coco?’
His surprised expression all but does me in. He’s even more handsome than I remember, his jaw still unshaven, his eyes just as piercing beneath his dark angled brow, all rugged, rough and—
His brow quirks.
Fucking get with it, Coco.
I straighten, my hands tight over the strap of my bag as I cling to it for solidarity when my legs want to give way.
‘Hi,’ I say—like this is totally expected, like I haven’t just stalked the bejesus out of him. ‘I thought we could do dinner…if you’re free?’
I struggle to hold his eyes. He’s doing it again: reading me and all my fucked-up mental chaos. I lower my gaze but stand firm. He’s wearing a deep blue shirt and dark denim jeans. Very smart. And as I breathe in, I get the welcoming scent of freshly applied cologne. He looks and smells date-worthy.
Oh, Christ, was I asking him on a date?
My eyes flick back to his and I see my double take reflected back at me.
‘How did you find me?’
Not quite the response I was hoping for…
‘Jackson gave me your address.’
Fire sizzles beneath my cheeks. Please, God, let my make-up do its job and stop me from looking crimson. I’m blonde, I’m freckly, I go red at the drop of a hat.
‘It’s not like I tailed you or anything. I’m not some stalker.’
I swear his skin pales. Shit. He thinks I am some stalker.
‘Jackson thought you could do with me swinging by.’
‘Jackson should mind his own bloody business.’
He scans the street, clearly on edge, and I feel the situation rapidly running away from me.
‘Look, it’s okay if you’re busy.’
‘I am.’
‘Going somewhere nice?’ I try for a smile and gesture to his outfit. He has the same number of buttons undone at the collar, the same hint of hair…
‘You shouldn’t be here, Coco.’
I realise I’m staring. Right at his chest. My palms are tickling with reignited memories. I pull my gaze back to his face and swallow past the desire-shaped wedge taking up camp in my throat. I hear his words, register their negativity, but there’s also his tone, and the pulse working like crazy in his jaw…
Is he really freaked out by me turning up? Or is he fighting the same forceful attraction?
Please let it be the latter.
‘No, you’re probably right…’ I take a breath and give him another smile, wanting to test the water. ‘But I can’t get our last meeting out of my head.’
His mouth tightens, his throat bobs. He says nothing, but his eyes tell me he’s reliving it too and I push on, my confidence returning. ‘I thought maybe we could…you know…see each other again?’
‘See each other?’
It rasps out, but his tough-guy exterior is at odds with the widening of his eyes. The rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights look makes him seem boyish and I give a soft laugh.
‘Don’t worry, Ash. I’m not asking you for a relationship…or even a real date…’ Although the truth was I’d take the date. ‘Only sex.’
I straighten on the last word, my chin jutting just a little, like I’m trying to convince him as well as myself.
‘You mean more distraction?’
‘Yes, if that’s what you want to call it.’
‘It’s what you called it.’
‘I did.’ I step closer and he tenses, backing away. ‘I’m not about to go all clingy on you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m not like that.’
‘That’s not what I’m worried about.’ He shakes his head. ‘You shouldn’t be here,’ he says again.
‘No? Where should I be, then?’
His eyes move over me, hesitant, probing. ‘Seeing a counsellor, a professional—someone who can help you deal with what you’re going through.’
I laugh. I can’t help it. Is he for real? ‘I don’t need a therapist.’
‘I didn’t say you did. I’m just telling you I understand.’
He says it like he knows it. Like he’s lived it with me. And confusion, a sudden surge of sadness, has my temper sparking. ‘How can you possibly understand? I came to hook up with you again, not to be lectured. But of course you won’t get that, will you? Since I’m just a spoilt little rich girl?’
‘No, Coco, that’s not… You’re not…’ He rakes his fingers over the back of his head, turning away in frustration, tension thrumming off him in waves. ‘You just shouldn’t be here.’
‘Why?’
He stares back at me, the nerve in his jaw pulsing. He looks like he wants to say so much and yet nothing is coming.
‘Ash, what—’
‘You need to go.’ He raises his palm to me and avoids my eye.
‘Are you going to tell me the other night wasn’t fun?’ I’m going to make him acknowledge this, if nothing else. ‘Because I thought it was.’
His eyes flicker in my direction, that nerve in his jaw ever more pronounced.
‘I particularly loved the feel of you in my mouth.’
He sucks in a breath and damn if his cheeks don’t heat. The sight has my belly tripping out and the telltale warmth is quick to spread, killing off the sadness, the confusion, the anger. He’s like my on-and-off switch and I’m not ready to give up on him.
‘Coco, don’t do this.’
‘What?’ I say in mock innocence. I let my eyes drift over him, wetting my lips. ‘Or did you prefer sinking your fingers into me?’
‘Coco.’
He’s so tense, and I’m getting off on it now. Goading him, pushing him where I want him.
‘I’m not the man you think I am; you can’t play those games with me.’
‘Games?’ My smile is seductive, calm, the perfect front. ‘Who’s playing games? I’m being a straight shooter and telling you exactly what I want.’
His breath shudders out. ‘Go home, Coco. Before we do something we both regret.’
‘Regret?’ I frown. ‘How can we possibly have regrets? We’re just two strangers hooking up. What’s wrong with that?’
‘Everything’s wrong with it.’
‘Am I missing something? Do you have a girlfriend—or a wife?’
He’s shaking his head at me but I feel like I’m missing something huge and I can’t begin to imagine what.
‘Is that your car?’
His sudden change in tack has my frown deepening and I follow his gaze to where Derek waits for me.
‘Yes.’
‘Come on. I’ll walk you.’