Heart Of Courage. Sue MacKay
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Basic but the best I could find in that small grocery shop down the road from the base. I didn’t want to waste time going into town. You might’ve changed your mind about coming out with me before I got back.’
‘Once the idea of a swim was lodged in my mind nothing would’ve stopped me coming.’
‘My fatal charm had nothing to do with it, then?’ He grinned at her like he couldn’t care less what she thought.
Grinning back, she said, ‘Nope.’ This easy banter between them was good, and fun, and helped her relax a little bit more. Wrapping her towel around her, she tucked it under her breasts and ignored the steady gaze Cooper directed at her. Ignored the urgent need cranking up in the pit of her belly, tightening muscles that hadn’t had a workout for more than seven months. Sinking down onto the blanket, she stretched her legs out, leaned back on her elbows to look upward and tried to ignore how he was gazing at the baby bump with something like dread in his expression.
‘It will all work out, Cooper.’
‘You think?’ Thankfully he shrugged into a shirt.
‘I hope,’ she said with a rueful smile, missing the view but hoping her internal heat would cool now.
‘You have doubts?’
‘Who doesn’t at this stage?’ He didn’t need to know what hers were. He’d probably hightail it out of the country without a backward glance. Despite common sense and the self-preservation she usually relied on, she wanted to spend time with him.
Cooper threw her a curveball. ‘What does it feel like to be carrying a baby?’
Where to start? ‘Awkward. Cumbersome. Wonderful. Exciting. Frightening.’ Ouch. Why tell him that? He’d have a multitude of questions, along with doubts about her ability to be a good mother.
Cooper parked his butt beside her and reached for one of her hands, wrapped it in his larger one, making her feel delicate. ‘Tell me about frightening.’
Her heart lurched. She shouldn’t have said that word but he had an uncanny knack of making her say things she never intended to. If only she had the strength to pull her hand free and forget the yearning his touch evoked. ‘Oh, you know. Am I going to be a good mother? How will I handle the birth? All the usual things expectant mothers apparently think about.’
‘Why wouldn’t you be a great mum?’ His thumb stroked the back of her hand.
This was the problem with knowing nothing about each other. She had to expose herself, her vulnerabilities as well as her needs and concerns. But not all of them, or with any depth. ‘I didn’t have great role models growing up.’
‘That could be a benefit. You’ll be determined to do better, not make whatever mistakes your parents made with you.’ He sounded so sure of himself, so at ease with it all. And so right.
Which annoyed her. ‘Easy to say if you’ve had the perfect upbringing.’
‘Does that even happen?’ he growled, and moved to put space between them, leaving her hand cold. Delving into the bag, he passed her some crisps. ‘Here.’
Seemed like she’d touched a taboo subject. He’d wanted to know about her life, so he should be prepared to reciprocate with details about his. They’d come out for some time together and she didn’t want to spoil it with an argument. Her annoyance backed off too easily as she munched on a handful of crisps. It wasn’t often she got off base for some fun. Fun with a man she’d never quite got over, and knew would always hold a special place in her heart for giving her a child.
While devouring bulging triangles of focaccia and chicken, they talked about things that had nothing to do with the baby—army life, their medical careers, travel. For the first time since that blue line had appeared on the stick Sophie felt completely at ease and was just thinking she could do this every day for the rest of her time in Darwin when Cooper blew the evening apart.
‘Sophie.’ His voice was husky and thick. ‘I’ve been thinking. Let’s get married. I can support you if you want to be a full-time mum. That way I’d always be a part of our daughter’s life and you wouldn’t have to take all the responsibility. What do you think?’
‘MARRY YOU?’ BUT... ‘I can’t.’ But... Sophie spluttered water over her front. They didn’t know each other. There was certainly no love between them. But...
Cooper looked startled. ‘Can’t? You’re not already married?’
Sophie shoved awkwardly to her feet as hurt lanced her. ‘How dare you? You think I’d have had sex with you if I was married? Even in the circumstances you believe I’d be unfaithful? Thanks a million, buster.’ She was shouting and couldn’t care less that people on the other side of the grove were staring. Cooper had handed her the biggest insult he could find. Then her stomach tightened, sending pains shooting in all directions. ‘Ah.’ She wrapped her arms around her belly and held her breath. This hurt, big time.
‘You okay?’ Cooper had risen to his feet too. ‘Sophie, talk to me.’
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Another Braxton Hicks contraction. Fingers crossed. She wasn’t ready for the real deal. Way too soon. The pain in her belly softened, backed off. But not the hurt Cooper had inflicted. She snapped her head up and glared at him. ‘No, I’m not okay.’
‘Easy.’
‘That’s all you ever say when things get heated. Easy. I’m telling you I am not going easy on you. Not after that bombshell you just delivered.’
‘Which one?’ His hands gripped his hips. Under his T-shirt his chest was rising and falling rapidly, like he’d run a marathon. But his gaze softened as it settled on her belly.
He was seriously disrupting all her carefully laid plans. No wonder she hadn’t wanted him in on the pregnancy until after the birth. ‘Both.’
‘Tell me why we can’t...’ he flicked fingers in the air ‘...get married. It makes a lot of sense. We’re having a child and she deserves a family to grow up in.’
‘She’ll have one. Mummy in one house, Daddy in another.’ That sounded awful, but not as awful as Mummy and Daddy screaming that they hated each other and their daughter was the only reason they lived under the same roof. ‘That’s the way it’s going to be. No argument.’ Her lungs expelled air so fast her head spun.
Go away, Cooper.
‘I don’t get any say in this?’ Cooper’s voice was deceptively calm; that chest still moving too quickly being the giveaway to his real emotions.
Shaking her head at him, she said, ‘About getting married, no.’
Why did that tug at her heart? Going solo wasn’t how she’d ever envisioned raising a child, but that didn’t mean she’d grab the first offer that came along. Sexy hunk making the offer or not. Sex in hard boots or not. Which made it difficult not to give in to Cooper when he turned those winning smiles on her. She fell for them every time, but so far, thank goodness, she hadn’t made any major mistakes since he’d turned up on her patch yesterday.
‘So we agree to live in the same city at least?’ He ground out the question.
‘We haven’t agreed to anything yet,’ she snapped back. Where had the usual calm, happy Sophie gone? ‘I’m going home to Auckland. You say you might be stopping there, or you might be going back overseas with the army. Where would you want me living if you choose to do that, huh? I’m not following you around military bases.’ As if.
Calm down, girl. This is not the way to solve the differences between us.
What was the right way? Seemed they got on just fine if they kept off the subject of their child, but the moment anything to do with her and her future arose they were at