Snowkissed. Jessica Gilmore
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there were consequences to actions.
‘That’s fab, Ethan. Maybe they can help each other. I hope they’ll all come back in September. Once they let their guard down they were all so full of potential—I mean, did you see them after surfing? They had a blast.’
So had he. All the teenagers had been stoked to be in the water and he’d watched them—some of them carbon copies of himself and Rafael. Tough...so tough...and always out to prove it. Because if they didn’t there was the fear of being taken down. All swagger, all bravado—but up against the waves, up against the spray and the sea salt, they had met an element stronger than themselves that they could challenge with impunity. And they’d loved it. Enough, he hoped, to incentivise them to keep out of trouble until September.
A soft sigh escaped her lips. ‘I wish... I wish I could help. Take them all in and house the lot of them.’ She placed her empty plate down with a thunk. ‘Maybe one day I will. No—not maybe. Definitely.’
‘How are you going to do that?’
Her chin tilted. ‘I’m going to adopt,’ she said. ‘That’s my single parenthood plan.’
Maybe it shouldn’t surprise him—after all, Ruby had been in care and he understood why she would want to help children like the child she had been. Hey, he wanted to do that. But adoption by herself...
Her eyes narrowed. ‘You don’t think it’s a good plan?’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘Then what? You think I can’t hack it?’
‘I didn’t say that either.’
‘Then say something. What do you think?’
‘I think it’s a very, very big thing to take on.’ He raised a hand. ‘I’m not saying you couldn’t do it. I think you would be a fantastic person for any kid to have in their lives.’ And he meant that—he’d seen the way she’d interacted with all the kids, seen her capacity for care and love. ‘But taking on older children... It’s a huge commitment—especially on your own.’
‘I know that.’
There was no uncertainty in her voice and he couldn’t help but wonder at the depth of her need to do this even as he admired her confidence in herself. The idea of anybody—let alone a child...let alone a child who had already been through the system—being dependent on him for their well-being made his veins freeze over. To those kids Ruby would be their salvation, and he knew that saving wasn’t part of his make-up.
But concern still niggled. ‘You said you’d decided on single parenthood because you can’t pick good father material. Don’t you think you should rethink that strategy?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean why not open yourself up to the idea of a relationship? Find a man who will support you emotionally and be a great father to your family. You’re too young to give up on having love and a family.’
‘You have,’ she pointed out.
‘That’s because I don’t want love or a family. You can’t give up on something you’ve never wanted in the first place. You do want love—you’d never have been sucked in by Hugh or those other two losers otherwise.’
‘See?’ Tucking her legs beneath her, she jabbed her finger at him. ‘That’s exactly it. Three out of three losers. That’s a one hundred per cent miss rate. I can’t risk what is most important to me—having a family—by taking a side quest for love. Plus, if I pick wrong it could have a terrible effect on any children. I need to stay focused on my ultimate goal. I thought you of all people would get that. You want Caversham world domination and I want children. I won’t be sidelined by anything else.’
Well, what could he say to that?
‘I can see the “but” written all over your face, Ethan. I know it will be tough but it will be incredibly worthwhile.’ The finality in her tone suggested that any argument would be futile. ‘Like these past two days have been.’
‘Two days is one thing. A lifetime is another.’
He pressed his lips together. Ruby was right—she had her goal and he had his, and hers was none of his business. What did he know? It was not as if he thought love was a good idea, so why push Ruby towards it? He didn’t want the bright light of hope to be extinguished from those eyes by some idiot. But that wasn’t his problem or his decision to make—it was Ruby’s. So...
‘You’re right I think the past two days were a success—and a lot of that is thanks to you. The tree, the gifts, the food...and the karaoke carols were superb. You did a great job.’
Relief touched her face at the change of subject and he wondered if she regretted telling him of her plans.
‘So did you. Thanks muchly. And thanks for letting me be part of it.’ A glance at her watch and she straightened up in the chair. ‘Right. I’ll start the clear-up procedure and then I’ll be on my way. Leave you to your Christmas plans.’
Her voice was a smidge too breezy, and her eyes flicked away from his as she rose to her feet.
‘Don’t worry about clearing up,’ he said as he stood, his eyes fixed on her expression. ‘You’ve already spent so much time and effort on this—I want you to start your break as soon as possible.’
Deliberately casual, he stepped towards her.
‘Where did you say you were going, again?’
‘Um...’ For a heartbeat she twisted her finger into a stray curl, then met his gaze with cool aplomb. ‘I didn’t.’ As she moved towards the door she gave him a small smile. ‘Any more than you shared your plans.’
Her pace increased to escape speed and instantly he moved to bar her path.
‘That’s easily remedied. My plan is to stay here.’
Surprise skittered across her face. ‘Alone?’
‘Yup. My original plan was to host the teens over Christmas—when that changed I didn’t bother making different plans for Christmas Day. It’s just another day, after all. But I know you don’t agree with that. So what are your plans, Ruby?’
Her eyes narrowed slightly as she realised she’d walked straight into that. ‘I... Look, why does it matter to you?’
‘Because you have worked so hard, and made such a difference to those teenagers—I don’t want to think that doing that has ruined your plans.’
‘Oh. It hasn’t. Truly.’ A gust escaped her lips as he raised his eyebrows. ‘You aren’t going to let up, are you? Look, I haven’t got any specific plans. I never did.’
A slight look of surprise tilted her features.
‘It’s odd, actually. My original plan was to shut myself away with some weepie movies and a vat of ice cream. But now I don’t want to do that. In fact if I wanted to I could go out and paint the town red. Since your press release lots of people who had dropped me like the proverbial hot root vegetable are now keen to be my friend again. Or I could probably even rustle up an invite from a real friend. But I don’t really want to do any of that either. So I think I’ll just head home and use the time to relax. Read a book. Watch some sappy Christmas movies.’
Ever so slowly she started to edge around him for the door.
‘Not so fast.’ The idea flashed into his mind like a lightning bolt, zigzagged around and sparked a mad impulse. ‘I have a better idea.’
‘What?’
‘Let’s go away for Christmas.’
‘Who? You and me?’ Incredulity widened her eyes—clearly the idea was risible.
‘Yup. We’ve worked incredibly hard and we deserve a break. You