The Platinum Collection: A Convenient Proposal. Maisey Yates
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And she felt too self-conscious to do it. Even more ridiculous.
Still, she found herself running her tongue along the surface of her lower lip, then her upper lip. He shifted his thumb higher, and something wicked overtook her, something that she would not have ever said lurked inside of her, not even at her deepest, most hidden depths. But apparently, it did. She stuck her tongue out again, letting the edge of it touch his thumb, the sharp tang of salt from his skin a force that rocked her body.
Their eyes clashed and held. “Do you know what you are inviting?”
She nodded slowly. “I think I do.”
She raised her hand to touch his face, and he caught it, pulling it back down to her side. “You can’t be asking for sex, darling. Because you have not given me what I require.”
Her breath caught. Of course. That little leather wristband that would signify her freely given choice. That would have to be given to him in a thinking moment, not a feeling moment. That would drastically cool the heat between them, giving her time to reconsider. And he knew that, which was why he had done it. She chose to see clearly now and without ulterior motive. Just now she was opting to look at it at face value.
“We have to stay for another hour.” They could not leave any earlier than that—it was impossible. “The leather cuff is in my purse, which is in the cloakroom. I’m going to give it to you on our way out.” Her words were rushed, and she could barely believe she had spoken them even after they had left her mouth. Could hardly believe that she was committing to this.
But why not? Why not? Nothing she had ever done so far had been able to atone for the sins of her past. She had been good; she had been the best daughter she could possibly be. She had not caused any trouble, had dated no one but a prince in the ensuing years since her one very bad decision. And what had it got her? Nothing. At least, nothing for her. But here she was now on the cusp of her redemption, knowing that the return of London Diva would restore her to the proper place in her family. And knowing for sure that nothing else would.
She had let one man destroy her feelings about her body, her sex, her feelings. Had let him ruin her relationship with her father.
Then she had hidden every part of herself she’d decided was wrong and had sought to prove to her father that she had moved past her youthful mistakes, had sought to prove to herself that she was smarter, stronger.
But in the end her father didn’t care about that. He didn’t care whether or not she got the business back by striking a business deal, or by trading her body. He would never have cared if she had married a prince, or merchant. He would never forgive her, not really. He would never see her the way that he once had.
That was all very clear to her now.
No one cared but her. Everyone had moved on but her.
And with that strange feeling of sadness and freedom roaring through her, she knew her decision had been made. There was no future with Dmitri. But she was okay with that. She didn’t need a future with him; she just needed a future for herself. One that wasn’t for her father, one that wasn’t in response to Nathan.
She would start tonight. With this decision. With this step forward. Reclaiming something that she would have had long ago if she hadn’t allowed her mistake to define her.
“Be very certain,” he said.
“Do I strike you as someone who doesn’t know her mind, Dmitri?” she asked, raising a brow and keeping her tone arch.
“No.”
“I thought not.”
“And now we only have to wait an hour.”
Her stomach constricted, but it wasn’t nerves having their way with her right now. No, it was excitement. Lust. Lust that she was finally, for the first time, embracing.
“Yes,” she said, “an hour.”
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