Risking It All.... Yvonne Lindsay
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to be afraid. What about your church? You said your family is religious. Didn’t you meet anyone there?”
“Not anyone I was interested in.”
“So you’re also picky.” He stroked a tendril of hair off her cheek.
“Shouldn’t I be? What’s the point of pretending you like someone when you don’t?”
“None whatsoever.” He grinned. “I guess that means you like me.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” she teased. Why was he so easy to talk to? “But apparently I am attracted to you.”
“And I’m attracted to you.” His gentle kiss made her lips tingle. “There’s some serious chemistry between us.”
There was. It snapped in the air and sensitized her skin where their bodies touched. Pheromones. Mysterious substances that science barely understood, which coaxed humans into situations any sane person would avoid. Like lying cheek to cheek with the man whose business you were investigating.
“It’s a shame chemistry doesn’t last and that after a while you have to actually be compatible and get along.” She wanted to let him know she didn’t expect this crazy fling to go anywhere. Or maybe she just wanted to reject him before he could reject her.
“You have to start somewhere.” He kissed her again. She wished he’d stop doing that! It stirred all kinds of sensations deep in her belly. Sensations that made her wish he were inside her again. What kind of woman had he turned her into? “How do you know we’re not perfectly compatible?”
“Us? That’s funny.” She didn’t want him to think his words had any effect on her, but they did. They were both good with numbers. Both hardworking and determined. She would have once said that he was a notorious playboy and she was the exact opposite, but her current position here in his arms proved that she wasn’t so entirely different from him when the opportunity for romance presented itself.
Romance? Where had that word come from? There wasn’t anything terribly romantic about their relationship so far. Romance was flirtation and candlelit dinners and hopeful conversations. They’d gone straight from zero to sixty with very little preamble.
She’d better not let herself start thinking that this was a romance, or she was likely to end up with a broken heart.
“I don’t think it’s so funny at all. My grandparents are very different and they’ve been together for almost fifty years. He was wild and considered himself a beatnik. He wrote terrible poetry and played the trumpet, and he was getting ready to run away to New York and become a jazz musician when he met my grandmother while delivering milk to a local depot. She’d just moved here with her family from Minnesota and had never dated or kissed a boy in her life. She was training to become a schoolteacher and spent her evenings reading and knitting. He charmed her and she tamed him and they’ve been together ever since.”
“Oh.” A dangerous charmer and a good girl. Sounded familiar.
“He was very good-looking. She always said that she never stood a chance against him.”
“Have they been happy?” She was genuinely curious. People always talked about those opposites-attract relationships, but she didn’t know how often they really worked out.
“Very. They’ve had their ups and downs, of course. My mom—the one who gave birth to me—was even wilder than my grandfather when he was young, and it ended up killing her. Her death put a strain on their relationship, as a child’s death often does. My grandmother blamed my grandfather for not being stricter with her, and he blamed her for not being more accepting. He felt that if my mom had still lived at home maybe she wouldn’t have gone out drinking and driving on the night she died.”
“If things were different, maybe you wouldn’t have been born.” She stroked the wrinkle that had formed between his brows. “So much of life depends on chance.”
She’d never had that thought before. She was a planner, and unapologetic about it. She’d had her whole life mapped out from about age eleven: she’d intended to meet and marry a nice, appropriate spouse during college, then work for several years to build their finances and buy a house before they started a family. She’d planned her career in accounting and made sure to keep abreast of all developments in the field so she’d always have in-demand skills. When her marriage plans had derailed, she’d continued full speed ahead with the other elements of her life blueprint, assuming that everything would slot into place eventually, even if not on her anticipated schedule. She hadn’t spent a single moment thinking about the rather scary mechanics of chance.
“You’re right. All the hard work in the world won’t get you anywhere without at least a dash of luck, too. I can’t tell you how many times the fate of this casino, even the whole tribe, rested on a decision made by strangers who didn’t have any real stake in the outcome. There were certainly enough people hoping that it wouldn’t happen. And plenty that would like to shut us down right now.”
“Do you think that’s what they would do if I found that you were actually cooking your books?” Her stomach clenched. She could probably wreak havoc on John’s entire existence.
“I don’t doubt that they’d try. Believe me, it makes it easy to stay honest.”
“Why are so many people opposed to the casino?”
“Well, there are the people who are against it for the same reasons as you.” He touched her lips with a finger. “You know, gambling, drinking, people wasting time having fun. But I suspect even more of them are just jealous. They think we’re getting away with something. Enjoying some benefit that they can’t have because they’re not Indian. No one likes to feel excluded.”
“I suppose you’re right, but isn’t it supposed to be a reparation of sorts for past injustices?”
“I think some people see it that way, especially people who are trying to justify their gambling losses as a charitable donation.” He winked. “But really it’s just a recognition of past treaties, allowing us sovereignty over our own lands and people. So many of these agreements were ignored or broken over the centuries, and now things are changing. There’s no element of payback in it. If anything you’d think Americans would be glad that we’re finally getting with the program and embracing the complicated laws and unbridled capitalism that have made this country so powerful and influential.”
John was so charming it was hard to imagine anyone disagreeing with him once they’d talked to him face-to-face. “So basically, you’re just trying to fit in.”
“Exactly.” His wicked grin made her smile in response. And kiss him. She couldn’t help herself. Something about him had totally undermined her defenses. He kissed her back. It was warm and invigorating, and soon he had to reach for another condom.
Bliss filled her as John entered her again, banishing the years of loneliness and wanting. Her body blossomed under his affectionate caresses, and her inhibitions faded away as their intimacy deepened. Was it really this easy to find happiness with another person?
She drifted off to sleep in his calm embrace, feeling utterly at peace with the world. Right now she could easily imagine herself and John as a couple, sharing their days and nights, their thoughts, their dreams.
Could this taste of paradise turn into her real life?
Constance awoke with a jolt. Sunlight streamed through a crack in the curtains, announcing that the day was well under way.
John was gone, his side of the bed rumpled and empty.
She blinked, trying to read her watch. Ten-fifteen? She’d slept half the morning away. Why hadn’t John woken her? She clutched the covers around her, trying to cover her nakedness, even though she seemed to be alone in here. Where were her clothes? She barely remembered taking