A Million Little Things. Susan Mallery
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Pam’s tone was annoyed.
“I’m just checking.”
“Monitoring. You’re monitoring.” Her mother shook her head. “I can’t wait for you to have another baby.”
A second child? Jen felt her chest tighten. “Why would you say that?” How on earth could she manage? She was barely hanging on with Jack. There weren’t enough hours in the day. She couldn’t do it, couldn’t worry twice as much. She would explode—or maybe just shrivel up like an old, dead bug.
“You wouldn’t have time to ask if I’d bathed Lulu.” Her mother offered a sympathetic smile. “You need to get out of your head more, Jen. Everything’s fine. You’re suffering for nothing.”
“That’s harsh.”
“I don’t mean it to be. I wish you could believe me.”
About Jack, Jen thought resentfully. That was what her mother meant. Pam wished Jen would stop worrying about her son not talking. Like that was going to happen. There was something wrong with Jack and everyone’s lack of belief didn’t change the truth.
“You worried, too,” she said, knowing she sounded resentful. “All the time. Dad was forever calling you on it.”
Her mother smiled. “I did worry, but you take things too far.”
“I don’t.”
“If you say so. On another topic, I saw Zoe a couple of days ago.”
The unexpected statement had Jen blinking at her mother. “My friend Zoe?”
“That’s the one. She came to a class at Mischief in Motion, and then we had lunch. She’s so sweet. I can’t believe she locked herself in the attic. That had to be terrifying.”
“What are you talking about?” Jen asked.
“Zoe accidently got stuck in her attic. The door’s sticky and slammed shut. I would have freaked out, that’s for sure. She didn’t tell you?”
“Um, no, she didn’t mention it.”
Jen wanted to ask when this had happened and why she didn’t know about it. Except she knew the answer to the second question. She didn’t know because she and Zoe weren’t talking very much anymore. Certainly not on the phone. They rarely went out together. Zoe still dropped by most Thursdays, but her last visit hadn’t gone very well.
Guilt pressed down on her. Yet one more thing she was supposed to fix. Just not today, she told herself.
“So, Mom, where are you and your girlfriends going next?” she asked brightly, hoping for a change of topic.
“We’re doing a long weekend in Phoenix in a few weeks, then my cruise in June.”
“Where’s the cruise?”
Pam sighed softly, making Jen wonder how many times she’d already asked that same question. It wasn’t that she wasn’t interested, she told herself. She was busy. She couldn’t be expected to remember every detail of her mother’s life.
“Northern Europe,” Pam told her. “We start in Copenhagen and spend two days in St. Petersburg. There’s a day trip to Moscow.”
“That will be interesting.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
Jen glanced down at Lulu and felt another stab of guilt. No doubt she should offer to take the dog while her mother was gone. Lulu was comfortable in the house and relatively well behaved. Only it was one more thing that Jen didn’t have time for. Plus the dog would go to the bathroom out in the yard and then Jen would have to clean it up. There were germs to consider and it was all so exhausting.
They reached the carousel. Pam put Lulu in her large tote while Jen got Jack out of his stroller. Her son clapped when he saw the wooden horses circling round and round. He pointed.
“The blue one,” she said. “I remember.” The blue horse was her son’s favorite.
They purchased tickets and waited for the carousel to stop. Once they reached the blue horse, Jen set Jack on the painted saddle and carefully strapped him into place. She stood on one side while Pam took the other. A minute or so later, the carousel began moving. Jack laughed and waved his arms.
“How is Kirk?” her mother asked.
“Good. Okay. I wish he hadn’t joined the LAPD, but it’s done now.”
“What about his partner? Is he improving with time?”
“I wish.” Jen grimaced. “Lucas is a character, and not in a good way. He’s got to be fifty and his latest girlfriend is twenty-two. Whatever do they talk about?”
Pam raised her eyebrows. “I doubt they’re talking.”
“Oh, Mom.”
“Don’t ‘Oh, Mom’ me. I’m not kidding. Lucas and Kirk have stressful jobs. People deal with stress in different ways. That’s his. Or are you concerned about something else?”
“He’s a cowboy. I worry he’s going to get Kirk into a bad situation. Or a dangerous one.”
“I thought he was a good detective.”
“He is. He’s well respected. Kirk was really happy when they were assigned together. I just think he’s a bad influence. All those women. Kirk’s married.”
“You think Lucas will try to influence Kirk into—” She glanced at Jack. “You think he’s pushing Kirk to have an a-f-f-a-i-r?” She spelled the last word.
“I don’t know. I hope not.”
“Kirk wouldn’t do that.”
“Not every guy is as great as Dad.”
“Is Kirk giving you reason to think he would do that?”
Jen wished she hadn’t started down this path. “Not exactly. It’s just, he’s busy and I’m busy. We have Jack. Things are different now.”
Her mother turned to face her. “Jen, are you and Kirk having regular sex?”
“Mom!” Jen glanced around, but they were pretty much by themselves on their side of the carousel. “We can’t talk about that here.”
“Why not? This is important. You can’t let life and work and the baby come between you and your husband. Women show love through words and actions. Men are different. For a lot of them, sex is an expression of love. In a marriage, sex is bigger than a man having needs. Of course he does, but without lovemaking, there’s often no way for him to demonstrate how he cares. You both need a strong, vigorous sex life.”
“Stop, I beg you. I don’t want to have this conversation with my mother.”
“You’d better be having it with someone.” Pam looked at her. “This is serious.”
“I know.”
“Your father and I always had a great sex life.”
Jen squeezed her eyes shut. “Stop. You have to stop. No one wants to know this. I can’t handle thinking about my parents’ sex life.”
“Fine, but just know this. Sex is an important part of any successful marriage. Don’t forget that. Kirk sure hasn’t.”
“Fine. You’re right. I get it. Can we please talk about something else?”
Her mother hesitated, then nodded. “I have a new client at MWF. I like her a lot.”
“That’s nice. What kind of business does she have?”
Pam talked about a nail salon, but Jen was only half listening. Part of her was still weirded out, thinking about her parents doing it. But the rest of her was more concerned about what her mother had said about men and sex. She and Kirk weren’t