The Long Walk Back. Rachel Dove
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in the chest.
‘Captain Cooper thinks he is hilarious. I’m just waiting for him to call me ‘toots’ and slap me on the behind,’ Kate said, seething. Trevor checked the vitals on his sleeping patient, and satisfied, made notes on his chart.
‘So he’s awake? That’s amazing! How is he doing?’
‘Oh he’s doing just fine, for a male chauvinist pig.’
Kate,’ Trevor admonished, trying not to laugh at her furious expression. ‘How are his vitals?’
Kate pursed her lips, taking a breath to focus on the job. ‘He’s stable, the chest drain is working well. I’m still concerned about his leg though. He has limited blood flow to the area, and I’ m worried about sepsis.’
Trevor nodded sadly. ‘So he will probably lose the leg, if we try to keep him alive.’ He rubbed at his temples. ‘Not told him any of this, have you?’
Kate shook her head. ‘I told him you would explain on this morning’s ward round. I wanted to go through everything again, monitor him closely for as long as we safely can before we make a decision.’
Trevor looked at her, his face unreadable. ‘It may not be our decision, it’s up to him.’
Kate looked nonplussed. ‘The evac chopper is coming in two days. At present, he’s too unstable to move. We need to get him home then, leg or no leg. A decision between losing a limb and dying is not a great thing to have thrust at you, granted - but he wants to live, surely?’
Trevor placed the chart at the foot of the bed and started to walk towards the next patient, issuing medication instructions to the nurse as he walked.
‘Kate,’ he began in a tone he might have used to tell his child that Father Christmas wasn’t real. ‘I have worked on men like Captain Cooper since this whole nightmare started. These are army men to the core. Sometimes going home means no family, no buddies, no job, and a lifetime of relying on other people. They are proud, and sometimes, to them, the reality is worse than death. Don’t take anything for granted when it comes to patient wishes.’
‘A boy died yesterday, to save these men. Surely that’s reason enough to want to live?’
Kate ran her fingers through her hair, suddenly feeling tired all over again.
‘Cooper knows that. Better than most, probably. It’s still his decision, he has to live with it. Understood?’ Trevor spoke firmly now.
Kate opened her mouth to argue, but she thought better of it. She respected her mentor, always had, and she didn’t want to argue. Not when the fact that life was so short and precious was evident in every face, every feature she saw over here. ‘Understood.’
‘So what you’re saying doc, is that I’m screwed.’ Captain Cooper was sat up in bed now, the drain poking out from his side. The internal bleeding had been dealt with, his chest now free from shrapnel. All his organs were intact, and the tears in his body had been sewn up, the bleeding stopped.
Trevor pulled a chair across to sit near his bedside. ‘Your left leg is bad, Captain. You’re starting to show signs of infection, and we feel that a below knee amputation is needed. Your chest injuries will take substantial time to heal, and your right leg has been injured by shrapnel from the bomb too. Returning to your unit is out of the question, at least for now. You have a place on the chopper, but the next few hours will decide whether you are fit enough to make the journey back to the UK.’
Captain Cooper sat motionless in the bed, his mind obviously working overtime as he processed the information. Kate stood behind Trevor, watching Cooper with interest. She couldn’t imagine having to make a decision like this, but she knew what her answer would be.
‘And when do you need an answer?’ Cooper said flatly, not looking at Trevor, but directly at Kate. She blushed under his intent gaze, and felt pathetic that her body responded to the pull of attraction at such a time. Trevor pulled a marker pen out of his top pocket, and lifting the covers, made a mark on the area of skin just poking out from the top of the bandages.
‘We need to monitor you. This will tell us if the antibiotics are working – we need to watch out for any colour changes above this line on your leg. We have to make a decision tonight, and I would highly recommend that you have the surgery Captain, and be on that chopper when it leaves.’
Kate looked away from the Captain’s face, feeling his gaze on her again. She didn’t trust her own face not to betray her emotions. A deep voice broke the silence of the machines beeping in the room.
‘I withhold consent.’
Kate snapped her head towards the voice. Cooper looked determined, resigned to his decision and angry, as though he was daring them to challenge him. Her heart sank.
‘Captain, you do realise that—’
‘Yes, Missy. I realise what I am saying, and I withhold consent. You can’t take my leg.’
‘You have to live, you can live without a leg. With modern-day medical advances, you can still live a good life. It’s not over for you.’
‘I withhold consent. You can keep your medical advances.’
Kate opened her mouth to argue, moving closer to the bed, but Trevor stood up to stop her.
‘Captain, that is your decision, but let’s see what happens over the next few hours, okay? Think it over, we realise it’s a huge decision to make.’
The Captain snorted. ‘No shit, doc. I won’t change my mind.’
Trevor nodded, an almost imperceptive movement. ‘Kate, keep me updated.’ He left the area to tend to other patients.
‘Trevor,’ she called back to her boss, a little too sharply. Trevor never even turned around, just kept walking. Kate could tell he wasn’t happy with this, but was going along with it.
‘You heard the patient, Doctor,’ he said without turning around, all business. She knew he would be tormented inside, but now wasn’t the time for keeping opinions to himself.
‘Captain, you are making the wrong choice.’ Kate turned back to her patient nervously, aware that she shouldn’t be speaking this way to a patient. ‘You have to fight, you have to be strong. You need to fight and stay alive.’
The Captain looked at her again, and she felt a flush creep across her skin as his eyes ran over her body. For a nude man, he had the undressing people with your eyes thing nailed. She was the one who felt naked, exposed in front of him.
‘I know you don’t get it Missy, but this is my life. Without it, there’s not much to stay alive for.’
‘How can you say that?’ Kate said, stunned. ‘It’s a job, not your life. It’s what you do, not who you are. You have a chance to keep living, you should take it. Now.’
Cooper crossed his arms gently, his pale face wincing at the pain of his movements. He was looking sicker and sicker as time passed, and she knew he must feel it.
‘So you’re here for what, a paycheck? That bauble on your finger not float your boat enough? No kiddies to pop out at home, no dinner to make, slippers to fetch? The boy on that roof never even got to grow up. I know about life doc, and I choose not to live with one freakin’ leg.’
Kate’s hand made a fist, and she felt the engagement ring that Neil had given her dig into her palm. ‘How dare you! Being a wife isn’t a job, and you don’t know anything about my life! It’s just a leg, you can survive this! Otherwise, what’s the point?’
‘No!’ Cooper boomed. ‘There is no point! And you don’t know anything about my life either! You see a wedding band, eh Missy? Tell me, if you couldn’t be a doctor, what would you do? How would you spend your life?’
Kate’s mind flashed to an image of Jamie, at home with Neil, the man she had flown to a warzone to get some space from, and she closed her