Modern Romance Collection: May 2018 Books 5 - 8. Кейт Хьюит
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her nerves and hand both surprisingly steady. Three minutes had been an agony to wait, but now that the time had come she felt calmer because she knew she wanted to know, needed to know, for her own sake, her own sanity. She couldn’t take any more limbo. Even so, the single line, stark and vivid, felt like a smack in the face, a fist to the gut.
One line. Not pregnant.
Olivia sank down onto the edge of the sunken tub, her heart plummeting like a stone. Disappointment. That was what she felt now—like a tidal wave crashing over her and pulling her under. Total, sick disappointment. Tears stung her eyes and, impatient with herself, she blinked them away. This was a good thing. It had to be.
If she’d been pregnant, Zayed would have felt honour-bound to keep her as his wife, and theirs would have been a marriage of expediency and growing resentment, hardly the kind of environment in which to raise a child, never mind find her own happiness.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Yes, this was better. Even if her heart now felt like a leaden weight inside her, dragging her down.
‘Olivia?’ Zayed rapped on the door. ‘Surely you must have taken the test by now?’
‘Yes.’ She couldn’t let the disappointment show on her face, Olivia realised with a jolt of panic. That would be far too humiliating, to have Zayed realise she’d wanted his baby. She’d wanted to stay. ‘Yes, I’ve taken it.’
‘Well?’ Zayed sounded impatient, and Olivia couldn’t tell if there was any other emotion underneath that, hope or fear or something else.
‘I’m coming out.’ She glanced at the test one last time, the single, stark line, and then threw it into the bin. As she washed her hands she gave herself a silent and stern talking-to in the mirror.
This is for the best. It really is. You know that, Olivia, in your head, if not in your heart. You wouldn’t want Zayed to feel trapped. You wouldn’t want to feel trapped.
‘Olivia,’ Zayed prompted, a definite edge to his voice. She opened the door. His narrowed gaze scanned her from head to foot, assessing. ‘Well?’
‘I’m not pregnant,’ Olivia said quietly. Thankfully her voice was steady, as were her hands, which she folded in front of her.
‘You’re not?’ Zayed sounded surprised. ‘But...’
‘But what? This was the most likely outcome, really.’ She made her mouth turn up in a smile. ‘It’s a relief for both of us, I’m sure.’
‘Yes.’ Zayed’s lips pressed together in a firm line. ‘Yes,’ he said again.
Olivia took a deep breath, willing this moment onward. ‘So,’ she said, prompting him to make that painful cut she knew was necessary. Zayed simply stared at her, eyes still narrowed. ‘You will resume negotiations with Sultan Hassan,’ Olivia continued. ‘And I will...’ She paused, wondering just what she would do. Where she would go from here. The future felt like a void. ‘I’ll make my plans.’
Zayed’s eyes narrowed further, to silvery-green slits. ‘And what plans are you thinking of making?’
Olivia tilted her chin. ‘That’s not your concern any more, is it?’
‘You’re my wife. Of course it’s my concern.’
‘Don’t, Zayed.’ She didn’t think she could take one of his autocratic dictates right now, never mind his playing the marriage card. ‘You know I’m not your wife like that.’ Never like that.
‘You’re my wife in every way possible at the moment,’ Zayed returned. ‘Or have you forgotten last night?’ Heat simmered in his eyes and Olivia felt as if the very air between them had tautened.
Olivia knew she’d live with the memory of last night for the rest of her life. ‘Of course I haven’t.’
‘Until this issue is resolved to my satisfaction, you will make no plans,’ Zayed ordered.
‘Your satisfaction?’ Was he actually going to keep her prisoner? She didn’t think she could bear it. ‘And what about mine?’
‘And yours,’ Zayed allowed. ‘I will make sure you are provided for, no matter what. But we are not finished here, Olivia. Not yet.’
‘How can we not be?’ His words, flatly delivered as they were, offered her a shred of hope that she knew she should refuse. Far better for him to release her, free her, so she could start to recover and heal. Staying with him would prolong the agony of wanting something she now knew she could never have. ‘You need to focus on Princess Halina,’ Olivia pressed on. ‘And Sultan Hassan. I’m no help there, Zayed.’
‘You might be. Princess Halina might want to speak with you.’
‘And do you want that?’ she challenged. What on earth could she say to Halina that her friend wanted to hear? The conversation would be devastating for them both.
‘In any case,’ Zayed said, ‘Sultan Hassan has taken Halina to Italy and is refusing my messages as well as any possible meeting. I cannot resume any marriage negotiations at the moment.’
She stared at him, surprised at how unperturbed he seemed by the situation, when he’d already told her more than once how essential this marriage alliance was. ‘Then...what will you do?’
Zayed stared at her for a long moment, his gaze considering. Olivia held her breath, although she wasn’t even sure why. It felt as if they were on the precipice of something important, but what?
‘I rather thought,’ he said slowly, ‘I might stay married to you.’
The words echoed through her, reverberating for several endless moments. ‘You rather thought?’ she repeated in numb disbelief, even as she tried to tamp down the absurd happiness spiralling inside her. ‘Do I have no say in the matter, then?’
‘Of course you do.’ Impatience flickered across Zayed’s face and then he deliberately relaxed, offered her a smile. ‘That’s why I’m discussing it with you now.’
Olivia blew out a breath. ‘I didn’t realise this was a discussion.’
‘Let’s not quibble about semantics.’ He crossed the room to sit on a divan by the window, one leg elegantly crossed over the other. ‘Let’s have a reasonable, measured conversation.’
About marriage. Because, of course, this was going to be a business arrangement, just like his marriage to Halina would have been.
‘All right.’ Olivia moved over to the sofa flanking his and sank onto it. ‘Tell me what you’re considering, then.’
* * *
Zayed glanced at Olivia; she sat with her ankles crossed and her hands folded in her lap, like a nun awaiting her orders. Zayed knew he needed to handle this with both care and sensitivity. What seemed obvious and easy to him would not necessarily be so to Olivia.
‘It’s come to my attention that having a western wife with a background in diplomacy is no bad thing.’
‘A background in diplomacy?’ Her eyebrows rose. ‘I’d hardly give myself so much credit. My father was a diplomat, yes, a minor one, but I never was.’
‘Still, you speak several languages; you’ve lived in many countries. Whether you realise it or not, Olivia, you are a woman of the world.’
She looked away, colour touching her cheeks. ‘With very little experience of anything.’
‘You were as at ease with the tribe’s women a few weeks ago as you were with Serrat last night. Your lack of worldly experience does not discredit you.’
She shook her head, her gaze still averted. ‘What of the marriage alliance that was so essential to you?’
‘I took a risk when I attempted to kidnap Princess Halina. A knowing risk. It hasn’t worked out, so I can look