Love Affairs. Louise Allen
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out his threats to ruin her, that must remain in the realms of fantasy. It was a very stimulating thought though and his body reacted to it with a shocking lack of discipline.
With an inward snarl at his inner primitive male Avery wrenched his thoughts back to reality and the sensible thing, which was to avoid the blasted woman, get his rebellious body under control and stop reacting like a green youth whenever the scent of her was in his nostrils. But in the confines of one house, and with an innocent child in the middle of the thing, he was not certain how avoidance was going to be possible. He wondered whether it was still possible to purchase hair shirts.
He was certainly no fit company just at the moment for an innocent young lady, not without a moment or two to collect his thoughts. ‘Will you excuse me, Lady Amelia? It is almost time for dinner and Lady Birtwell asked me to take in Lady Catherine Dunglass, so I had better find her and make myself known.’
‘She is over there by the window in the yellow gown. So brave to wear that shade of primrose with red hair.’
Little cat, Avery thought, amused by the flash of claws. Lady Catherine had dark auburn hair and the primrose gown was a rather odd choice to complement it, but he doubted a mere man would have noticed without that little jibe. Was Lady Amelia aware of just why this house party had been assembled? Or perhaps she considered all single girls as rivals on principle and dealt with them with equal resolution. Perhaps they all did, he thought, startled by the notion that the ladies were hunting the single males with the same determination, although probably with rather different motives, as the gentlemen pursued them.
Parents were obviously searching for just the right husband for their daughters, but surely these girls, innocent, sheltered and privileged, were not ruthlessly seeking men? Weren’t they supposed to wait passively to be chosen, exhibiting their accomplishments and beauty? He glanced across at Laura again. The fast young women like her were after excitement, obviously, but these other young women? He was obviously hopelessly naive in this matter of courtship and he did not like feeling at a disadvantage. It was not a sensation he experienced often.
Avery murmured a word to Lady Amelia and made his way across to the window and Lady Catherine, passing close by Laura as he did so. She turned and looked at him, her gaze clear, limpid and implacable. Was it only obvious to him that she had been kissed to within an inch of ravishment only a short while before? Her lips were full and a deep rose-pink and a trace of rice powder glinted on her cheek where he must have roughened the tender skin with his evening beard. Marked her.
Mine, something primitive and feral growled inside him. Madness, his common sense hissed back. This woman was a threat to everything that was important to him. He had tried to put aside the knowledge that she was Alice’s mother, his daughter’s blood kin, and that by following his instinct, to keep the two apart, he was both punishing Laura and preventing Alice from ever knowing and loving her own flesh and blood.
Of all the awkward times and places to have an attack of doubt! Avery moved behind an ornate screen to try to collect himself for a moment. Alice would never stop wondering why her mother had left her. As she got older she would speculate on why her parents had not married—and would doubtless place the blame on Avery’s head.
I could tell her the truth—but then she will know Laura sent her away, completely out of her life. How could she face that rejection? She will know I am not her father. And if she blames me? I sent her father back to war and his death. I am stopping her mother from being with her. The shock would be terrible, her trust would be destroyed, not just in me, but in the whole basis of her life.
Fear was an alien emotion, except when he thought about Alice having an accident, being ill, being frightened. Now he knew he was afraid for himself. If Alice discovers the truth, I will have hurt her. And if I lose Alice, I have lost the only person I love.
Exerting all the control he had, Avery stepped out of cover and found Laura’s eyes still on him. Hell, he wanted her. If he had not known all the things he knew about her he would have liked her as much as he had liked ‘Mrs Jordan’. Her dubious reputation as Scandal’s Virgin meant nothing to him now, he realised as he met her gaze, filled with pain and fear and pride.
It took a physical effort to break that exchange of looks, to move. Then he was past her and asking Mr Simonson, a club acquaintance from White’s, to introduce him to Lady Catherine. Avery forced a smile and turned all his attention on the young woman.
She was shyer than Lady Amelia, but with a sweeter expression. By the time dinner was announced, with Lady Catherine seated to Avery’s left, she was chatting quite naturally, with no little tricks of flirtation. They agreed that they both preferred the theatre to opera, that the state of the king’s health was very worrying and disagreed over the paintings of the artist Turner, which Lady Catherine found inexplicable.
‘I prefer the work of Sir Thomas Lawrence. Papa had Mama painted by him and it is very fine. And I like paintings that tell a story.’ She smiled nicely at the footman serving her soup, which earned her points with Avery. ‘But then I like novels and I expect you think that very shocking.’
‘Minerva Press?’ he enquired. ‘Gothic tales of horror and romance?’
‘Of course!’ She laughed, then hastily put her hand to her lips as though anxious her mama would chide her for expressing herself too freely. ‘Do you despise novels, Lord Wykeham?’
‘Certainly not.’ He did not read them himself and the plots of most Gothic tales seemed improbable in the extreme, but he knew perfectly intelligent diplomatic wives who adored them, so he was not going to cross this young lady off his list just because of her tastes in reading.
Avery passed her the rolls and butter and found himself meeting the quizzical gaze of Lady Laura, diagonally across the table from him. Her glance slid from him to Lady Catherine and her mouth curved into a faint smile before she went back to her soup. Had he imagined that burning look with all its agonising emotions a short while ago? It appeared Laura approved of Lady Catherine. Perversely, he began to find the redhead a trifle vapid.
Laura was partnered by Lord Mellham, one of the slightly older bachelors. She looked exquisite, beautifully coiffed, dressed in an amber-silk gown that skimmed lower over her bosom and shoulders than the styles worn by any of the other unmarried girls. And she was wearing coloured gemstones, yellow diamonds, he rather thought. A slightly daring choice for a single lady, just as her rubies had been that night on the terrace, yet her behaviour was perfectly modest and not in the slightest flirtatious.
Avery studied her partner. Mellham kept glancing at the creamy curves displayed so enticingly close to him and seemed a trifle disappointed that he was not receiving more encouragement for his sallies. Soup finished, he put down his spoon and one hand vanished under the table. Avery felt himself stiffen. If Melham was touching her... Laura bit her lower lip, shifted slightly in her chair and whispered something. Mellham grinned and both hands appeared above the table again.
Avery caught Laura’s eye again. She lifted one dark brow and murmured something to Mellham, who went red. Obviously the lady had no need of protection tonight. Avery felt a curious sense of disappointment. Something in him wanted action, would have welcomed violence.
The soup plates were removed, the entrées brought out and Avery turned to his other side to make conversation with Mrs de Witt, the wife of a politician and a notable society hostess. With her he had to make no effort. The conversation flowed with the ease, and at the level, he was familiar with from countless diplomatic receptions. As his inner composure returned he reflected that it was tactful of Godmama not to surround him with unmarried ladies and settled down to enjoy Mrs de Witt’s opinions of the vagaries of various ambassadors.
* * *
Laura turned from Lord Mellham to chat to Mr Bishopstoke, the younger son of an earl and an old acquaintance. This gave her an excellent view of Lord Wykeham’s averted profile as he talked to Mrs de Witt.
‘Lady Birtwell has assembled a very creditable number of guests, considering the Season is still under way,’ Mr Bishopstoke observed.
‘I expect we all need a little rest and,