Love Affairs. Louise Allen
Читать онлайн книгу.
but they haven’t retired yet and my father doesn’t get home until seven from his office, and my mother’s hardly ever home any earlier, and they’re both too tired to be of much use. And anyway, Dad finds watching him deteriorate incredibly stressful and that makes him a bit curt so he always manages to rub my grandfather up the wrong way and then they fall out.’
‘And you get on with him?’
He smiled ruefully, but his eyes softened. ‘Well, we used to. He was my best friend when I was a kid. My brother and I spent a lot of time there in the school holidays because our parents were both working, and he had endless patience with us. He was a teacher, and he took it seriously and made everything an adventure. We did so many things together, and nothing was too much trouble. He was far more of a father to me than my own father was.’
‘So you’re balancing the books?’
He nodded slowly. ‘Kind of.’
‘And where’s your brother in all this?’
‘London. They live in Dulwich and they have busy lives.’
Which was code for too busy to look after an ailing old man and the wife who was loyally supporting him. Like their parents, who also found it too stressful. And Ed didn’t? She wanted to smack them all for leaving him and Marnie to cope alone.
‘Have you eaten?’
‘No. I’m not hungry.’
‘I thought you might say that. I brought you a sandwich.’
She tore it open and pulled out one of the halves and put it in his hand. ‘It’s a BLT.’
‘Thanks.’ He bit into it absently, and while he had his mouth busy, she sucked in a breath and said what was on her mind.
‘About last night.’
He coughed, choking on the sandwich, and she handed him her coffee.
‘What about last night?’ he asked when he could speak.
‘I just wanted to say thanks again for taking me, and don’t worry, I didn’t get any ideas because of it.’
He met her eyes, the sandwich forgotten, and his mouth tipped into a wry, self-deprecating smile. ‘That’s a shame, because I had ideas all night. Not that I intend to act on them. The last thing I’ve got time for in my life at the moment is a relationship, and I know you’re not that kind of girl.’
‘What kind of girl?’
His smile faded. ‘The kind who doesn’t expect anything except a good time. One who knows the rules.’
‘Oh, I know the rules,’ she said bitterly. ‘Don’t let anyone close. Don’t believe a word they tell you. Especially don’t believe it when they ask you to marry them, because the chances are they aren’t free and they’re just doing it because they know if they don’t, you’ll walk because it’s going nowhere, but it’s going nowhere anyway because he’s a lying bastard and he has a wife and kids and a whole other life back home in the States—’
She clamped her lips shut, and after a stunned silence she heard him let out his breath slowly.
‘Ouch.’
‘Yes. Ouch. Sorry, I didn’t mean to say all that.’
‘Don’t worry about it. Is that why he’s out of your life?’
She laughed shortly. ‘That and the fact that he’s gone home to wifey to try and sort out the train wreck that’s his marriage.’
‘Does he even know about the girls?’
She shook her head, and Ed felt a wave of shock.
‘Wow.’
‘It’s fine. My mother brought me up on her own after my father died, and if she can do it, so can I.’
‘So do they have a father figure?’
‘No—not nearby. My grandfather died three years ago, just weeks before they were born, and I’m an only child. There’s just me, my mother and my grandmother. And Chloe and Grace.’
‘Four generations of women. Wow.’
‘We manage. I make sure I don’t tell them that men are poisonous.’
‘We aren’t all poisonous,’ he corrected softly, and she turned her head and met his eyes and smiled.
‘I know. My father wasn’t, and my grandfather wasn’t, and I’ve got uncles and cousins so it’s not quite as bad as all that.’ She tipped her head on one side, studying him thoughtfully. ‘I’m sure Kate would know the rules.’
He frowned. ‘Why do you keep throwing Kate at me?’
She shrugged. ‘Because I think you’re lonely? Because I think you need someone to share the burden with, someone to take your mind off what’s happening? Someone to have fun with?’
‘So why Kate? If you know the rules, why not you?’
She stared at him for a second, shocked, and then gave a strangled laugh and looked away hastily. ‘Me?’ she squeaked, and her heart thudded.
‘Why not?’ he asked, slightly shocked himself that he’d suggested it, but the idea was growing on him by the second. ‘We get on, neither of us wants a permanent relationship, we both have our reasons for that even though they’re very different, but it means there won’t be any misunderstandings, any broken hearts and tears and threats and disappointment. Just—fun.’
Fun? She stared down at her hands. They were knotted together, the knuckles white, and she was sure he could feel the tension radiating off her. It was so long since she’d had fun she’d forgotten all about it. ‘So, let me get this right, you’re suggesting—what? A no-strings affair? Casual sex?’
‘No.’
His voice was curiously intense, and she looked up and met his eyes. ‘Nothing casual about it, but you don’t want relationship hassles, I don’t want anyone expecting wedding bells, so why not? Not casual, but carefully tailored to fulfil our needs without crossing those boundaries. And more than sex. Much more. I’d like to think we could be friends as well.’
Her heart thudded again. ‘Friends with benefits?’
His mouth quirked into a wry smile. ‘If you like.’
Did she? It was a crazy idea, but she was so tempted. Ludicrously tempted. A shiver of something dangerously exciting ran through her, and she looked away in case her eyes were too revealing.
‘Can I think about it?’ she asked, after an age, and she heard his breath ease out on a sigh.
‘Of course you can. Take as long as you like. There’s no pressure, Annie. And I’ll fully understand if it’s no.’
She nodded, and got to her feet.
‘I’ll let you know.’
* * *
Good grief. She couldn’t believe she was even thinking about it, giving it serious consideration, but she was, all through her shift, and on the following day while he wasn’t at work, and then she was off herself and he was back on again, so it was Monday before she saw him. And she’d had plenty of time to think.
Too much.
Time to think herself into all sorts of hot water. But not, apparently, enough time to think herself back out of it again, because she walked into the department on Monday morning, took one look at him and knew what her answer was going to be.
He met her eyes over the central workstation and after a second his mouth flickered into a smile. ‘Hi.’
‘Hi. How was your weekend?’
‘Chaos, thank you. How was yours?’
‘Lovely. We played