CHAPTER ONE

      ‘AHHH!’ TEARS STREAMED DOWN the pregnant woman’s face while fear glared out at paramedic Stephanie Roberts. ‘It can’t be a contraction!’

       No, please not that.

      Steph pushed her elbows into her sides to control a shudder. The baby was ten weeks too early, according to the garbled comments the woman’s work colleague had uttered as she and Kath, her crew partner, had loaded their patient into the ambulance.

      Steph’s heart grew heavy as the woman’s grip on her hand tightened unbearably. ‘Melanie, I want you to breathe deeply and try to stay calm.’

      ‘Stay calm? When I’m losing my babies again. Tell me how to do that.’ Her voice rose on every word until she was practically screaming. ‘It’s not fair.’

       I will do everything I possibly can to prevent that outcome.

      Using her free hand to wipe her patient’s forehead, Steph read the heart monitor. All surprisingly normal there.

      ‘Babies? You’re having twins?’ That would explain the early contraction. Twins often didn’t go the distance in utero, but this early was not good.

      ‘Yes!’ Melanie huffed. ‘We had IVF.’ Another huff. ‘For the third time.’

      That grip on Steph’s hand would break something any second now.

      It was nothing compared to the ache in Steph’s heart, though. Having to undergo IVF in the first place came with a load of unbearable pain and stress. Losing the resultant baby or babies would be beyond description. She herself hadn’t got that far, but it had been bad enough—and the consequences even worse. This woman was facing her third round of unbelievable heartbreak if these babies weren’t saved.

      Stephanie couldn’t comprehend that—not even with her own experience of being unable to have children.

      ‘If it’s okay, I’m going to examine you. We need to know what’s going on.’

      Maybe there was some miracle floating around that would mean the pain was just a stomach ache. Not that Steph was into miracles. There hadn’t been any going spare when she’d needed one, but Melanie might be luckier.

      ‘My back’s been aching all morning, my waters broke, and now I’ve had a contraction. I know what that means.’

      The woman’s teeth dug so deep into her lip Steph looked for blood. None. Yet.

      ‘Except I want to deny it so that it isn’t true.’

       She doesn’t want me confirming what she suspects. I totally get that. But I’m a paramedic, not a counsellor.

      Tugging her hand free, Steph moved along the stretcher and gently lifted her patient’s skirt and lowered her panties. Dilation had begun. She bit back a curse. They weren’t carrying one incubator, let alone two.

      Now what? These twins had to be saved. They just had to be. Somehow.

      Tucking the clothing back in place, Steph stepped to the front of the ambulance, where Kath was focusing on the road, and spoke quietly and urgently. ‘We haven’t got time to go to Auckland Women’s. Those babies are intent on making an entrance and I doubt they’re going to take their time about it. Head to Auckland Central Hospital as fast as you’re allowed.’

      Actually, faster than they were allowed—irresponsible or not. But of course Kath wouldn’t do that. And nor would Steph if she were behind the wheel. Or perhaps she might, knowing what their patient was facing. The speed limit was there for a good reason, but sometimes rules were made to be broken.

      ‘I’ll let Central ED know the situation.’ Kath reached for the radio handpiece while simultaneously pressing the accelerator a little harder. ‘Sorry I handed you this one.’

       Not half as sorry as I am.

      ‘It’s fine.’ Steph’s heart lurched as she returned to their patient. Life could be so horribly cruel. ‘Has your husband been told what’s happening?’

      ‘Someone at work rang him. He’s going to meet us at the hospital.’

      ‘Then we need to let him know where we’re taking you. Where’s your phone?’

      ‘You just said we’re going to Auckland Central, but my specialist said I have to go to National Women’s if anything goes wrong.’

      Those terrified eyes widened, glittering with unshed tears, and Melanie’s chest rose and fell, rose and fell.

      ‘There isn’t time. I get it.’ The fear became agony. ‘Why do we keep trying? Why are we putting ourselves through this when it never goes right for us? What have I ever done to deserve this? I only want a baby. People have them all the time—easy.’

      Steph reached for her hand, let Melanie hold tight; too bad if her metatarsals were fractured. Apart from taking obs and willing the ambulance to go faster there wasn’t much else she could do. She certainly couldn’t soften the truth; because she pretty much knew what her patient was going through.

      ‘Please don’t do this to yourself.’

       As if the woman could stop.

      If the outcome wasn’t good, those questions would haunt Melanie for months, even years to come. But Steph would make sure that didn’t happen. There was no room for things going wrong. Not this time—not today.

      ‘Concentrate on breathing normally so you’re not agitating your babies. I know it’s hard, but we have to try.’

      ‘You think breathing is going to save my babies?’

      The eye-roll didn’t quite come off but hurt still stabbed Steph under the ribs.

      Because she couldn’t save the babies if they persisted in coming out into the world before reaching the emergency department. That would take a team of gynaecologists and neonatal specialists and a room full of specialised equipment and—oh, look, none of those were on board right now.

      And because... Yeah, well. Because some things were never forgotten. No matter how hard she tried, how much she turned her life upside down and all around, Steph understood some of this woman’s anguish too well.

      ‘Mark’s going to be devastated.’ Melanie gulped.

       Concentrate.

      ‘Your husband?’ she asked softly around the lump of sadness building in her throat. Sadness for Melanie or herself? Both?

      ‘Yes.’

      ‘Want me to call him?’

      Someone had to let him know their new destination and that his wife was struggling at the moment. Not that Steph wanted to be the one to break his heart, but it seemed he was a stayer—had hung around after the first time this had happened. And the second. Chances were he’d do the same again. Melanie mightn’t understand but there was some luck on her side.

      ‘Would you?’ Melanie tapped her screen and handed the phone over, her teeth nibbling at her lip.

       Right, get this done. Tap the phone icon, listen to the ringing, ignore the thumping in your chest. Get it finished, then focus on making this ride as comfortable as possible.

      Kind of impossible,