Christmas In The Cove. Carol Ross
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“You?” he repeated sarcastically. “You plan to win?”
They shared a laugh and she went on to explain her strategy. Then added, “The money isn’t enough to restore the pool to its former glory, but it’s enough to get started. I have ideas on how to raise the rest. A refurbished pool and some proper management, and I know this place could pay for itself again. I would love to get the swim team up and running and expand the swim lesson program.”
They spent a few minutes discussing the details until it was time for Eleanor and George to pack it up. She tossed each child a towel, delivered some encouraging words and watched them head for their respective locker rooms.
She could feel Eli’s eyes on her the entire time. She couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking.
“You never said why you were looking for me.”
His expression turned sheepish. “I wanted to apologize. I, uh, kind of pushed to be deployed yesterday. I saw you down there in the water and when that piece of debris hit you, it took me back... And I couldn’t—I can’t—stand the thought of something happening to you. Apparently that hasn’t changed.”
She swallowed, but it was difficult what with the gigantic lump lodged in her throat. She tried to think of something to say. There was so much she wanted to say, she didn’t even know where to start. And yet another part of her didn’t want to say anything at all. It seemed better not to revisit their history.
“We both know friendship means more than anything in the world to me. I have always done, and will always do, anything for my friends.” Except for our friendship. Except for me, she wanted to add but didn’t, knowing how pathetic that would sound.
She blew out a breath and looked around, wanting to focus on something besides his beautiful face. It felt painful to meet his eyes. After all these years, it surprised her how much it still hurt. Because they had been friends. Best friends. And she’d relied on that—on him. Too much, she’d realized after their breakup. She’d confided in him, depended on him and, yes, she’d been young but she’d loved him with all of her heart. For seven months they’d been more than friends and she’d given him everything she had—body, mind and soul. And more. She’d promised him her future, and he’d done the same.
Except he’d changed his mind. In what seemed like the blink of an eye he’d changed his mind. He’d broken up with her, saying only that a long-distance relationship would be too difficult. The Coast Guard Academy was intense and he’d need all of his energy to focus on that. She’d understood—as much as her shattered heart had allowed her to. After all, she kept telling herself, they were both intent on their Coast Guard careers, and she still had two years of high school left. Eli did need to focus. So did she. Even though she’d hoped they could do so together.
Three days later he was gone. His dad’s transfer came through and Eli moved with him.
Within a month he was attending the Coast Guard Academy and starting a new life. Without her. And as much as that hurt, she couldn’t hate him. She’d never hated him. Mostly she’d been shocked. She couldn’t blame him for moving on, but she couldn’t help but wish he hadn’t abandoned their friendship in the process.
The reliably practical part of her kicked in again, banishing this unhelpful sappiness. He was here now and she needed to get used to that. She would get used to it. She kind of wanted to get used to it. If she could ignore the physical attraction, weed out the warm fuzzies from her heart, which shouldn’t be that tough because they served no constructive purpose, then maybe they could even get some semblance of that friendship back.
But first she needed to make something clear.
“I appreciate the apology. On some level, I even appreciate the gesture. But you cannot do it again, you know that, right? You’re lucky no one caught on. Actually, I’m the lucky one. I have to work with these guys, Eli. It’s tough enough to be a woman in this profession. I’ve earned their respect, but for any of them to think that you don’t trust my abilities? Or, even worse, that you are somehow giving me special treatment? That would be devastating to my reputation.”
* * *
ELI HADN’T INTENDED for this to happen—this revisiting of old feelings and sharing of some kind of moment. He should have anticipated the depth of feelings he’d still have for her. And why wouldn’t he, when, in typical Aubrey fashion, she was making this reunion, and his near screwup, so easy on him?
She’d done this when he’d broken up with her, too. She’d been all composed and sweet, even though he’d been able to see how much he was hurting her. No screaming or shouting or crying. Just those light green eyes brimming with unshed tears and a quaver in her voice as she’d told him she understood. She’d turned and calmly walked away, her thick blond braid swaying at her waist. It killed him even now to think about it.
In a perfect world, they would have remained friends. But he’d known, even at the time, that he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t just be friends with her. Could he be just friends with her now? Seeing as how that was the only option, he needed to figure out a way. And quickly.
Rekindling a romantic relationship was not possible. If anything, the obstacles were even bigger than they’d been twelve years ago. Back then, when he’d had to let her go, his father’s career and reputation had been on the line—as well as Aubrey’s happiness. If he’d told her all of the truth, she would have been devastated. It would have torn her family apart and shattered her happiness right along with it all.
Now that he was back, the stakes were even higher. His career was the one on the line, and he wasn’t going to let anything—or anyone—stand in his way. Not like his father had. He was going to fulfill his dreams. Not to mention that the same complications still existed surrounding Aubrey and her family. As evidenced by his actions regarding the rescue, the instinct to protect her was still as strong as ever.
She was right about her own reputation. It wouldn’t be good for her if her crew thought someone in his position doubted her. Or that he was trying to protect her by giving her special treatment.
“You’re right. It won’t happen again.”
“It better not,” she said firmly. “Or I will have to kick your butt.”
“I would be okay with that,” he shot back. “In fact, if you want to try, I’m available any night after work. Could we have dinner first?”
Her lips twitched and then she laughed.
Eli felt his heart take flight, even as he told himself to ignore the sensation. But she was just so...irresistible. She always had been. Even when they were kids and had been nothing more than friends, he’d loved being around her. She was smart, funny, athletic, driven and focused, yet she could also be a little shy. She was also adventurous to the point of being wild. Fun. Hard-core fun. They’d always had so much fun together.
And the way she was watching him now was nothing short of dangerous because, in spite of their history, and their breakup, attraction still simmered between them. Good sense told him he should get up and walk out right now.
But he couldn’t seem to stop staring at her, couldn’t quite believe he was finally sitting here next to her. And he had a chance to make things better between them. Back in the day she’d possessed a steely courage and, at some point over the years, a quiet, solid confidence had seeped in to replace the shyness she’d battled as a kid. He liked that, too.
“Aubrey, I know I should have come to you a long time ago to...explain somehow.” That was a dumb thing to say. It was unrealistic because he couldn’t really explain without giving everything away. “I should have at least tried to make things right between us. I never intended them not to be. I just... It was difficult for me to—”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” she answered flatly. “I get it, Eli. I got it a long time ago. We were young. Your career was important.”
He swallowed, knowing he should just let it