Regency Affairs Part 2: Books 7-12 Of 12. Ann Lethbridge
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…’ Her voice trailed away at his intense look.
‘Have you examined this ring?’ he asked, holding out a small gold ring with an inlaid garnet. ‘Can you at least do that before you dismiss me out of hand?’
‘Please …’ Hattie knew her heart was breaking and she wasn’t sure how long her composure would remain. She could not take another halfhearted proposal. ‘Please, Kit, don’t make this harder for the both of us. You made your feelings or lack of them quite clear when you asked me before. Nothing has changed.’
He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I’ve gone about this all wrong. I did mean to finish the dance before I gave you the ring.’
She shrugged, but inside she died a little. She owed him an explanation of why they could never marry, even if she was utterly cast out from society and could no longer visit her family.
‘I refuse to marry because society dictates, Kit. I won’t have a loveless marriage. I made the mistake of enduring one once and I have no intention of ever entering such a thing again. What happened was not your fault. I take full responsibility for my folly. You are absolved of all blame. I’ve no idea what Stephanie has been saying, but you must ignore her.’
‘I love you, Harriet.’
‘What?’ Her heart did odd little flips. She had to have heard wrong. This was Sir Christopher Foxton who was destined never to love.
‘I love you with all my heart and soul.’ He went down on one knee. ‘Will you please make me the happiest man on earth and marry me? Please, Harriet, say yes. Say you find a small corner of your heart for me. Marry me and let me prove to you that my love is enough for the both of us. You won’t have a loveless marriage with me, I promise.’
‘You love me?’ she asked, to control the hammering of her heart. She had never expected Kit to say those words. In her wildest imaginings she thought perhaps he might care for her, but declare his love in this fashion!
‘With all my heart.’ He took her hand. ‘I did it all wrong when I made my first proposal. I should have started with the obvious facts.’
‘What are the obvious facts?’ Hattie braced herself for another onslaught of how he didn’t want to love her and was fighting against it.
‘I love you and I have no desire to live anywhere in the world without you. You make me glad that I am alive. You make me want to greet the world with a smile, instead of hiding away from it. It is why I want to marry you, so I can know that we will be together for the rest of our lives. And I want everyone else in the world to know that I have made that commitment to you.’
‘And I am supposed to believe you were going say that?’ Hattie hated the way she could not allow herself to believe, but a large part of her was afraid to believe. She had to know that this wasn’t some great sacrifice on his part which he’d regret, not tomorrow or the next day but some day in the not-too-distant future.
‘Look at the ring. I had it engraved. After what we have been through, I didn’t want to take any chances of you failing to believe my sincerity. I intend to devote my life to you. It is why I arranged Rupert and Miss Parteger’s engagement. I wanted to show you that I am capable and reliable.’
He placed the ring in the palm of her hand. She regarded the engraving on the inside. H., the keeper of my heart, K.
‘You do love me,’ she whispered finally.
‘And you? You told me that you cared for me that night after the lecture, but when I proposed you refused. Tell me what I can do to make you care for me again.’ He touched her cheek with gentle fingers. ‘Have I truly destroyed all feelings you might have had for me? Tell me it isn’t too late. I want to be the man you deserve to love. What are you afraid of? Tell me so I know how to reassure you.’
The naked longing in Kit’s voice resounded throughout the small room. He stood there, not moving towards her, but she could sense how much he wanted to gather her in his arms.
She knew then that he’d stayed in Northumberland not for his mother, but to show her that he could try to be the man she deserved. It was the little things that counted—the way he’d shown responsibility over his mother, how he was restoring the Lodge and how he’d engineered a solution for Mr Hook and Livvy that allowed them the chance to grow up before making that ultimate commitment. And she loved him all the more for it. She had been utterly blind and she had nearly thrown away the single most-important person in her life.
‘The trouble with truly loving someone is that even when your head tells you to stop, your heart keeps right on loving.’ Hattie gave a smile and knew the time was right. She no longer had to hide her feelings or wish them away. The time had come to say them out loud. ‘Yes, I love you, Kit, and suspect I always will.’
His smile could have lit a thousand lanterns.
‘You won my heart a long time ago,’ Hattie continued. ‘I think it began when you fished my gloves out of the reticule, but I didn’t really know how much I cared for you until that day when Strawberry and I jumped the stone wall. You taught me to face my fears. But there was one big hurdle I couldn’t face—declaring my love. You were right when you said that I had to face my fear.’
‘You were tardy in your love, but I shan’t hold that against you. You truly won my heart when you insisted on giving me that blasted jumping-jack at the fair. You knew what I wanted—no, what I needed. You made me into a better man, even if I kicked and screamed a bit, determined to prove you wrong.’
‘You were always that man, Kit,’ Hattie said gently. ‘You had to believe in yourself.’
‘A lesson you taught me. You showed me what loving and forgiveness was truly about.’ He put his arms about her and rested his forehead against hers. ‘You are willing to share the rest of your life with me, then?’
She threw her arms about his neck. ‘Yes, oh, yes. I will marry you.’
Kit whispered after they had soundly kissed, ‘Shall we tempt fate, Mrs Wilkinson, and return to the dance floor? I’ve no wish to cause a scandal.’
Hattie laughed up at him. ‘I will gladly dance with you.’
When they arrived back at the ballroom, the dance had finished. Hattie noticed that Kit gave a distinct nod to the master of ceremonies. As he led her out onto the floor, the man announced the next dance—a German waltz.
Her eyes flew to his. ‘You are incredibly lucky.’
‘I took precautions, yes.’ Kit rested his hand against her waist. ‘I wanted to hold you in my arms. I had anticipated moving straight on to the second dance after the quadrille, but I prefer how things worked out.’
‘You bribed the orchestra?’
‘It will be worth every penny if you stay with me. Will you dance?’
She gave a decisive nod of her head. ‘Yes, I’m feeling brave. I can risk being in your arms.’
The music swelled up around them and he began to move. Absolutely correctly and with great precision. Not even a Lady Patroness from Almack’s or the most severe duenna could fault him. They slowly circled the room.
‘As you can see, I am being utterly trustworthy,’ he remarked.
‘It makes a change.’
‘Hopefully a welcome one.’
She moved closer. ‘I am not sure what to make of it.’
‘You don’t have to make anything of it. Just dance. Let yourself be in the moment.’
‘Are you attempting to teach me something?’
‘I finished with lessons a long time ago.’ Kit concentrated on moving his feet. With each passing step, the urge to crush her to him grew. ‘I simply wanted to hold you in my arms.’
She started to pull away, but