Summer in Sydney. Fiona McArthur
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pulled down her top just a little, and kissed the top of her chest, just above her breast but not on it, he really kissed that little area, so hard and so deep that as she pressed into the seat, as her hands buried themselves in his hair, she thought she might come, and then he lifted his head to hers.
‘I missed that bit last time,’ Cort said, and it would be so easy to accept the invitation in her eyes, to follow every instinct and step inside, except their one night together would turn into two and that was more than Cort was ready for.
‘Now, you really had better go.’
‘I had,’ Ruby said, because getting involved with the senior registrar of the department she was struggling so much in wasn’t the most sensible mix.
Sensible.
‘It wasn’t supposed to be like this,’ Ruby mused. ‘I mean, it wasn’t supposed to be this good.’
Cort gave a very wry smile. ‘You make a terrible one-night stand,’ he said, and it was very much a compliment, because she was more in his head than she was supposed to be.
‘So do you,’ Ruby said.
And that was that.
It had to be.
‘WHAT time do you call this?’
They were all sitting at the kitchen table, three witches around a cauldron, three mothers to answer to, but Ruby loved them all.
‘I just went out for dinner.’
‘With?’ Jess demanded.
‘Cort,’ Ruby said, ‘but it was just dinner.’
‘This morning it was supposed to be just one night.’ Ellie beamed. ‘And now dinner. It sounds like …’ Ellie always did this, an eternal Pollyanna. Cort could have simply been giving her a lift home and she’d have them walking down the aisle in a matter of weeks, but Ruby halted her there.
‘He’s a nice man,’ Ruby said. ‘But it’s not going to turn into anything.’
‘Why not?’ Ellie asked.
‘Because it can’t,’ Ruby said.
‘You look happier,’ Tilly said, and Ruby smiled and nodded just as she always did. She really didn’t need to trouble them with it, because she’d made her mind up that she was going back to do her shift tomorrow, but Ruby took a deep breath because as much as Cort was on her mind, he wasn’t the only thing, and maybe her friends did have a right to know. After all, she’d expect it from them.
‘There was a problem at work today. That’s why he took me out. I didn’t just come home because I was upset. I ran off in the middle of my shift.’
‘Because of Cort?’ Ellie asked.
‘No! I ran off because I hate it there. I mean, I really hate it there and they’re talking about making me repeat it …’ She was close to tears as she said it, more than close to tears because she had to keep sniffing them back. Stupidly she kept saying sorry and trying to smile and apologise for how she felt, but there were arms around her, and the shocked voice of Tilly.
‘Ruby, why on earth haven’t you said?’
‘I just …’ Because she was the positive one, the one who told them all over and over that they could lift their mood and change their energy. Yet it wasn’t that, it was more that she didn’t want to trouble them with this, didn’t want to burden them with her problems.
‘I couldn’t face another day like today, and who’s to say it won’t happen again? Or worse,’ Ruby said, though she couldn’t really think of anything that could be worse. ‘Sheila’s going to fail me if I don’t pick up. Then I’ll have to repeat the placement and I can’t.’ Ruby shook her head. ‘I cannot repeat it.’
‘Then you can’t fail.’ Jess was firm. ‘How long have you got left there?’ She went over to the calendar and checked Ruby’s shifts. ‘You’ve only got tomorrow left on days, the rest of your shifts are agency on the psych ward …’
‘Then I’ve got nights.’ Ruby crumpled. ‘It’s bad enough during the day.’
‘I’m on nights that week,’ Tilly said. ‘I’ll make sure we have our breaks together.’
‘I’m on an early tomorrow,’ Ellie offered. ‘And if I can get away, we can meet in the canteen on your break. If I can’t then Jess will. We’ll get you through this, Ruby.’
‘I know.’ Ruby smiled, because that was what they wanted, to cheer her up, to reassure her it would all be okay, but as they said goodnight it was a relief to get to her bedroom and drop the facade because, yes, they’d be there in the mornings and evenings and even there on her breaks, but nobody could do the hard bit for her. No one could take away her very real fear of that place.
Cort had.
She undressed and ran her fingers over the mark his mouth had made, and tonight, with him, for a while she had honestly forgotten.
So too had he.
She didn’t know what, but as she climbed into bed and looked at her frazzled worry dolls, they reminded her of him, taking all her cares and carrying them for a while, and somehow she did the same for him. He was a different Cort when it was just them together, a lighter, funnier, terribly sexy man that sometimes he allowed her to glimpse.
And despite fighting words, despite telling her friends that it couldn’t go further, there was this little question mark burning inside her, a tiny flame of hope that she dared not fan in case she blew it out completely.
Hopefully, in a couple of weeks she’d be finished with Emergency for good—and then it wouldn’t be a problem.
Unless she failed.
Unless she had to go back.
It was a very good reason for closing her eyes and willing sleep to come.
She had work to do tomorrow.
And she had to do it well.
WALKING out had been tough, but walking back was so much harder.
Tilly walked with her to work and even if Ruby felt she couldn’t tell her the full extent of how difficult it was, she was grateful for her friend’s support.
‘Just get through today!’ Tilly said, and Ruby nodded, putting on her brightest smile and walking in through the department.
‘Morning,’ Ruby offered to Hannah in the locker room.
‘Morning,’ Hannah answered, though her voice was flat. ‘Hopefully today will be better.’
Ruby suddenly got a little of what Cort had been saying—that Hannah, even though she was one of the most senior nurses, even though she was so much older and wiser, would have had a rough night processing yesterday’s events too.
Ruby had timed it so that she wouldn’t have to face the staffroom, so she headed straight to handover, where the early shift were starting to gather.
There was Cort, talking to an intern, but thankfully he didn’t look over as she joined the group and neither did he later when Sheila did the allocations.
‘Connor, take Ruby through with you to the obs ward.’
She wasn’t sure if she was relieved as she headed round there—the obs ward was the easiest place to be. There were a few patients to be assessed and either discharged or admitted to the