Uncharted Waters. Linda Castillo
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step back and tried to get his bearings. Because he was having a hard time meeting her gaze, because that kiss had done something he wasn’t proud of to his body, he looked down at the little boy at her side. But if Drew thought looking at her child would be any easier, he was wrong. The little boy looked up at him with big brown eyes that were hauntingly familiar. His father’s eyes, Drew thought, and guilt rose like nausea.
“This is Kevin,” Alison said cheerfully.
Hoping he didn’t look as shaken as he felt, Drew stuck out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Kevin.”
The little boy grinned and shook his hand vigorously. “I’m four. Are you a real pilot?”
“I was the last time I checked.”
Kevin’s brows went together and Alison chuckled.
He had his father’s smile, too, Drew realized. He wondered how Alison had dealt with that. He wondered if she’d done a better job of dealing with Rick’s death than he had.
“You ever flown in a plane before?” Drew asked the boy.
“Me and Mommy flew in a plane from Washington D.C.”
Rick’s parents lived in D.C. Last he’d heard, Alison was living with them, had been since Rick’s death. Having lost her own parents in an automobile accident ten years earlier, she hadn’t had anyone else to turn to. Drew had wanted to check on her and her kid a hundred times, but in the end he’d always decided they would be better off if he just stayed the hell away.
“Seaplanes are a little different,” he said.
“Mommy said we might see a coral ruff.”
“Uh, coral reef.” Drew looked over at Alison and smiled. She smiled back, and he felt another punch-in-the-gut tug of attraction. “I’ve got to finish up my preflight.”
She cocked her head, questioning him with those clear blue eyes, and he knew she was wondering why he didn’t linger for a moment to talk. Drew didn’t want to explain. Hell, he wasn’t sure he could. When it came to Alison, he’d never quite understood what was going on in that so-called brain of his. Of course, his body made no bones about how he felt physically, and that made everything infinitely more complex.
There was no way in hell he could make small talk with a woman who could turn him on with nothing more than a chaste kiss. She’d been his best friend’s wife. A man Drew had watched die. A man Drew hadn’t been able to save.
Holding that thought, he turned and started for the seaplane without saying another word.
Alison had imagined her meeting with Drew Evans happening a number of different ways. All of them had included warmth and laughter and the kind of easiness she’d always shared with her late husband’s best friend. The man she’d just met wasn’t anything like the Drew Evans she’d known four years ago.
She tried telling herself he was simply busy with the tour and his customers. That his standoffishness and quick getaway had absolutely nothing to do with her personally. She’d surprised him. That was all. He simply didn’t have time for chitchat, regardless of the fact that they’d once been close.
But as much as she tried to justify his reaction to her, she sensed there was something more behind it. His reaction hurt. Not only because he’d brushed her off, but because he’d done the same thing to Kevin. That, she realized, disturbed her more than not understanding why.
She’d expected changes. People didn’t go through life without growing and maturing. They certainly didn’t go through something like what she and Drew had endured four years ago without traces of it being left on their souls. Maybe his response to her now was a result of that.
She’d kept tabs on him through a co-worker at the Department of Defense where she’d worked up until a week ago. Alison had been proud of Drew upon hearing that he’d bought a waterfront home in Emerald Cove. Even prouder when she’d learned of his decision to go into business for himself and open Water Flight Tours. But while she’d silently been cheering him on, she’d also been hearing about the darker things that were happening in his life. Things that had surprised and dismayed her and left her hurting for him.
She hadn’t wanted to believe that someone as strong as Drew could be on a slow downward spiral. That he’d isolated himself from friends and family. She’d always been able to come up with an excuse for him as to why he hadn’t kept in touch with Rick’s parents—or her for that matter. But now that she was here and had seen him face to face, it was obvious all was not well.
Drew Evans looked like a man who was as alone as a man could be and still be alive. He looked like he was spending too much time with his thoughts and not enough with people who cared for him. He looked troubled and isolated and so deep into denial he didn’t even recognize what was happening.
Physically, he was the same handsome pilot he’d always been. Tall and as solid as a mountain. Thinner than she remembered, but it wasn’t for lack of muscle. He used to keep his raven hair cut into a short military style. Now it looked as if he’d gone several months without a trim. His midnight-blue eyes seemed a little bit more haggard than she remembered. A little more knowing. Maybe a little more cynical.
There was a hardness in a face that had once been full of wit and mischief. Distance in a smile that had once been warm and charming. A coolness in a voice that had once been engaging and hard to resist. Where was the happy-go-lucky pilot she’d once known? Once upon a time he’d been easygoing and fun as hell to be with. She and Rick and Drew had spent many a carefree day together. Rick had cared deeply for Drew and so had she.
What had happened to him?
“Mommy, do we still get to fly on the plane?”
Realizing she was standing in the hot sun fretting about something she had very little control over, she knelt before her son and pulled his cap down to keep the sun off his face. “Of course we do, big guy,” she said.
“Is he mad at us?”
Alison grappled for an appropriate response, amazed that a four-year-old child could be so perceptive. Looking into her son’s innocent eyes, she took little comfort realizing she wasn’t the only one who’d noticed all was not well with their surly pilot.
“He’s not angry, honey. He’s just...busy with other customers.”
“Is that why he was looking at you so funny? ’Cause he was busy?”
Alison wasn’t sure “funny” was the right word. Drew had gone downright pale upon seeing them. She didn’t have the slightest clue how to explain his reaction because she didn’t understand it herself. She was saved from having to try when the turbo engines rumbled to life and the props began to spin.
“Mommy! Wowee! Look at the big propellers! They’re spinning around just like on TV!”
The engines were so loud she could feel the rumble all the way to her stomach. “I guess that’s our cue to get in line to board, buddy.”
“Can I sit by the window? Please? Can I, Mommy?”
“If there’s a window seat, you got it,” she said.
Kevin jumped at least a foot into the air, and she laughed outright. Every day he reminded her of Rick a little bit more. From the way he smiled to the way he walked and talked, to the way he approached life, Kevin was his father’s son through and through. She loved him more than anything in the world, and she was so proud of him, her chest swelled every time she looked at him. He was her entire world rolled into a forty-six-pound whirlwind of energy and innocence and a little boy’s unending curiosity.
He’d only been two months old when Rick was killed. Alison had done her best raising him alone, but she knew she held on just a little bit too tight. She’d learned