Highlanders Collection. Ann Lethbridge
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nearly asked why, but kept silent. It was clear that Bram had no desire to take his brother’s place. And in return, Alex had granted him land worthy of his birthright.
‘What sort of house will you build?’ she asked. The land wasn’t suited for farming, but the lush grasses were perfect for sheep or goats.
‘As long as it’s dry and warm, it doesn’t matter to me, Nairna. You can choose whatever sort of shelter you want. My kinsmen will help us to build it.’
Bram stared out at the hills, crouching on one knee. He reached for a clump of grass, tearing out a handful. He let the grasses slip from his fingers until he held nothing in his palm. ‘You truly don’t believe I can get Callum back, do you?’
Heaviness weighed down his voice, and though she had no wish to hurt him, neither would she lie.
‘Not the way you are now, no.’ She moved towards him as he stood up.
‘You don’t think I’m strong enough.’ He took her hands and brought them to his shoulders. She felt the tight muscles, the lean strength that could not be denied. And he wanted her to know it.
‘Strength doesn’t matter when you’re facing arrows or swords,’ she answered. A knot caught in her throat and she grew more aware of how close he stood to her. If she moved a few inches forwards, her face would be pressed against the warmth of his chest.
‘I suppose I shouldn’t have come back for you, Nairna.’ He turned her to face the open meadow, framed by the tall green mountains. ‘I’m not much of a husband, am I?’
He removed his cloak, setting it over her shoulders. The wool still held the warmth of his skin and she drew it around her, as though it were an embrace.
‘I don’t suppose I’m much of a wife, either,’ she admitted, the buried pain rising up again.
‘Why would you say that?’
She hugged her waist and wondered how to tell him what needed to be said. He deserved the truth and it was wrong to keep it from him. She stared at the hills rising in the distance, her eyes burning with unshed tears.
‘Because you’ll want children and I can’t give them to you.’
Bram said nothing at first. He didn’t even look at her, but kept his gaze fixed upon the gleaming loch that shimmered through the trees. Her spirits lowered and she added, ‘For three years we tried. And … nothing.’
His damning silence bothered her. She supposed she’d hoped he would reassure her, but he didn’t. He kept staring at the valley below, and with every second that passed, her spirits sank lower. She couldn’t read his thoughts to know whether he was angry or whether he simply didn’t care.
Nairna turned to walk away, needing a few moments to pull her hurt feelings back together. She only got a few paces before Bram caught up to her. He pulled her into an embrace, lowering his face to her hair. She stood with him, surrounded by nothing except the misty air and the wooded hills. His strong arms held her tight, and the quiet action said more than any words ever could.
Her tears dampened his tunic, and she felt another piece of her heart beginning to crumble away.
Chapter Eight
‘Laren,’ Alex said, catching her by the arm as she was returning to the keep. ‘Why didn’t you come below stairs last night?’
Laren flinched at her husband’s sharp tone. Leaning down to her children, she murmured, ‘Go on to your chamber, girls. I’ll join you in a moment.’
Her four-year-old daughter Mairin stared at them with a troubled gaze, but she obeyed, holding Adaira’s chubby arm in her hand.
In her husband’s eyes, she saw the embarrassment and frustration that she hadn’t greeted the visitors to Glen Arrin. But he didn’t know the truth.
Last night, she’d sat upon the spiral stone stairs, watching the festivities from above. She couldn’t bear being surrounded by so many people drinking and laughing. It was easier to remain back in the shadows where no one would notice her.
She’d seen Alex’s brother Bram and the way he’d looked at his wife with such intense longing. It had been years since Alex had looked at her that way.
Right now, there was only disappointment on his face.
‘I was with the girls,’ she lied. ‘I couldn’t leave them.’
‘He’s my brother, Laren. You should have come.’
She didn’t deny it, for Alex was right. But he didn’t understand how out of place she felt among the MacKinlochs. She’d never felt welcome as their Lady, and more than a few whispered about her behind her back. They didn’t understand how awful it was for her.
‘Where are Bram and his wife now?’ she asked.
‘I gave them the land on top of the ridge to build a house. Last night, I had to put them in the grain shed, because there was no place else for them to sleep.’
She didn’t miss the subtle chastisement, but even their own quarters were just as bad. The roof leaked and it was cold at night. Likely the grain shed was more comfortable.
‘I want to have a welcoming celebration tonight,’ Alex added. ‘Could you arrange it?’
The idea made her slightly panicked, for she had no other women to help her. The MacKinloch men, though strong fighters, wouldn’t dream of setting foot in the kitchens. As only one woman, with her girls, it would be next to impossible.
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. There was food enough, but the preparations would take a great deal of time.
‘Brodie has some geese you could roast,’ Alex suggested. ‘And I’ll send Dougal to help you.’
With the women gone, the task would be nearly impossible. Laren didn’t know how to feed so many men, and if she failed in this, it would only give her husband another reason to be frustrated with her.
Their marriage hadn’t been the same in the two years since he’d become the MacKinloch chief. He hardly ever talked to her anymore, and he slept on the far side of the bed. They’d grown apart, despite five years of marriage.
But then Alex rested a hand upon her shoulder. The touch of his palm warmed her, and as she looked into his dark eyes, the sudden ache of longing came over her.
‘I’ll do what I can,’ she whispered, even knowing that she likely couldn’t succeed.
Alex let his hand fall back to his side. ‘We’re leaving in the morning for Cairnross. If you hadn’t heard, our brother Callum is a prisoner there.’ He stared at the outdoors, adding, ‘I’d rather leave Bram here, but he’s too damned stubborn. If we’re not careful, he’ll get himself killed.’
‘Be careful,’ she urged. The bleak fear in her heart threatened to crack apart the tight control over her feelings. But when she took a step closer, Alex moved aside, his gaze and thoughts focused elsewhere.
As her husband left the keep, she wondered if there would ever come a time when he would look at her with love again.
Bram worked for the next few hours, sweat rolling down his tunic as he lifted stones for the foundation of their house. The punishing work made his arms ache, but he was accustomed to the labour. Nairna wasn’t.
His wife struggled to lift stones that were too heavy for her and he could see the over-exertion in her face. ‘Leave them,’ he advised. ‘You can help me with the framing later.’
She pushed a strand of brown hair out of her face, looking frustrated. ‘I wish I were stronger. You shouldn’t have to do this by yourself.’
‘I don’t mind. And we won’t be working much longer. The sun will set soon.’ He hefted another stone and laid it into the trench he’d dug, aligning