Highlanders Collection. Ann Lethbridge
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her husband was silence and a deep breathing that told her he’d fallen asleep at long last. He didn’t even notice when she extricated herself from him, rolling over to sleep.
Her body was still unbearably aroused, despite the soreness, and she wished she knew what it was she needed.
She nestled closer to him, trying to find the elusive sleep. And though Bram never once let her free of his embrace, it was a long time before her body calmed down enough to find slumber.
Chapter Thirteen
When Bram awakened, his wife was gone. He sat up, feeling dazed, as if he could have slept for hours longer. It was the first time he’d had a single night without restless dreams.
He stretched, wincing at the stiffness in his shoulders. When he rose from the bed, he realised he was naked.
Images flashed through his mind of claiming Nairna. She’d tried to calm him after a nightmare, and her touch had driven him past reason, until he’d finally joined her body with his.
Christ’s bones, he didn’t know what he’d done. Had she agreed to the lovemaking, or had he been so caught up in his visions that he’d taken her without any care?
His shaft tightened with the memory of being inside her and plunging into her wetness. The thought made him restless, wanting her back within his bed. He wanted to spend the entire morning in her arms, tasting her skin, touching her until he learned what aroused her.
No doubt she’d be less than eager to share his bed again. A dull feeling settled inside him. He needed to make amends, perhaps with a gift of some sort. But he didn’t know what would please her.
Uneasy, he rose and dressed quickly. The gown Lord Locharr had given her lay discarded upon the chair and Nairna’s grey gown was missing.
He reached down to touch the fallen garment, fingering the silk. Nairna wasn’t a woman who bothered much with fabric or gowns, but he ought to take better care of her.
His gaze settled upon the fallen stone and he leaned down to pick it up off the floor. The rough texture had been worn smooth by his fingers, after seven years of clenching it within his grasp.
When he’d first courted his wife, words hadn’t been necessary. He’d shown Nairna that he cared and she’d understood what he lacked the words to say. Right now, he needed to atone for the way he’d treated her, but with actions, not words.
He went below stairs, and stopped when he saw Nairna seated among the women, talking to them while Grizel glowered in the corner. His wife spoke words of encouragement, inviting them to return home.
‘It will be different,’ Nairna promised them. ‘But only if you make it so.’ Her eyes shifted, as if she sensed his presence. When she saw him, her face coloured, but she didn’t look away. ‘Leave the past where it belongs and start again.’
He studied her, even as he walked closer. Her brown hair was covered beneath a barbette, several strands resting upon her shoulders. It made her look younger, more innocent.
But no less desirable. Her mouth had softened, and even though she answered one woman’s question, she kept her gaze fixed upon him.
Bram ignored the other women, stepping his way around over-curious toddlers who tugged at him. Reaching down, he took Nairna’s hand in his and bade her rise.
His wife’s face blushed and she murmured an excuse, even as she let him take her away. He was grateful she’d trusted him enough to follow without question.
‘Is something wrong?’ she asked when he took her past the inner curtain wall, leading her to the stables.
He leaned in, resting his face against hers. He could smell the light scent of grass and flowers, as if she’d been sitting within the pasture earlier. Earthy and fragrant, he wanted to breathe in her scent and take it with him.
Every instinct ordered him to kiss her, to touch her the way he wanted to. But within his embrace, he sensed her tension. She wasn’t holding him in return. Her arms remained at her sides and he felt the light tremble of her nervous hands.
Was she now afraid of him? He hoped he hadn’t hurt her. Though the words wouldn’t change what had happened, he wanted her to hear the apology.
He rested his hand against the wall, forcing himself to meet her eyes openly. ‘Nairna, I didn’t mean to take you that way last night. I wasn’t myself.’
She didn’t quite meet his gaze. ‘You haven’t been yourself for a long time.’
He knew it, but there was nothing he could do to change it. He could only ask, ‘Are you all right?’
She nodded. ‘I’m fine.’
She spoke as if it were of no consequence, like an accident to be dismissed. Hearing it made him only angrier at himself. Making love to Nairna was something he’d imagined since he was a boy. He’d wanted her to desire him, to welcome him into her bed. But he didn’t know how to coax the right response from her.
‘You look better,’ she ventured, when the awkward silence continued between them.
‘I slept last night,’ he admitted. ‘For the first time in many years.’
He wished she could understand what that meant. In thanksgiving, he lowered his mouth to hers, drinking from her lips as though she were a precious chalice. He was trying to make amends, to soothe her fears. But once again, all the things he wanted to say were muted.
Instead, he rested his hands upon her back, but he didn’t pressure her. And though he wanted to share her bed a second time, he thought it best to leave her alone. At least until he’d reclaimed the control he needed.
They rode home within the gates, but throughout the journey, Nairna worried about the forthcoming night. The vision of Bram touching her again, using his mouth and hands to evoke the pleasures she’d only glimpsed last night, brought a swift reaction of moisture between her thighs.
She was both afraid and interested, if she were honest with herself. Somehow, last night, he’d released all the pent-up emotions and desires. He’d clung to her as if she were the rock that held him steady in the midst of a sea storm. And the lovemaking hadn’t been unpleasant, not at all. There had been desperate moments, when she’d been consumed by need for him. She’d felt a sense of building anticipation, falling beneath the spell of desire.
In the end, it had happened so fast, she’d been left wanting. It had taken over an hour for her to fall asleep, and even then, she was afraid of what had changed between them.
There was a chance, however slight, that their shared night would result in a child. She prayed that it might happen. But even if it didn’t, she wanted to be with Bram again.
Her husband had slept hard last night, not even waking when she’d risen from the bed. It was the first time she’d ever seen him that relaxed. And it was because of her, from the peace he’d gained in her embrace.
She thought of his bare skin warming hers and shivered at the thought of joining with him tonight. She wanted to believe that their lovemaking would be better this time. Questions burned in her mind about the intimacies of marriage, but she didn’t know who to ask.
The very idea of voicing such questions made her nervous. She couldn’t ask the chief’s wife Laren, for she hardly knew the woman. And heaven knew, she couldn’t ask the men.
Throughout the ride back to Glen Arrin, Bram had kept himself apart. He’d ridden ahead of their small travelling party, with Dougal bringing up the rear. About a dozen women had joined them, along with their children.
Though Nairna was glad of it, she hadn’t found the friendly companionship she’d been hoping for. The air was charged with tension from over-excited children and women who appeared to question their decision to come home.
Bram helped Nairna down from her horse, and held on to her waist a few moments longer.