Loving Leah. Nikki Benjamin
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her. He’d only end up telling her things about himself he’d really rather not.
“Looked to me like the tank’s full,” she advised. Then to Gracie she added, “Come on, sweetie, let’s get started on the front flower bed, okay?”
“We’ll definitely have time to buy some roses now, won’t we?” Gracie asked as she and Leah collected the gardening tools already laid out on the patio table.
“If not today, tomorrow for sure,” Leah replied.
“You’ll go with us, too, won’t you, Daddy?”
John hesitated, trying to come up with a reason besides work to say no. But the hopeful look on Gracie’s face, combined with the warning flash in Leah’s eyes, had him saying, instead, “Yeah, sure, I’ll go to the nursery with you. Can’t have you two buying out the place on me like you did when you went grocery shopping without me.”
“He’s actually more worried about all the planting he might have to do later,” Leah said sagely.
“But we’ll help him, won’t we?”
“We’ll help him all he wants,” Leah said, and the look she gave him before she turned away conveyed much more than what her words alone implied.
Watching as Leah and Gracie disappeared around the side of the house, John allowed himself to consider all the ways he could have used Leah’s help but wouldn’t. And he was reminded yet again of how much he’d missed her in all the years she’d been away. She had always been good for his soul; she could be again.
But he couldn’t attempt to rekindle the relationship they’d shared in years past for so many reasons, chief among them that friendship would no longer be enough for him. And intimacy—the kind of ardent sexual intimacy he could easily imagine having with her—demanded an honesty he could never allow himself to express.
Leah tried not to feel too smug about the slight inroad she’d made into John’s icy reserve of the past few days. She hadn’t intended to embarrass him into helping with the yard work. She’d been fully prepared to mow and rake and weed flower beds with Gracie’s limited help. But given the opportunity to draw John into an activity involving his daughter, she’d have been a fool not to take it.
Her only real hope of making the summer a success for Gracie was to engage John’s cooperation. And as long as he kept running off to his office at the university, she hadn’t any hope of doing that. She wanted him to spend time with his daughter, too, and had begun to fear that her constant presence was the main reason he didn’t.
Leah could see how much he loved Gracie, yet she also sensed a puzzling restraint in him toward the little girl. Had the pain of losing Caro been so great that he was now afraid to let himself acknowledge his love for anyone else, including his own daughter? Leah hoped not. Gracie needed him, not at a benevolent distance, but up close and personal, with his deepest emotions fully and completely committed.
“All done here?”
John’s gruff, matter-of-fact voice startled Leah so much that she lost her grip on the flat of pink-and-white petunias she and Gracie had chosen from the rows on display at the nursery. Instinctively John reached around her with both arms and helped her catch it before it hit the ground. His muscular chest pressed against her back, his strong, broad hands covering hers, he stood for several exquisitely long moments, seeming to hold his breath just as she did.
Leah wanted to lean into him and savor the warmth of his body, wanted to tip back her head and smile up at him teasingly as she would have in the past. Instead, she stood as if frozen in place, her heart thudding slowly in her chest, waiting for whatever angry recrimination he would no doubt choose to hurtle her way.
“Aunt Leah, you almost dropped our petunias,” Gracie said, then added with a giggle, “Good thing Daddy was here.”
“A very good thing,” Leah agreed, sending the little girl a grateful smile.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” John said as he finally eased away from her.
“My fault for not paying attention.”
“Well, pay attention to this,” he said in an almost teasing tone that put Leah in mind of years past. “That is the last flat of flowers going on our tab today, unless one of you wants to walk home. The Jeep is now holding all the plants it can hold and still have room to spare for the three of us. Don’t forget we’re going to have to plant all that stuff, too.”
“I know, Daddy, and I’m gonna help. But we want to stop for burgers and fries first, don’t we, Aunt Leah?”
“Trying to take advantage of my good mood, huh?”
“You’re in a good mood today?” Leah couldn’t help but quip as they waited for John to pay for the plants they’d chosen.
John eyed her quizzically for several seconds, apparently giving her question serious consideration.
“Yes,” he admitted at last, a hint of surprise in his voice. “I am.”
“Must be something in the air,” she offered lightly.
“Or maybe the company I’m keeping.” He held her gaze an instant longer, then scooped Gracie into his arms. “Yeah, it has to be this lovely little girl’s company.”
“Oh, Daddy, you’re so funny sometimes.”
He had meant Gracie of course, Leah told herself as they piled into the Jeep and headed for her niece’s favorite fast-food restaurant. But that didn’t stop her heart from beating faster.
Back at the house again, there was a message waiting for John on the answering machine. A problem had come up at the university lab that required his immediate attention.
“So much for leaving the teaching assistants in charge,” he grumbled after explaining the situation to Leah and Gracie.
“No problem,” Leah told him cheerfully for Gracie’s sake. “The really hard work is all done. We shouldn’t have any trouble putting the plants we bought in the beds after we eat, right, sweetie?”
“Right, Aunt Leah,” the little girl agreed happily enough as she peeled the wrapper off her cheeseburger.
“Don’t try to move the heavier containers,” John instructed, already withdrawing from their company as he headed toward the hallway.
Leah had thought, obviously in error, that he didn’t really want to go to the lab.
“At least eat something first,” she urged, waving a hand at the burgers and fries she’d set out on the table.
“I have to take a shower,” he called over his shoulder. “I’ll eat on the way to the lab.”
He was back in the kitchen in fifteen minutes, wearing khaki pants and a black knit T-shirt, looking so handsome that Leah’s heart ached. Then he was out the door with his food in hand, leaving them with a wave. Leah felt a sense of regret as she heard the Jeep’s engine roar to life.
They had been making some fairly decent progress in the getting-to-know-each-other-again department. For the first time since she’d arrived there Sunday night, she’d felt reasonably relaxed in John’s presence, and he’d seemed reasonably relaxed in hers, as well.
Would he put up the wall of resistance between them when they were next together? she wondered. Would he revert to the man she’d come to dread the past couple of days?
Not if she had anything to say about it, she vowed as she dipped a French fry into ketchup, then munched on it contentedly.
“Why are you smiling, Aunt Leah?”
“I’m thinking about how much fun we had this morning, and how lovely the yard looks now. And I’m thinking that if we get everything planted by tomorrow afternoon, we could plan to have a picnic on Friday.”
“Oh, I love picnics!” Gracie