Modern Romance March 2015 Collection 1. Кэрол Мортимер
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to see Samantha again. Was going to talk to her again.
Whether or not Samantha would be as pleased to see him was another matter.
‘Dare I hope that you’re finally here to see Sam?’ his sister-in-law teased as he entered her dance studio a short time later, obviously having just finished taking her last dance class of the day.
Xander narrowed his eyes. ‘You and Darius should seriously think about becoming a comedy team.’
Andy gave a husky laugh. ‘Sam’s in the office. If you’re interested, that is?’
‘Oh, I’m interested,’ Xander confirmed determinedly.
‘Good luck!’
Xander had no doubt he was going to need it!
‘Samantha?’
Sam stilled as she heard the husky sound of Xander’s voice in her head.
A voice she had heard so many times, and in exactly the same husky tone, these past few weeks. When she was here at work. Or at home with Daisy in their new apartment. When she lay alone in her bed at night.
And each time she heard it Sam felt a twisting pain in her chest. As evidence of the empty hollowness inside her, that she knew only Xander could fill. But never would.
She closed her lids as her eyes suddenly filled with scalding tears, silently willing them not to fall. Wishing the pain of loving Xander would stop. But knowing it never would.
‘Samantha?’
Sam almost jumped out of her chair, her heart pounded erratically in her chest, as she felt caressing fingers against her cheek, her eyes widening with disbelief as she found herself looking up at Xander.
He was the suave and sophisticated Xander Sterne today, successful billionaire businessman. A man so unlike the casually dressed Xander she had known and grown to love four weeks ago. Today he wore a dark, sleekly tailored suit and shirt, with a meticulously knotted tie, and his hair was professionally styled rather than the overlong and shaggy look he had favoured a month ago.
But it was the changes in his face that now caused Sam to frown; his cheeks seemed thinner even than the weekend, the last time he had called and picked Daisy up for the day, with deep grooves beside his mouth and eyes, and his mouth was a grim and uncompromising line.
Her throat moved convulsively as she swallowed, still not completely sure he was really here or just a figment of her aching imagination. ‘Are you real?’
He gave a rueful smile. ‘Unfortunately for you, yes, I’m very much real.’
Sam’s frown deepened. ‘Unfortunately for me?’ She had never been so pleased to see anyone in her life before as she was Xander.
Just to be alone in the same room with him. To be able to drink him in: how he looked, how he moved, how he smelled.
‘That last evening at my apartment you made it pretty clear that you had no interest in seeing me again.’
‘I did?’ The whole of that last day in his apartment had become something of a hazy dream to Sam the past few weeks.
‘You did,’ Xander confirmed grimly as he stepped away from her before thrusting his hands into his trousers pockets. ‘Are you okay, Samantha?’ He could see what Darius meant now; without Daisy as her protective shield, Samantha’s cheeks were pale and hollow, those beautiful amethyst-coloured eyes dark and haunted.
‘Has Howard been bothering you again?’
‘No, absolutely not,’ she assured him hastily. ‘I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen and heard the last of him. And Daisy loves our new apartment. She so much enjoys going to the park after school.’
‘I’m so glad to hear that. But I asked how you were, Samantha,’ he said gruffly.
Her gaze now avoided meeting his. ‘I love working here at the studio with Andy, and to no longer have any money worries—’
‘That isn’t what I was asking, either. Sorry,’ Xander apologised as he realised he had raised his voice. ‘I didn’t mean to shout.’ He grimaced. ‘I just—I’ve missed you, Samantha.’
‘You have?’ she gasped softly.
Xander nodded abruptly. ‘Very much. I— Look, will you have dinner with me this evening?’ A nerve pulsed in his jaw as he waited for her answer.
Sam stared up at him, not altogether sure she had heard him correctly. Why would Xander invite her out to dinner with him? ‘I really am okay, Xander,’ she assured him ruefully. ‘Malcolm signed the contract, and paid the divorce settlement into my account. I’m happy working here, and nicely settled into the new apartment. Daisy is happy—’
‘I don’t give a—!’ Xander broke off, breathing heavily as he ran one agitated hand through the heavy thickness of his blond hair. ‘Well. Yes.’ He grimaced. ‘Of course I care about those things, Samantha. But I’m asking you out to dinner for me, not so that we talk about your new flat, or how much Daisy loves the park or how she’s doing at school.’
She gave a puzzled shake of her head. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Obviously not,’ he muttered. ‘Samantha, I’m trying to ask you out on a date, and all you keep doing is talking about everything else. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? How irritating it is to have you keep telling me how good your life is now, when my own is completely messed up?’
‘It is?’
He nodded abruptly. ‘I can’t eat or sleep. I can’t think.’
Sam could barely breathe as a faint glimmer of hope began to burn in her chest. A hint of light in the heaviness that had been weighing her down for so many weeks. ‘Why not?’
He gave a groan. ‘Why do you think?’
She gave a cautious shake of her head. ‘I have no idea.’
‘Because I’m in love with you, damn it!’ His eyes gleamed darkly. ‘I’m so in love with you that nothing and no else is important to me any more. Not my family. Not my business. Just you. I can’t think of anything else but you. Of how much I miss you. How much I want you and Daisy back in my life. How much I love you.’
‘But you let me go,’ Sam breathed softly.
‘Because you said you wanted to go!’
‘That was because—’ Sam drew in a deep and steadying breath, totally stunned at having Xander tell her he loved her. Xander loved her? ‘I didn’t want to leave, Xander. I just thought— You had been so good to me already, saving me from Malcolm, being so patient and caring with Daisy. I didn’t want you to let me stay because you felt sorry for me, or because you were still trying to protect me. I couldn’t bear that.’ Her voice broke emotionally. ‘If you couldn’t think of me as your equal—’
‘I don’t think of you as being my equal, Samantha. I think of you as being so much better than I could ever be—and I adore you for it!’ He began to pace the room. ‘But I didn’t want you to stay with me out of gratitude, either. Just because I had helped you sort out the situation with Howard.’
‘I don’t,’ Samantha assured him. ‘Well, of course I’m grateful...’ she smiled ruefully ‘...but that’s certainly not the reason I—that I made love with you the night before that awful confrontation with Malcolm.’
‘It isn’t?’
‘Absolutely not.’
There was no way that Xander could doubt Samantha’s sincerity. ‘Then why did you?’ He gave an impatient shake of his head. ‘Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you? How empty my apartment is without you in it? How empty my bed is without you in it?’ He breathed raggedly. ‘I’m going quietly insane here, Samantha; so please