A Dream Christmas. Кэрол Мортимер
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You were considering marrying your fiancé out of a sense of obligation to him and your parents, even though you knew he wanted to be with someone else. And now you’re throwing yourself across the altar that is my life, just begging to be burned alive. My own personal virgin sacrifice.”
“Luc, what are you doing?” she asked, a tear sliding down her cheek.
He hated himself right now. But not more than he would if he let her do this.
“I’m being honest with you. Clint might be able to ask you to be with him, even though he doesn’t really want you or love you, but I won’t.”
“So you don’t love me, or want me,” she said, her voice breaking on the last word.
“You already know I don’t love you, and as for the wanting, I think it’s clear that right now I do. But later … Amelia, I’m not the kind of man who looks for a long-term commitment. I tried it, and honestly, thank God I was liberated from it. I’m not mad at Blaise because he robbed me of marriage, our issues are a lot deeper than that. In the end, I’m happy to have avoided the institution.”
“So you’re saying you would get tired of me?”
“I’ve never had a long-term relationship,” he bit out, his body rebelling against the idea of ever being tired of her. Of wanting any woman other than her. “I’ve never wanted one. So even now, you’re offering something I’m just not interested in taking someone up on.”
“Oh,” she said, blinking rapidly. “I see. I see. So … so what? No more sex even? I was offering you free milk, here, Chevalier. No cow-buying.”
“Amelia,” he said, and he didn’t want to go on, because if she made him keep going, he would have to say something worse, or he would break and tell her he would take her for as long as he could keep her. “No.”
“Great. Okay,” she said. “That’s good, actually, because I had not been sufficiently rejected this week. So it’s better that we just kind of added emphasis to the whole … my fiancé sleeping with a dude thing. Just to make sure I know my place. Gay men don’t want me, straight men don’t want me. Just fine.”
“Amelia, it’s not you.”
“Right,” she said, her voice dripping with disdain. “It’s you. You know what? It is you. And it’s Clint. And it’s even my parents, as well as they mean. Everyone wants something from me, and I bend over backward to give it. And well, okay, in the end that’s me. That’s my problem. I’m the one who gives even when I don’t want to. But the one thing I do want to give … you won’t let me, but you’re still trying to tell me what to do, and I hate it. I don’t want to do what everyone wants anymore.”
“Then don’t,” he said, forcing the words out. “But I don’t want to be with you. And I’m not going to do anything I don’t want either.”
The side of her mouth twitched, her eyelids fluttering. “Well, fine. Great. I can’t argue with that.” She stood up, wrapped in the blanket. “I’m going to go to bed. My bed. Hopefully we get a Christmas miracle and the weather clears up tomorrow.”
“Maybe you’ll get one, Amelia,” he said, his voice rough.
He certainly wouldn’t. He wasn’t the kind of person who got Christmas miracles. But she deserved them.
He watched her walk out of the room and tried not to dwell on the fact that for her, a Christmas miracle would involve being relieved of his presence. He had no right to be upset about it, anyway.
He was the one who had pushed her away.
But it was for the best. He wouldn’t doubt his decision.
FORTUNATELY THE WEATHER had cleared up by morning. But that was the only thing that was fortunate. Everything else was horrible. Amelia felt horrible. Her head hurt, and her heart hurt, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do about either thing.
On the one hand, she now knew for sure that she didn’t love Clint, and never really had in that way you should love the man you were going to marry. On the other hand, she was very certain that she did love Luc.
And given his spectacular rejection of her that was majorly inconvenient.
They didn’t speak in the elevator on their way down to the lobby. They didn’t speak when Luc went to check them out.
“Mr. Chevalier!”
They both looked up to see Don Fleischer walking toward them. She stiffened, and said a silent prayer that went unanswered as Luc reached over and took her hand.
It was like being hit with a lightning bolt. One that was heavy with emotion and horribleness.
A reminder of everything that was good between them, and everything that she wasn’t going to have because he didn’t want to be with her. And he was still touching her like he did.
All for show. This was her nightmare.
But if she pulled away now, it would seem weird. And if it affected the deal then the whole time here would be utterly pointless. Better to just have her virginity lost rather than the deal, too. Though, if she could go back …
No. She wouldn’t change it. Because at least she knew now what she could have. At least she knew she wouldn’t settle for less ever again.
Unfortunately, everything would seem like less after stupid Luc.
He doesn’t love you. You deserve more than that.
Hell, yes, she did.
She gritted her teeth, fought against the tears that were burning her eyes. She wasn’t going to let this get to her. And she wasn’t going to pine. Not when he didn’t deserve it.
Clint had wasted her time. He’d hurt her. But Luc had devastated her.
“Mr. Fleischer,” Luc said, smiling. She had no idea how he did that. Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he had all his emotions locked up so tight no one could reach them. In which case, she wouldn’t ever be able to.
If he could smile now, it meant he could feel nothing, and she really wasn’t ever going to be able to break those locks.
“What are your thoughts now that you’ve stayed here?”
“I think I’ll be making an offer,” Luc said. “It’s definitely the perfect place for a romantic getaway, and I think I have the ability to grow the resort.”
“That’s wonderful news.”
“I’ll submit my offer after Christmas,” Luc said. “For now, I need to get Amelia back to New York so she can spend time with her family.”
After making what felt to Amelia like very awkward goodbyes, they walked out. Their car was waiting for them, and as soon as she thought it was safe Amelia wrenched her hand from his and opened the car door, sat down inside and buckled up, refusing to look at him.
Luc rounded to the passenger side and got in, buckling up as the car pulled away from the hotel.
They rode in silence until the airport, where they exchanged short, necessary words about where the plane was and where the luggage should go.
Amelia managed to keep up the silence a couple of hours into the flight, her brain turning over the past twenty-four hours. Their kiss in the spa, making love with him for the first time, the fifth time. Realizing she loved him. Telling him she loved him.
It had changed her. She was utterly and completely changed and she was supposed to just go back to her life like it had been before.
No. That wasn’t happening. She was breaking up with Clint. And she was