The Best Of The Year - Modern Romance 2016. Кейт Хьюит
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she could not afford.
Her heart was still beating fast and she frantically wondered how she could carry on sounding normal when everything inside her felt so abnormal.
She need not have worried. Theo’s charm and the breadth of his knowledge proved irresistible.
She had, of course, travelled—but not nearly as extensively as he had, and he didn’t allow her to be introspective as they had breakfast in a noisy bagel café before jumping on the subway—something she had to persuade him into doing—so that they could explore Williamsburg.
At one point he grabbed her hand and continued holding it. She knew that it was just one of those throwaway gestures of his, but also knew that would be one more thing she would store in her memory bank, to be extracted for examination at a later date.
She couldn’t resist.
And she couldn’t resist when he pulled her towards him and casually dropped a kiss on her parted lips.
She couldn’t resist the way he took it for granted that her body belonged to him. Every passing touch was like the heavy brand of possession, but if he’d known the effect he had on her he would have been quailing at the thought of their year-long pretend union.
She hoped she’d kept everything on a light level, and by the time they’d headed back to the hotel and begun packing for their trip back to Italy she even managed to ask the question that had been uppermost in her mind for the past few hours.
‘Should we discuss how we...er...move forward now...?’
About to fling the last of his clothing into his suitcase, Theo paused and stared at her. Something was off, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
‘Come again?’
‘Well, the week is up,’ Alexa pointed out nervously. ‘And I know that was the time limit we both agreed for us to...er...get this thing between us out of our system...’
‘I don’t recall agreeing to any such thing,’ Theo pointed out.
She had come to him a virgin and yet now it seemed that she was keen to draw her experiences with him to a close. He clenched his jaw as it was brought home to him how little they had in common, aside from the obvious bond of their similar backgrounds, and how much, fundamentally, she still disapproved of him. He had the feeling that he’d been used, and it wasn’t a feeling that he liked.
His cell phone buzzed and a text message popped up, saying that their limo had arrived to take them to the airport.
She had certainly started a tricky conversation at the right point in time, he thought drily. Did she think that he would be too embarrassed to continue in the back of a taxi?
‘Taxi’s here,’ he said curtly.
He phoned through to Reception to ask for their bags to be taken down to the limo and then waited until they were inside the spacious car before he picked up their conversation.
‘Well...I know we didn’t exactly set a time and a date,’ Alexa said, when he lazily asked her to finish what she had started saying. ‘I mean, I do understand that it’s hard...impossible...’
‘To set a time and a date when it comes to lust?’ he interrupted smoothly. ‘You’re right. It is.’
‘But,’ she persisted valiantly, ‘I do think we need some kind of clarification here...’
‘Why?’
They did. He knew that. However, for some reason he had a perverse desire to dig his heels in. He wasn’t ready to give up what they had, and there was nothing worse than unfinished business, as far as he was concerned.
True, when it came to women that was pure conjecture, but he couldn’t see the point of self-denial and that was precisely the road she was trying to head down right now.
‘Because this marriage of ours isn’t going to be real,’ Alexa mumbled. ‘And if it’s a business arrangement—’
‘You can try.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘You can try to fight this thing between us, but you won’t be getting any help from me.’
‘What—what do you mean?’ Alexa stammered.
‘I mean that I’m not ready for this to end yet. And don’t forget—we may have had a little respite from the cameras but we’re heading back into the lions’ den, and with our engagement those pesky reporters are going to be snapping away to capture the happy couple. I just want you to know that when I kiss you it won’t be for the cameras...’
‘I’d forgotten about them,’ Alexa said in dismay.
He grinned wolfishly at her. ‘Don’t worry. It’ll soon come flooding back...’
‘So in other words,’ Alexa said tightly, ‘you want this to carry on until you get tired of it?’
‘In other words, I have no intention of fighting what’s between us.’
The taxi ride was completed in silence. Typically, Alexa thought, he had said what he had to say and then, rather than continue driving his point home, had dismissed the topic by spending the ride to the airport with his laptop open, sifting through dozens of emails and ignoring her completely.
He was just so damned sure of himself—just so convinced of his own monumental appeal that he didn’t envisage her standing a chance of saying no to him.
She despaired.
Would she be able to withstand an onslaught? Even though she knew that he was not in it for more than just sex? Even though she knew that she would end up being desperately hurt? That she would turn into one of those clingy, needy women he had no time for? The sort who never forgot him and staged scenes whenever their paths chanced to cross?
All her resentment and anger, her conviction that she could never in a thousand years fall for a guy like him, now seemed like naïve stupidity. She had been able to hate the one-dimensional cardboard cut-out, but the minute the three-dimensional man had emerged she had not been able to resist.
She’d turned into just another one of his conquests, and she shivered at the prospect of those lips touching hers and her knowing that she wanted more. She was terrified of being betrayed—not just by her own weak body, but by her emotions.
Her head buzzed with so many scenarios that she was barely aware of the flight. He left her to stew. In fact she was certain that he wasn’t even aware of her presence next to him. He was utterly absorbed in his work, and sex, however compelling, played second fiddle.
Only as they were taxiing on landing, and after having fitfully dozed for part of the trip, did she find other concerns settling—and the main one was whatever it might be that her father had to say to her.
All over again she felt anxiety begin to claw at her insides. Theo had calmed her fears by telling her that if her mother’s health was involved he would have known about it. Now, Alexa could see all the flaws in that argument. Why would her father advertise something like that to his dad? It was a personal problem and he would surely want to keep it to himself. The fact that his instincts had always been to protect her from anything unpleasant meant that whatever he wanted to say must be of grave concern. It must be something he couldn’t keep from her.
‘What if something’s really wrong with Mum?’ she couldn’t help asking as they disembarked.
She hated herself for appealing to Theo for reassurance, but she had had time to contemplate the worst and she needed to hear the strong conviction in his voice. It was irritating—especially considering she should be trying to erect whatever fragile defences she still had at her disposal to protect her pathetic, foolish heart—but she needed his logical explanation. Even though she had already convinced herself that it made no sense.
‘It won’t be.’
Theo had