The Best Of The Year - Modern Romance 2016. Кейт Хьюит
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there’s a positive side as well as a negative side,’ Poppy murmured.
‘Is there?’ Gaetano traded in stark disagreement. ‘We had a divorce planned.’
Poppy lost colour and screened her eyes. A nightmare? That had been a body blow but that his second comment on their situation should refer to their divorce was even tougher. But what had she expected from him? A bottle of champagne and whoops of satisfaction? It could have been a lot worse, she told herself urgently. Gaetano could have lost his temper. He could have tried to imply that the pregnancy was somehow more her fault than his. But then possibly he hadn’t reached that stage yet. After all, he was still pretty much stunned, studying her with brilliant dark eyes that had an unusually unfocused quality. We had a divorce planned. He had gone straight for the jugular.
‘But, obviously I couldn’t possibly leave you to raise my child alone,’ Gaetano completed without skipping a beat. ‘Looks like we’re staying together, bella mia.’
Poppy stiffened at his bleak intonation. ‘So, you’re suggesting that we should forget about getting a divorce now?’
‘What else would I suggest?’ Gaetano asked very drily. ‘You’re carrying the next generation of the Leonetti dynasty. Nobody expects you to do that alone, least of all me. Even though I had two parents they did a fairly rubbish job of raising me. To thrive, our child will need both of us and a stable home to grow up in.’
‘But it’s not what we planned,’ Poppy reminded him while anger simmered like a pot bubbling on the hob beneath her careful surface show of calm.
There was nothing to be gained from losing her temper, she told herself fiercely, but his practical approach was downright insulting. Yes, she agreed that ideally a child should have both parents and a steady home but at what cost? If the parents themselves made sacrifices that resulted in unhappiness how could that be good for anyone? Poppy did not want an unwilling husband and reluctant father by her side. That was not a cross she was prepared to bear for years knowing that it wouldn’t benefit anyone. If that was the best Gaetano had to offer, he could keep it and the wedding ring, she thought painfully. She wanted more, she needed more than a man who would only keep her as a wife because she had fallen pregnant.
‘We couldn’t possibly make a bigger mess of our marriage than my parents did,’ he pointed out wryly. ‘We can only try our best.’
‘As a goal, that just depresses me, Gaetano,’ Poppy admitted.
‘How? We’ll continue on as we are now but at least we won’t be living a lie for Rodolfo’s benefit any longer.’
‘No, you won’t need to live a lie any longer,’ Poppy agreed tightly as she walked towards the door.
‘Where are you going?’
Powered by a furious mix of anger and pain, Poppy ignored the question and stalked up the stairs to the next floor where the luggage was stored. From the room used for that purpose she grabbed up two cases.
From his stance on the landing, Gaetano stared at her in bewilderment. ‘What on earth are you doing?’
‘Your nightmare is leaving you!’ Poppy bit out squarely.
‘I did not call you a nightmare,’ Gaetano argued vehemently.
‘No, you called the baby I’m having a nightmare, which was worse,’ Poppy countered fiercely. ‘This baby may be unplanned and a big unexpected surprise but I love it already!’
‘Dio mio, Poppy!’ Gaetano exclaimed as she yanked garments out of the built-in closets in the dressing room, hangers falling in all directions. ‘Will you please calm down?’
‘Why would I calm down? I’m pregnant and my husband thinks it’s a nightmare!’
‘I didn’t mean it that way.’
‘And you seem to believe that I have no choice but to stay married to you. Well, here’s some news for you, Gaetano... I can have a baby and manage perfectly well without you!’ Poppy slung at him from between gritted teeth. ‘I don’t need you. I deserve more. I don’t intend to stay married to a guy who’s only with me because he thinks it’s his duty!’
‘That’s not what I said.’
‘That’s exactly what you said!’ Poppy slammed a case down on the bed and wrenched it open. ‘Well, this particular nightmare of yours is taking herself off. There’s got to be better options than you waiting for me.’
Standing very still, Gaetano lost colour and watched her intently. ‘There probably is. But I want very badly for you to stay.’
‘No, you don’t, not really,’ Poppy reasoned thinly. ‘You think our baby would be the icing on the cake for Rodolfo but you don’t want to be married and you don’t want to be a father.’
‘I do want to be married to you.’ Gaetano flung back his shoulders and studied her with strained dark eyes. ‘And I know that I can learn how to be a good father. I meant that the situation of being unprepared for a child was a nightmare. I’m not good with surprises but I can roll fast with the punches that come my way. And believe me, watching you pack to leave me is a hell of a punch.’
The firm resolution in that response surprised her. She paused to roughly fold up a dress before thrusting it into the case, sending an unimpressed glance at his lean, darkly handsome face. She wasn’t listening to him, she told herself urgently. She had made her decision. It was better for her to leave him with her head held high than to consider giving him another chance...wasn’t it?
‘Is it? Are you really capable of changing your outlook to that extent? Accepting being married without feeling that you’re somehow doing me a favour and settling for second best?’ she queried with scorn. ‘Accepting our child as the gift that a child is?’
‘I know that I was difficult when I married you.’ Gaetano compressed his lips on that startling admission. ‘I’m not easy-going but I am adaptable and I do learn from my mistakes. Dio mio, bella mia...my attitude to you has changed most of all.’
‘How?’ Poppy prompted, needing him to face up to the major decision he was trying to make for both of them. She didn’t want Gaetano deciding that they should stay married and then changing his mind again because he felt trapped by the restrictions. She had to know and understand exactly what he was thinking and feeling and expecting. How else could she make a decision?
His wide sensual mouth twisted. ‘I don’t want to discuss that.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because sometimes silence is golden and honesty can be the wrong way to go,’ he framed grudgingly. ‘And knowing my luck, I’ll say the wrong thing again.’
‘But you should be able to tell me anything. We shouldn’t have secrets between us. How has your attitude to me changed?’ Poppy persisted, curiosity and obstinacy combining to push her on.
Gaetano glanced heavenward for a brief moment and then drew in a ragged breath. ‘I asked you to pretend to be engaged to me because I thought you would be a huge embarrassment as a fiancée.’
Shock gripped Poppy in a debilitating wave only to be swiftly followed by a huge rush of hurt. ‘In what way?’
‘I was the posh bloke who made unjustified assumptions about you,’ Gaetano admitted, his deep voice raw-edged with regret. ‘I assumed you’d still be using a lot of bad language. I expected you to be totally lost and unable to cope in my world. In fact I believed that your eccentric fashion sense and everything about you would horrify Rodolfo and put him off the idea of me getting married, so that when the engagement broke down he would be relieved rather than disappointed...’
Gaetano had finished speaking but his every word still struck through the fog of Poppy’s shell-shocked state like lightning on a dark stormy night. She felt physically sick.
Gaetano had watched the blood drain from below her skin and fierce tension