CHAPTER ELEVEN

      “SO WE’VE BEEN seen by at least three of the biggest gossips in the place,” Josh said mildly, “which should ensure your mom knows you’re telling the truth about dating other people.” He broke off as a woman approached their table. “What can I do for you, Mrs. Cook?”

      “Sorry to bother you when you’re not on duty, Chief—” she nodded pointedly to Brenna “—I was wondering if you’re going to be running that women’s self-defense class again.”

      “You need to speak to Officer Marsh,” Josh said easily. “He keeps a waiting list. He’ll contact you when a new class is planned. Probably in the spring.”

      “And you don’t think I’m too old to join?”

      “No, ma’am.” Josh gave her a warm smile that had Mrs. Cook beaming in return.

      “Well, I’m sorry for disturbing you. You two have a nice evening now. And that dress is just perfect on you, Brenna. You look like a picture.” She walked away, bumped into a table and Brenna grinned.

      “Well, Chief. It seems you have yet another admirer. So you don’t drug them or use handcuffs, you just smile at them?”

      “If only it were that easy.”

      He was so patient, she thought. He had time for everyone. Tyler was unapologetically imperfect whereas Josh was perfect for her in every way, and she was being ridiculous. She was turning into someone who thought the grass was greener on the other side.

      If she carried on like this, she was going to die old and withered, regretting all the opportunities she’d missed and the things she hadn’t done.

      “Let’s go back to your place and have sex.” She blurted the words out and then gave a squeak of embarrassment. Oh, God, she shouldn’t have said it like that. She should have flirted or at least been more subtle about it. She should have kissed him and let things take their course. When Élise talked about it, she made it sound so normal and natural, but Brenna had never felt less natural in her life.

      Josh put his fork down slowly. “Now? Or do you want to wait until after dessert?”

      She didn’t know whether to laugh at herself or crawl under the table. “I didn’t mean it to come out like that. I’m sorry—”

      “For what?”

      “For—oh, I’m so bad at this. Why do I have to be so bad at this? Everyone else finds it so easy, and I want to die on the spot.” Mortified, she covered her face with her hands and then felt strong hands cover hers as Josh drew her fingers away from her eyes.

      “If you die on the spot, you’d leave me with a whole lot of paperwork I don’t need right now.”

      “You’re mocking me.”

      “Honey, I’m not mocking you, and it’s a hell of an offer but I think we probably need to talk about it some more.” He shook his head as their waiter approached. “Not now. Thanks.” He was firm, decisive and their waiter backed away, glancing nervously between the two of them.

      Imagining how that conversation would go down in the village store, Brenna felt her face burn up. “Did he hear me? I’m going to have to move back to Europe. I can’t believe I said that. I mean, I’d been thinking about it obviously, and—” She had no idea what to say or do, but Josh was smiling.

      “I can’t believe you said that, either. Want to tell me why?”

      “I think moving in with Tyler has driven me crazy.”

      “You thought it was time to cure yourself of Tyler and that I might be the cure.” The fact that he was so calm and reasonable made it worse.

      “I’m so sorry.”

      “Don’t be. I’m flattered you picked me.”

      “I do care about you.”

      “I know. I care about you, too, honey, which is why I’m still sitting here. If I weren’t an officer of the law, I might be tempted to handcuff Tyler and leave him attached to a tree until he’s had time to think through what he really wants.” His tone was mild but there was flint in his eyes.

      “It’s not his fault.” She put her head in her hands. “What is wrong with me? Other people have emotionless sex all the time.”

      “Thanks.”

      “Josh, I don’t mean—”

      “You can stop explaining. I’ve known you since you were four. There’s only ever been one man for you.”

      “And he doesn’t want me. And I have to stop this. I have to move on. I can’t believe we’re talking about this. I never talk about it.” She leaned back in her chair, despairing, her emotions so close to the surface she couldn’t hold them back. “What am I going to do, Josh?” And then she realized it wasn’t fair to ask him, because he was in the same position as her. “I feel so bad, because I know you have feelings for me.”

      “But they’re my feelings. I told you that already. Stop worrying about me, stop worrying about Tyler and start thinking about yourself. What do you want?”

      She didn’t even know anymore. “I need to be honest, but if I tell Tyler how I feel, he’ll freak.”

      “Maybe he wouldn’t. At least you’d know how things are. Isn’t it best to be sure?”

      She stared at her wineglass. “I’m scared of ruining everything.”

      “Scared?” Josh gave a faint smile. “Brenna Daniels, who once skied off the back of Baker’s Ridge in a white-out? You’re the bravest person I know.”

      “I’m not good at speaking up. Generally, I’d rather dig my head in the snow and hope that by the time it has melted, the problem will have gone away.”

      “This particular problem has been around for most of your life so I think it’s fair to assume it’s not going anywhere. Let’s get out of here.” Josh gestured to the waiter, and Brenna pulled out her purse.

      “I’m paying. First I propositioned you, and then I whined all over you. You shouldn’t have to pay on top of that.”

      “Give me a break, Brenna. If I don’t pay, it will be all over town, and Ellen Kelly