Wanted: A Real Family. Karen Rose Smith
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The inordinate silence when their awareness of each other took hold was enough to rattle her bones.
“Mommy, I’m sorry,” Amy wailed.
Sara knew she was making a mess of this whole thing. She wrapped her arm around her daughter. “It’s okay. We’ll wash Mr. Cramer’s shirt. We’ll fix this.”
Jase clasped her shoulder. “It’s okay. Relax. It’s just a shirt.”
He addressed Amy. “Sticky fingers and sweet rolls go together. Let me get that milk.” He rolled both of his sleeves up further to cover the jelly and grinned at Amy. “See? All fixed.”
He motioned for Sara to sit again. “You’re too jumpy. You need to take a walk through the vineyard and relax.” Then he must have realized he’d chided her and shook his head. “Sorry. I have no right to give you advice. I can’t imagine what losing your home was like.”
Then, to Sara’s astonishment, Jase went to the sink, ripped a paper towel from the roll under the counter, wet it and sat down with Amy. “Here, let’s get some of that jelly off. Your milk will slide through your fingers.”
“I’ll do that.” Sara reached for the towel in his hand. With instant clarity, she remembered some of the photos in the paper and online of Jase feeding little children who were malnourished, of him holding one Amy’s age in his arms.
His fingers covered hers as she took the towel. “You’ve got to relax,” he said again. “Everything is going to get better.”
His touch sent tingles through her. That was odd. After all, she’d treated him … she’d touched him when he was her patient. But as with all patients, she’d closed herself off against any personal feelings. She’d been married and she’d ignored vibrations coming from men who were anything more than just friendly. But now, today, it was like the floodgates had opened. Everything about Jase Cramer made her feel overly sensitized to him.
Sara had torn off a piece of her sweet roll and tasted it when Jase brought three tall glasses of milk to the table. Amy’s was only half-full, and again Sara appreciated his knowledge of kids.
Sara was watching Amy drink from the tall glass without spilling it when she heard footsteps outside the kitchen doorway.
Ethan Cramer entered the room. She recognized him from photos in the paper about him and Raintree Winery. Raintree Wines had won awards and Fawn Grove lauded their citizens who made good.
Having never met Ethan Cramer, Sara didn’t know what to expect, but she was sensitive to his expression of disapproval as his gaze fell on her and Amy. Jase and his father looked nothing alike.
Where Jase was all dark intensity, black hair and gray eyes, his father’s hair was blond and thinning. His blue eyes were sharp as he asked his son, “This is Ms. Stevens?”
“Yes, this is Sara and her daughter.”
“I’m sorry you lost your home,” Ethan said while studying her.
She didn’t know quite what to say to that. She didn’t know what was behind his words, but something was. Jase had told her his father was on board if she and Amy wanted to stay in the cottage, but now she wondered if that was really true.
“Jase invited us over for some sweet rolls while I decide if we want to stay in the cottage or not. It’s very kind of you to offer it.”
“Jase offered it, and I agreed it was the right thing to do. But as soon as you’re back on your feet, I expect you’ll find your own place again.”
“Father!”
“Mr. Cramer, if you’d rather we not use the cottage, I will find somewhere else.”
Jase, who had been looking more tense and even more frustrated, stepped in. “If it weren’t for Sara, I wouldn’t have recovered as fast as I did to help you here. I owe her a debt of gratitude.”
“Yes, I know you do,” Ethan said with a sigh, just looking weary now. “And when her stay here is over, we’ll consider your debt repaid.” Ethan focused on Sara. “Have you made a decision?”
Their circumstances seemed less than ideal, yet her options were limited as were her finances. She was fairly certain she and Amy could stay out of Ethan Cramer’s way. Amy would be at day care during the week and Sara would be working. In the evening, they could easily keep to themselves. Weekends they would be busy with errands and rebuilding their life. They had no reason to run into Ethan Cramer, or even Jase, for that matter. Sunshine, space to wander and a room of her own would be good for Amy. Sara would be foolish not to accept.
“Raintree Winery is a beautiful place. Amy needs a little bit of that right now until we can start sewing our lives back together. So we’d like to stay in the cottage for a while.”
Ethan gave a nod, then addressed Jase. “Don’t forget, you’re supposed to meet with Liam and me over at the winery at one. I want to discuss the new barrels.”
“I won’t forget.”
Jase’s voice was tight and Sara wondered if the tension she sensed between father and son was just about her and Amy staying here or if it went further back than that. Had Ethan wanted Jase to work here all along while Jase had wanted to photograph the world and wander? But now that Jase was back, didn’t Ethan Cramer have what he wanted?
With a nod, Ethan left the kitchen and closed the door behind him.
Amy had seemed unaware of the undercurrent. She was finishing her sweet roll with swigs of milk every once in a while, getting sticky icing all over her mouth and fingers again.
Sara crossed the room to the sink for another wet paper towel. Jase followed her and stood beside her.
“I don’t know what got into him,” Jase said.
“Is he usually so … frosty?”
“He’s always been remote and sometimes cold. I’ve accepted that.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Ethan Cramer isn’t my father. He’s my adoptive father.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“I don’t talk about it. The people who have lived in Fawn Grove all their lives know.”
“I moved here after I earned my master’s in PT.”
“Where did you grow up?”
“San Francisco. I went to college at Berkeley.”
“Is your family still there?”
“I lost my parents the day I graduated from college. They were in an accident on the way there.”
“Sara.” He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her toward him. “You’ve known too much loss.”
“Everyone has losses. Everyone misses their loved ones. I think, though, the missing’s always there and we have to figure out a way to put it in perspective. I did that by focusing on getting my master’s and helping wherever I could in my practice. But I needed a fresh start, so I went to a placement professional. She found me the position in Fawn Grove. I’ve been happy here.”
“Until this past year.”
Until before that, really, but Jase didn’t know that. His hands on her shoulders felt as if they belonged there. His close proximity led her to study his high cheekbones, his cleft chin, the scars along one temple that were white against his tan.
Suddenly Jase released her and leaned away. She saw something in his eyes and wondered if it had to do with his relationships with women … with the fiancée who’d deserted him when he was at his lowest.
For whatever reason, she was glad he’d backed away. She wasn’t