The Colton Bride. Carla Cassidy
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Chapter 3
Dreams of Gray haunted her sleep, erotic, hot dreams of the time when they were teenagers and meeting secretly in the stables after dark. She’d loved him since she was fifteen and he’d been sixteen, but he’d refused to make love to her for two years, although there had been plenty of snuggling and making out and almost lovemaking in those two years.
When they’d finally allowed themselves the pleasure of going all the way, Gray had been tender and so sweet and after that first time they had shared a passion for each other that had been explosive, magic and insatiable.
There had also been a lot of planning in those teenage years. They’d talked about owning a little ranch not far from here, having a couple of kids to raise and a lifetime of love and happiness together.
Catherine awakened and in that brief limbo between dreams and complete consciousness, her heart was filled with love for Gray. The scent of him lingered in her brain, reminding her of how it had felt to be held in his arms, how his lips had plied hers with such fire. In her vision his whiskey-brown eyes gazed at her with such want, such need, it burned deep inside her soul.
Then full awake slammed into her and the fantasy shattered into a million pieces, leaving her heart aching and empty. She clutched her pillow to her chest and lingered for a few minutes, the dream still far too fresh in her head.
Oh, what fantasies they had spun so many years ago and then one morning she’d gotten up and discovered he was gone. She now released her hold on the pillow and got out of bed. And he’d remain gone from her heart, she told herself as she headed into the adjoining bathroom for her morning shower.
He had some nerve, anyway, acting like he was concerned about her, acting like he cared about her safety. After four years of pretending she didn’t even exist, he had no right to be concerned about her now.
She shoved all thoughts of Gray Stark from her head as she stepped beneath the water in the large glass enclosure. She had other things to think about...like the pregnancy test she’d taken that had given her a positive result.
She needed to see a doctor and get confirmation of the test. There were prenatal vitamins to take, instructions to listen to and things to learn. She wanted to do everything she could to ensure that she carried a healthy baby and once she or he was born she’d make sure she was the best mother she could be.
There was really no role model for her to follow. Her own mother had left Jethro and the three girls when they were young and she hadn’t been much of a mother before she’d deserted them. Catherine had never seen her mother again and had little interest in ever reconnecting with her.
Catherine didn’t really know what it was like to have a mother, but she certainly knew what it was like not to have one.
All the things she had longed for as a little girl, as an insecure teenager would be gifted to her own child. Her child would never spend a second wondering if he or she was wanted and loved.
She’d spent far too much of her life wondering that very fact. Her mother had run out on her. Gray’s abandonment in her teens hadn’t helped her insecurities, and Dirk’s desire to marry her only for her inheritance had just been the icing on the cake.
Catherine had what she wanted, a baby growing inside her, and she didn’t need a man to complete her. She could do this all just fine by herself. As she toweled off she realized that the pregnancy had made her decide that she had no intention of ever bringing a man into her life again.
She’d never have to wonder if she was loved for herself or for her enormous inheritance that she’d receive in four years. She never had to go through the dating game again. Love just wasn’t in her cards, except the love of her child. And that was more than enough to make her happy for the rest of her life.
By the time she left the bathroom dressed for the day, the young maid Allison Murray was in her room, tidying up and making the bed. “Good morning, Miss Catherine,” she said with her usual bright, cheerful smile.
“Good morning, Allison. How are the weekend classes coming along?”
“Great,” Allison replied as she fluffed a pillow. “My economics teacher told me I have a natural knack for numbers.” She laughed, her green eyes sparkling. “Who would have thought?”
“I think it’s wonderful that you’re pursuing your education,” Catherine said to the pretty young woman.
Allison cast her a sly glance. “And I think it’s wonderful that you’re pregnant. Have you been to the doctor yet?”
“Not yet. I just found out by taking one of those home pregnancy tests.” Catherine sank down in her favorite chair while Allison finished plumping all the pillows on the bed.
“You should get yourself to a doctor. I’ve heard that sometimes those home pregnancy tests can give you a false positive,” she said.
“I’ll check in with a doctor as soon as possible,” Catherine replied, although she knew the test was right. Even though it was far too early for her to feel anything or for her belly to show any signs of the life inside, Catherine knew with certainty it was there. She felt it in her heart, in her very soul.
She visited with the woman for a few more minutes and then when Allison went into the bathroom to clean up, Catherine headed for the dining room. She was later than usual and was grateful to find herself alone except for Amanda, who was at the table lingering over a cup of coffee.
“Hey, Cath.” She greeted Catherine with a smile and gestured to the chair next to her. “You missed the usual breakfast fracas. Darla spent most of the conversation whining that she wanted their suite redecorated and I swear Trip had already been drinking.”
“Gee, sorry I missed the fun,” Catherine replied dryly. “I was wondering if you could get me in to see your OB/GYN doctor in Laramie.”
“Dr. Kendall? You’ll love her, and if I give her a call right now I’ll bet she could work you in before the end of the day.”
Catherine laughed. “I don’t think it’s necessary to move that fast.”
“That baby of yours is going to be Cheyenne’s first cousin, her first real playmate. There’s no time like the present to get you in to the doctor and on a regimen of healthy eating and vitamins.”
At that moment head cook Agnes Barlow stepped into the room, her short red hair an indication of her fiery disposition with the kitchen staff. “Miss Catherine, would you like something for breakfast?” she asked. There was no hint of warmth or welcome in her voice. She was all work and no-nonsense.
“Thank you, Agnes, maybe just a glass of orange juice and a piece of toast,” Catherine said.
“Are you having morning sickness?” Amanda asked.
“No, nothing like that. I’m just not that hungry this morning.”
By the time Catherine had finished her glass of juice and toast, Amanda had set her up with a four-thirty appointment with Dr. Victoria Kendall.
The sisters parted then, Amanda heading toward the nursery to check in on Cheyenne and Catherine leaving the house for the petting barn to take care of the morning chores.
She could have hired somebody to do the caretaking of the animals for her, but Catherine didn’t mind getting her hands dirty and the work out there gave her a sense of purpose that she needed in her life.
She left the house for the walk to the barn and although she saw several ranch hands out in the pastures, thankfully she didn’t see Gray.
With her dreams of him still so fresh in her mind, she wasn’t ready to see him anytime soon. It was bad enough that she couldn’t get the scent of him out of her head and that he’d invaded her sleep all night long.
He’d stood so close to her when he’d encountered her outside of her father’s suite that she’d been able to feel his body heat radiating toward her, smelled the