Snowstorm Confessions. Rachel Lee
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When she reached his hips and was about to move the blanket, his good hand reached out with a speed that surprised her.
“No. Not there.”
“I’m a nurse,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound as weak as she suddenly felt.
“No,” he repeated.
She couldn’t help feeling relieved. Honestly, she didn’t know if she could manage to handle his privates with anything approaching proper detachment. But she remembered them, remembered all too well. He was perfectly built in every respect, at least as far as she was concerned. And for a few seconds as she stood there, she realized she wanted nothing more than to touch him intimately again, to caress him and draw groans from his lips. She needed to get a grip. Quickly.
Apparently even in his present state, memory was bedeviling him as much as it was her. He’d never been shy about his body, and if it had been anyone else proposing to wash him, he probably wouldn’t have objected.
Maybe more than one thing wasn’t completely dead yet.
After that, though, things went faster. She made up one side of the bed with a fresh sheet, rolled him over and finished the job while he lay on the freshly made side. Man, it had been a while since she had needed to do this. Usually the LPNs handled it.
But at last he was clean and in a fresh gown. “Bathroom?” she asked.
“Nah, just give me that bottle thing.”
“Call if you need help.” She practically fled. Time to regroup, she told herself as she waited in the kitchen. Time to build up the time and distance he’d erased so effectively. Time to remind herself of all her good reasons for not reacting to him. Time to figure out how she was going to handle this until he could be transported.
Because somehow she had to. Sometimes the hardest part of life was just dealing. The curveballs seemed to keep coming.
* * *
Trent stopped by every evening for a quick look at Luke and three days later pronounced himself very satisfied. “The recovery is really going well,” he said. “I don’t see any new swelling since you left the hospital, Luke, and there’s no sign of infection. At this rate we’ll take you back for X-rays in a few days, and maybe we can get you into a walking cast.”
“That would be great,” Luke said. “I hate being stuck in bed.”
“Well, the good news is, I’m going to allow you to spend some time in the wheelchair now with your leg up. It’ll give you some mobility.”
“Maybe even the front porch,” Bri said. “We’re starting to get warmer at last.”
“I’d continue elevating his leg overnight, but unless you detect some new swelling, he can sit up as much as he wants.” He turned to Luke. “Just don’t tire yourself too much. You’ve still got a lot of mending to do, including inside your head. So don’t push it.”
Bri listened to this, wondering if Luke would follow instructions or just push himself to the brink over and over. She was surprised he hadn’t grown so frustrated with his confinement that he swamped her in it. In fact, when all was said and done, he’d been amazingly cooperative so far.
“What about bending my leg again?” Luke asked.
“The break above your knee was minor. Depending on how the X-rays look we may be able to give you back the use of your knee. No promises, but if we can, we will.”
“God,” Luke said after Trent left, “that would be a relief.”
“What?”
“Bending my leg again. Right now it just juts out there and even getting to the bathroom is a major hassle. Nothing moves right.”
She turned to look at him at last and found him making a funny face. Despite her best intention to remain distant, she had to laugh.
“That’s better,” he said, surprising her. “The freeze around here has been amazing. It’s a wonder I don’t have frostbite.”
She couldn’t protest that he was wrong. She had been pretty much hiding out in the kitchen, appearing only when she had to act the role of nurse. Maybe it wasn’t exactly friendly of her, but she didn’t need to be friendly. Those days were gone and she didn’t want to risk letting them back in. She’d already discovered that three years hadn’t banished old yearnings and old pains, at least not entirely. Spending a lot of time with him would be folly.
So she pretended she was at work, looking in on him as often as necessary, seeing to his essential needs, but definitely not sitting around and entertaining him.
Now his pain meds had been reduced, and she doubted he was going to continue to be such a compliant patient. In fact, she was sure his boredom would start becoming a problem. Maybe having Jan take over for her would be salvation, much as she didn’t want Jan to have free run of her house. She liked the woman well enough, but at some level had never entirely trusted her. Among other things, she was an unkind gossip. Not the sort of person you wanted to share anything intimate with.
On the other hand... Well, on the other hand it turned out she didn’t have to worry about Jan. She needed to worry about herself. The nursing supervisor called to say that she was putting Bri on family leave for the next week.
“But why, Mary?”
“Think about it,” Mary said frankly. “I hear he’s your ex. Do you really want some of the nurses here running over there to cover for you and hunting for juicy details?”
Bri knew exactly who Mary meant. Much as she wanted to escape Luke for a few hours and get back on her normal routine, she couldn’t deny Mary’s point.
“I know this must be hard on you,” Mary said. “But it could be harder, if you think about it. So tough it out, Bri. Maybe once the guy’s brain is less addled he’ll figure out a way to get himself to a convalescent facility.”
After she hung up the phone, she sat at the table wondering how everything had just spun her life out of control and what she was going to do about it. Transport was expensive, and even though Luke was well paid, hiring an ambulance to drive him a couple hundred miles... Well, nobody short of a billionaire would want to do that. The cost of getting a facility to come pick him up would probably be nearly as much.
Nothing like being in the boonies, she thought for the umpteenth time since the accident. Most people had family around here who could do this part, but Luke had no one but her.
Which left her the reluctant nurse. Dang.
In that instant a whole lot seemed to crash down on her. Feelings she’d been deliberately avoiding since Luke had come back into her life. Feelings about him being right there and spending most of her time trying to ignore him. Feelings out of the distant past.
And again and again the memory of how many times he’d said he’d lost her. Did he really feel that way?
She wanted to pack a bag and just run. A tsunami seemed to be headed right at her, and she wondered if she would survive it. Old wounds reopening. Old arguments rebuilding. New problems. Changes.
How long could she keep a lid on it before something snapped?
“Bri?”
The sound of him calling her name pierced her heart. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want that ever again.
* * *
Jack hadn’t seen much of Bri since the accident, except when she ran out for a short time to get more milk shakes or things from the grocery. It made him uneasy. He needed to know what was going on.
He’d thought giving the Luke guy that shove would have settled the matter one way or another. Either he’d die or be transported to a hospital far away.
Instead he’d landed right in Bri’s house. Did she care that much for him still?
He had