Once Forbidden.... Carla Cassidy
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allowed the hot air to embrace her.
Jerrod, a minister. How on earth had the man who she’d once believed had probably invented sin become a man of God? It simply didn’t compute.
“I thought I might find you here.”
She stiffened but didn’t move, refused to turn around to face him.
“You always loved it up here.”
She sensed his approach, knew when he stood just behind her, for his familiar, masculine fragrance seemed to wrap itself around her. “I still love it up here,” she said. “I’ve always considered this my own little piece of the world, and at the moment I consider you a trespasser.”
He was silent for a moment, then said, “I was once invited into your little piece of the world.”
“That was a long time ago.” She turned to face him. He’d shed his robe and now wore a pair of worn jeans and a white T-shirt that emphasized his bronzed skin and the sharp blue of his eyes.
“Yeah, it was a long time ago,” he agreed easily, and moved to stand next to her.
For a long moment they stood side by side, staring out over the ledge. Although she didn’t want to talk to him, she couldn’t help the curiosity that surged up inside her. When he had left Inferno, where had he gone? What had prompted him to become a minister? How had he made it through college?
“I guess congratulations are in order,” she finally said. “You’ve come a long way.”
“For trailer trash, I’ve done all right.”
Heat that had nothing to do with the outside temperature warmed her face as she remembered the hurtful words she’d flung at him the last time she’d seen him.
But she would not apologize. Instead, she sighed wearily. “Why did you follow me up here, Jerrod? What do you want from me?”
“Because I needed to talk to you, because I want you to reconsider your decision about Erin.”
She looked at him once again. “I can’t imagine why she would want me to represent her.”
“I can tell you why.” Again his gaze bore steadily into hers. “She told me if she can make you see she’s innocent, then she feels like she can convince everyone. She also knows you aren’t part of the good-old-boy network and that you’re a true advocate for your clients.”
“I’m glad she has such a fine opinion of me, but that doesn’t change my mind.”
“I would think that you’d jump at the opportunity to defend an innocent woman in a murder case. It’s what you talked about years ago when we’d sit up here and talk about our futures.”
But not Erin McCall. Her heart rebelled at the thought. Anyone but Erin, she thought. “She can probably afford any lawyer in the state.”
“She wants you.” He paused a moment and raked a hand through his thick dark hair. The gesture was instantly familiar as she remembered he’d always done that when battling frustration. “Is this about what happened nine years ago? Johnna, please don’t punish Erin for my mistakes.”
She looked away from him, hoping he couldn’t see how his words arrowed right to the heart of the matter. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed. “I got over what happened between us a long time ago.” She looked back at him and asked dryly, “Did you really believe that somehow I’d spent the last nine years holding a grudge and mourning?”
“No, but I thought perhaps there might have been times when you thought of me. I know there were times when I thought of you.”
His words seemed to burrow deep inside her and find the small place that held all her pain. Damn him. Damn him for coming back here.
“Look, I’ll talk to Erin,” she said. “Okay?” She just wanted Jerrod to leave, to go away and leave her alone. “I’ll make an appointment and meet with her first thing tomorrow morning. Understand, I’m not making any promises. I’m just agreeing to talk to her.”
“I appreciate it, Johnna.”
“Good, then our business is concluded and I’d like some time alone, if you don’t mind.” She turned back to stare down into the streets.
She relaxed only when she heard his footsteps receding, then the soft closing of the door that led off the roof. She’d lied. She had held a grudge for the past nine years. She’d never completely gotten over Jerrod’s betrayal.
She still mourned the loss of the dreams and fantasies they’d spun together in the blissful optimism of youth. There were moments in the long dark nights when she ached for the feel of his strong arms around her, his mouth pressed firmly to hers.
But she knew her loss had made her strong. Just like her painful childhood with her miserable father had made her strong. She neither wanted nor needed any man in her life. She was best alone…and alone was exactly how she intended to stay.
Jerrod might have forgiven himself for what he’d done to her years ago. God might have even forgiven him. But that didn’t mean she intended to. There were some things that were simply unforgivable.
Jerrod sat in the tiny lobby area of the Inferno police station, waiting for Johnna to show up for her 9 a.m. appointment with Erin Kramer.
“Sure you don’t want a cup of coffee?” Sheriff Jeffrey Broder asked from his desk in the corner.
“No, thanks, I’m fine,” Jerrod replied. He shifted positions on the wooden chair, his thoughts drifting back to his conversation with Johnna the evening before.
For trailer trash, I’ve done all right. He winced as he remembered saying the words. He’d sounded childish and petulant even to his own ears.
He’d believed he’d long ago worked through the baggage of that childhood label. But never had that name hurt more than when it had fallen from Johnna’s lips so many years ago. They had been words that had destroyed his illusions of her, of his place in this town, but most of all, they had destroyed the illusions he had of himself.
But he was no longer the rebellious trash that had blown out of town with a chip on his shoulder and rage burning in his soul. He was now a man at peace.
He’d found his true vocation and had gotten a college degree. At the moment, however, more than anything he was a man who didn’t want to see a dear childhood friend spend the rest of her life in prison for a crime he truly believed she wouldn’t, couldn’t commit.
He stood as Johnna swept in. He could tell by the narrowing of her eyes that she was not particularly happy to see him. Clad in a pair of tight jeans that emphasized her long, slender legs, and a biscuit-colored blouse that accentuated her dark hair and tanned face, she looked lovely, but tense.
“What are you doing here?” she asked with more than a little edge to her voice.
“I thought maybe I could help.”
“I don’t need help. I haven’t even agreed to do anything other than speak to her.” She nodded to Sheriff Broder. “Hi, Jeffrey.”
“Johnna,” he said as he rose from his desk. “Erin is our only prisoner at the moment, but I figured you’d be more comfortable in the conference room.”
“Thanks, Jeffrey. The conference room will be fine.” She looked back at Jerrod, her eyes an impenetrable smoke gray. “You’re here. I suppose you might as well come on back with me.” The invitation was not given graciously, but rather grudgingly.
Broder led them through the doors that led to the back of the police station and into a small conference room with a locked steel door. He opened the door and gestured them in. “I’ll be right back with Erin,” he said.
The door slammed shut behind him with a sickening thud that was all too familiar to Jerrod. He’d spent more than one night in the Inferno jail.
“I