The Texan's Christmas. Tanya Michaels
Читать онлайн книгу.
of her own volition.
Nicole dropped into a chair, amazed she could be this tired so early in the day. There had been points in her career when she’d worked until ten o’clock at night without even realizing it. Now she felt as if she needed a nap by two in the afternoon. The half dozen pregnancy books loaded onto her e-reader said exhaustion was normal in the first trimester and often passed. Still, she’d feel better if she could get that confirmed from someone who’d been through it recently. She desperately wanted to confide in Lizzie, but it would be wrong to tell her before Adele, who’d known Nicole for so much longer and given her so many opportunities.
“Did you see Chris and Lizzie?” Adele sat forward in her chair, showing her eagerness for any scrap of information about her daughter.
“I did. They invited me to their house, but we cut lunch short. Your granddaughter is even more beautiful in person than in the pictures Chris emailed me.” There’d been a moment when Nicole first arrived, before the crying started, when Natalie had looked so angelic that tears had pricked Nicole’s eyes. “She also has a healthy set of lungs on her. Her resistance to falling asleep made conversation difficult, so we rescheduled for Sunday. But, Adele, I’m afraid Sunday could get a little tricky.”
“How do you mean?”
“Lizzie said she had questions for me, but she didn’t know how to ask because she knows I’m loyal to my employer. To you. She looked...shaken up. And she’s not someone who rattles easily. I think she and Carly and the others may have figured out that you’re their mother.”
So many emotions flashed across Adele’s face that it was almost dizzying to watch. Joy and terror and disbelief and hope. “I don’t know what to say.” She hugged her arms around herself. “I suppose I always knew it was a possibility, but as the years passed, it seemed less and less likely. I wasn’t sure that, after what I did, they’d care enough to look.”
Had they gone searching for their mom, or had it been more of an accidental discovery? Considering Adele’s name change, the latter seemed unlikely.
“You know you’re one of the most important people in my life,” Nicole said, “professionally and personally. But I care about Chris and Lizzie, too. I don’t want to lie to them.” Last spring, she’d respected Adele’s wishes, surreptitiously gathering information to assure Adele her kids were thriving, because she hadn’t seen the point in upsetting a pregnant Lizzie with news of a mother who was wasting away from cancer. But circumstances were different now.
“You want to tell them who I am on Sunday. Or, if you’re right about them knowing, confirm it?”
“That’s one option. The other is that perhaps you could get in touch with them yourself before then,” Nicole said gently.
“Oh, I don’t know. I...” It took her a few seconds to compose herself enough to continue speaking. “You described Lizzie as ‘shaken up.’ Not hopeful or wistful. She may not want to hear from me. And could you blame her? Walking away from those kids was a terrible, terrible thing.”
“You had extreme postpartum depression,” Nicole said. “You weren’t entirely in your right mind.”
“Which is why I met with their father later and asked for visitation rights.”
Which he’d ruthlessly denied. Brock was a powerful, unyielding man with enough money to fund a team of lawyers. Instead of drawing her children into an ugly legal battle, Adele had left them in peace to bond with their new stepmother.
“I didn’t fight hard enough for them,” Adele said, her voice low and full of shame. “I could have reached out to them once they were no longer minors, but...how could I face them after all that time? How can I face them now?”
“For what it’s worth,” Nicole said, “if my own mom tracked me down, I’d want to see her. I’d like to think I’ve forgiven her for doing what she thought was in my best interest.”
Gina Marie Bennett, a pregnant teenager, had angered her parents by not putting her baby up for adoption. As soon as she turned eighteen, they kicked her and Nicole out of the house. Two years later, burdened with a drug problem and a malnourished toddler, Gina Marie had sought refuge in a church during a devastating thunderstorm. For a decade, Nicole had bounced between foster care and an intermittently sober Gina Marie.
Her mother hadn’t shown up for a scheduled visit on Nicole’s fourteenth birthday. Nicole had held out hope that her mother would eventually return, that they could be a family. But she’d never seen her mom again. When Nicole was sixteen and living in a different home, she received a forwarded Christmas card with no return address. In it, her mother had written that her beautiful daughter deserved a better life than a druggie could provide. Gina Marie had loved her enough to get rid of her, but not enough to stay clean for her.
Now, looking at Adele, Nicole’s eyes misted. What a pair we are. One woman who had been dumped by her mom and another who’d walked away from her kids. It didn’t take a psychology degree to see how they’d helped fill certain holes in each other’s life. But maybe Adele didn’t have to settle for a stand-in daughter. Her biological children had never been more in reach.
“If nothing else, you should tell them you’re sorry,” Nicole added. “It would be good for them and for you.”
Adele bit her lip, unconvinced. “I don’t want to clear my own conscience at the expense of upsetting them. I know I’ve already asked far more of you than is appropriate, but can you do me one more favor? When you see them on Sunday, let them know I’m in Dallas, that I’d give anything to see them. But the choice is theirs. If they prefer, I can fade away like I was never here.”
Nicole had been Adele’s emissary in hundreds of professional situations. She had mixed feelings about serving that role in this capacity, but if there was any chance she could help reunite a family...
“Okay.” She prayed that she was right about Lizzie and the others wanting a second chance with their mother. If not, Adele would be crushed.
Meanwhile, since Nicole was being so vocal about her friend coming clean and sharing her secrets, maybe it was only fair she take her own advice. “Just so you know, there’s one other thing I want to discuss with Lizzie on Sunday. But I can’t imagine telling her—or anyone else—before first telling you. I’m...”
The word was momentous. She paused, struck anew by the magnitude of her choice. Happiness spread through her, a buzz of warmth and excitement. “I’m pregnant.”
Adele’s eyes widened. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.
“So, I guess it’s safe to say you weren’t expecting that?” Nicole’s queasiness and unusual lack of energy would have eventually given her away, but since she’d been in Dallas for only a day, there hadn’t been enough opportunity for Adele to notice yet.
“N-no, definitely not! I have to admit, I’ve worried at times that taking such good care of me didn’t leave you any room for dating. I—”
“The only ‘date’ involved in conceiving this baby was the cozy night I spent sitting by the fireplace and reading donor files. Well, and the day I had the procedure done, of course.”
“Procedure? You were artificially inseminated?” Adele’s shock didn’t seem to be abating.
“Why not?” Was there a touch of defensiveness in her tone? She dropped a hand to her still-flat abdomen. “I don’t know what the future has in store for me, but I know I’m ready to be a mom. Guy or no guy in my life, I want this.” Unlike Nicole’s younger self, this baby would never, ever feel unwanted. He or she would be completely secure in Nicole’s love. “Be happy for me?”
“Of course I am, dear!” The confusion and surprise in Adele’s expression faded. “You’re going to make a wonderful mom. And if there’s anything I can do to help along the way, to repay you for—”
“There’s nothing that needs repaying,”