Tongue-tied. Colleen Collins
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too. Hurt darkened her eyes, clouding them over like a distant storm. Joy lightened them to a sparkling green, like sunlight on the sea. A hundred thoughts, emotions would be racing through her, and she’d think keeping her mouth shut meant no one knew.
He knew.
But back then, it was easier to stay focused on her eyes. Now it was damn hard.
The gangly legs had turned shapely. Like the rest of her. She had one of those curvaceous figures that reminded him of early twentieth-century illustrations by Charles Gibson where women were round and pink and womanly. Back in the diner, he’d liked how she felt, how her body pressed against his. Liked even better how she kissed.
He still wasn’t certain at what moment he’d been fully aware this hot encounter was with the Robin Lee he’d known. Maybe when he’d caught a determined glint in her eyes, and he’d flashed on a similar look in a girl’s eyes back home….
But those thoughts had melted when the kissing heated up. And what a kiss. Hot, intense, full of surprises. One moment she was nibbling and suckling his lip, the next she was doing that squeaking thing with her feet as though one part of her body had decided to dance while the rest of her made love to him. And he’d gone along, at first a bit stunned, then warming up until he was gorging on the sensations, like a starved man sitting down to a feast. An indulgence he never experienced in his logical, business-centered life.
Then afterward, when they’d disentangled themselves, and she stumbled over the word “coffee,” the pieces of her personality fell together. Had to be Robin Lee, the kid sister of his childhood pal. But just now, when she’d whispered his name—a soft, awe-filled “Johnny”—that’s when he knew for certain. He’d heard that same awe-inspired tone from her as a girl. He’d thought it was endearing back then. Now it was downright intoxicating.
Curious as to what lay behind her unique assertiveness-training techniques, he’d hung outside, waiting for her to leave. But now, he realized he’d waited outside for another reason. Knowing it was Robin was like reacquainting himself with his past, a time when life was purer. Not necessarily easier, but purer. Less complicated, more understandable. The life he often wished he could step back into again, even while knowing it was too late.
“I—I’m sorry,” Robin whispered.
He paused. “Because you kissed me?” He’d leave out the pie-dipped fingers and the writhing on the table.
She nodded.
He waited. Although it appeared she was bursting to speak, she remained silent. He knew she could be chatty as all get-out—he’d seen it many times with her family. But outside her home she clammed up. If only there was more light, he could read the thoughts and emotions in her expressive eyes.
“I don’t regret you kissing me,” he said gently. He could have said more. Confessed that no woman had kissed him the way Robin had tonight—a kiss tendered with the years of a heart-struck kid turned woman. A kiss that tasted like something sweet turned mouthwatering delectable. And he thought he’d experienced every possible kiss available. Especially after Denver’s slick 5280 magazine had nominated him one of the top ten “Most Eligible Bachelors of the Year” two years running, Johnny had had his share of lip-locks. He could almost categorize them. There were the “Good night, will I see you again?” kisses, the “I promise you a good time” kisses, even the “I want to get married” kisses.
But none compared to being blindsided by Robin’s sizzlingly sweet, hitched-up-on-the-table, I’m-gonna-take-you kiss. Hell, she was a category unto herself.
But it didn’t take an idiot to see that this thunder-struck woman was obviously chastising herself for her spontaneous whatever-it-was moment back there in the diner. She’d surprised him, but he was a master at playing people and situations—and this one he’d play with a sense of humor. Get her to lighten up a little.
“You always serve customers like that?” he teased.
She shook her head rapidly back and forth. A wisp of her blond hair fell across her eye, which she shakily brushed back.
Okay, cool it with the lightening-up approach. Robin Lee had been a stutterer, and from what little she’d said to him tonight, she still struggled with talking.
But damn talented with words. The written ones, anyway. It was as though all that creativity flowed from her soul down to her fingertips as she wrote her essays and short stories. And for one of those she’d won a prize at school. He remembered the day well—she’d been twelve, he eighteen. Johnny had cut classes to hunt for his kid brother Frankie who was fast believing that the solution to poverty was to shoplift and hot-wire cars.
Only instead of finding Frankie, Johnny had found Robin dawdling in a park. It had taken some coaxing, but she’d finally admitted she was playing hooky so she wouldn’t have to accept a writing award. After Johnny bought her a chocolate shake at a local pharmacy, she admitted she desperately wanted the award, but she didn’t want to accept it in front of an auditorium filled with people because she’d have to say something—and what if she stuttered?
So Johnny had made a pact with her. He’d be there, front row, and all she had to do was look at him and say “thank you” into the microphone. And that afternoon, he’d shown up as promised, and watched as a proud and happy Robin stepped up to the podium, accepted the plaque and while leaning into the microphone and looking directly into his eyes, whispered, “Thank you.”
All these years later, he felt as though she were looking at him again with that mix of shyness and steely determination. Only this time instead of the child, he was returning the gaze of a woman.
Shifting his stance, more to hide his body’s obvious reaction to her, he checked out the parking lot. It was empty except for a dilapidated green pickup with a broken driver’s-side mirror. “I’ll see you to your truck.”
She shook her head. “I—I’m walking.”
He looked up and down the street. Except for a bar a block away, this diner was the sole business with its lights still on. The other buildings were apartment complexes, duplexes, an occasional one-story home. And all had bars on their windows and doors. “Walking in this area of town, at this hour? Are you crazy?”
They stared at each other for a long moment, broken by an apologetic, pixielike smile that finally broke on Robin’s face. She shrugged and nodded in the affirmative. “M-my car’s…” She blinked slowly, not wanting to start a conversation. She never knew when she’d stutter, and considering she was stumbling through words already, she’d just stop here.
He gave her such a look of understanding, she smiled in relief.No words are necessary.
“Then I’m walking with you. I took the light-rail, so I don’t have my car.” Whenever he felt burdened or troubled, he liked to try and recapture how it used to be, years ago, when life was simpler.
Plus, tonight he hadn’t wanted to stay home because Penny would call and call, just as she did every time she dumped him. Only this time he’d told her she was right, no use in their staying together because he didn’t want to tie the knot. But as usual, she hadn’t liked his response. Even when he’d explained,again, that he wasn’t the marrying kind because marriage meant trouble. Like the kind he’d grown up with—an alcoholic father, a delinquent brother and a home filled with the kind of furniture most people threw out.
So rather than answer the phone, and rehash the marriage thing all over again, he’d done what he always did when life crowded him—he returned to his past. Or tried to. He’d left the Jaguar at home and jumped on public transportation, hopping off at some coffee shop or diner where he could blend into the crowd as Johnny Dayton, a person he used to be.
And it’d been years since anyone or anything had reinforced that person…until tonight. Until Robin had whispered “Johnny.” Hearing his old name had felt sweet, but painful. Like a knife plunging into him. Slicing deep, but not finding the man she thought he was.
And yet,she believed him to be that man….