The Widow's Little Secret. Judith Stacy
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course, it would be much easier to think if he weren’t standing only a foot away with no shirt on.
Dark, crinkly hair covered his chest and arrowed down his muscled stomach, disappearing into his trousers. His arms bulged as he shifted his wide shoulders.
The sleeves of his long johns and his suspenders hung at his sides; the top button of his trousers was unfastened.
“Change your mind about getting married?” he asked.
The question shocked her back to reality. “No, of course not. I need to talk to you.”
Jared stepped into the room and turned a cane bottom chair toward her. “Sit down,” he said.
A tingle swept up her spine. This was his bedroom. She couldn’t waltz inside and sit down. It wasn’t decent.
“You’ve been on your feet all evening. Sit down.” When she still hesitated, Jared gestured toward the bunk in the corner. “Unless you’d rather hop into bed?”
Mattie jerked her chin at him and plopped into the chair. He shoved the pistol into the holster that dangled from a row of pegs on the wall. His shirt hung beside it. He’d probably been getting ready for bed when she walked in. Her gaze bounced to the tidy bunk, then to Jared. He was already watching her. Mattie’s cheeks burned. She busied herself straightening her skirt, refusing to look at him again.
“How are you feeling?” Jared asked.
“Fine.”
He stopped in the center of the floor and sighed heavily. “How are you really feeling?”
She wasn’t sure if the frown on his face meant he was angry or genuinely concerned. “Tired. A little tired.”
“Did you eat a proper supper?”
She huffed. “That’s really none of your concern.”
His chest swelled and his frown deepened. “Did you eat a proper supper?”
“Yes,” she told him. No sense in annoying him further, given the reason she was here tonight.
Jared nodded, apparently satisfied, then shoved his arms into his long johns and pulled them over his shoulders.
“What do you need to talk about?” he asked.
How odd, sitting in a chair in Jared’s bedroom, watching him dress. Mattie couldn’t recall any such moment with her husband.
Obviously, Jared thought nothing of her being there. He buttoned his long johns and slipped on his shirt, completely comfortable with her presence.
His long fingers fastened the shirt, then dipped into his trousers, tucking the tail inside. Mattie sat mesmerized by the simple action, the intimate details he shared so casually.
“Mattie?”
“Oh.” She shifted on the chair. “I have to know if you’ll keep my secret.”
“You mean about the baby really being mine?”
“You can’t be serious about telling everyone the truth. Can you imagine the scandal?”
“You’d rather live a lie than be gossiped about?”
Mattie rose from the chair. “I don’t care so much for myself. I’m worried about the baby. This will throw a shadow over his whole life.”
“His whole life? You think it’s a boy?” His gaze dipped to her belly.
She touched her hand to her stomach. “I don’t know.”
“I want a girl,” Jared said, pulling up his suspenders. “It’ll be a girl.”
“All the more reason not to jeopardize her future,” Mattie said. “Surely you can see that.”
Jared shrugged into his vest and fastened his gun belt on his hips. “I’m more concerned that she’ll turn out as stubborn as her mama.”
Mattie sighed heavily. “Jared, please—”
“You need to get home,” he said, and put on his hat.
She pulled away when he reached for her arm. “Not until you give me your answer. I have to know this is settled. Surely you can understand that.”
He leaned down, just a little, just enough to make her draw back. “And surely you can understand that, for a man, agreeing to give up his child isn’t a decision to be made lightly.”
The depth of his gaze held her captive for a moment, and in that moment she saw something unreadable in Jared. Something deep. Something old and timeworn. It touched her, frightened her a little.
“I can walk home myself,” she said to him. He sighed irritably. “I’m walking you home, Mattie, and that’s that.”
Jared strode out of the room, leaving her no choice but to follow.
A ray of morning sunlight streaming through the window bored into Jared’s eyes, waking him. He sat up, groggy, looked around and finally remembered where he was after his first night in his new room.
He scrubbed his hands over his face and pushed his fingers through his hair. Then he tossed back the covers.
It had been a hell of a night….
His wedding night, or should have been. If Mattie hadn’t been so hardheaded at the church yesterday, he’d have spent the night in bed with her. Jared didn’t need to look down to be reminded of the missed opportunity. It had kept him tossing and turning for hours.
What the hell was wrong with that woman? Naked, Jared rose from the bed and poured water from the pitcher into the basin at the washstand. Every other woman in the whole country was champing at the bit to get married. Hell, most of them were tracking men down, dragging them to the altar.
Jared braced his arms on the corner of the washstand and squinted into the mirror. Sure, he looked a little ragged this morning, hair sticking up, eyes red, heavy whiskers, but he was a good catch, as husbands went.
He had a respectable job that paid well. He worked hard, had money put away. He was handsome enough. He knew how to treat a woman, take care of her needs…her womanly needs.
Jared groaned aloud as his body tightened, remembering how he’d taken care of Mattie’s needs their night together—all three times. The ache worsened, just thinking about it.
She’d come here last night to talk to him, but all he’d been able to think about was getting her into bed again. He’d walked her home, but she hadn’t let him come inside with her.
He’d told her he’d let her know his decision about telling everyone the truth about the baby. But that was just an excuse to get to see her again; he’d never poison his child’s future by branding him a bastard.
Jared groaned softly, remembering the night the baby was conceived. Before, when he’d been a marshal riding the trail, thinking of her, and this happened, he’d just waited it out, concentrated on his job. But now that he was in the same town with her, seeing her, touching her, almost marrying her, his condition had grown worse, much worse.
It just wasn’t right, wanting one woman this much, but he did. If he didn’t do something about it soon…
“Damn stubborn woman,” Jared muttered.
When he’d come to Stanford he’d wanted to make himself a home here, court Mattie, get to know her. Many a night on the trail he’d wondered if he’d fallen in love with her.
Jared gazed into the mirror, but it wasn’t his reflection he saw, it was the past. Ten years. Ten long years of loneliness, hurt and painful memories. Somehow, all of that had gone away after one night with Mattie.
Hell, maybe he did love her.
No matter what, Jared didn’t intend to let her out of his life. He liked being around her, liked the way she looked,