A Case for Forgiveness. Carol Ross
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once upon a time. She immediately banished the memories.
If she were honest with herself, she knew she was going to be facing this situation with Caleb on her own now, at least until he consulted with the heart specialist.
Her brain began buzzing with possibilities, some of which she voiced aloud. “So, when are you returning to Chicago? Will you fly back and meet us in Anchorage for the appointment? I’ll have Tag fly us—or Cricket if need be. Do you think I should stay with Caleb at the house until then?”
“No, actually, um...I’m not leaving.”
“What?”
“Remember I told you last night that Gramps had something he wanted to talk to me about?”
“Yes.”
“Apparently there are some issues with his practice, too.”
That knocked her back for a moment. “With his practice? What kind of issues?”
“He has quite a backlog of work and he’s asked me if I could take a look at some cases while I’m here. Help him sort through them and catch up. So I figure I’ll be here at least another month.”
Shay frowned. They both knew that Caleb was meticulous where his practice was concerned. “A backlog? I don’t know anything about this either. I could have found someone to help him. I’ve told him for years he needs to hire a paralegal. And I love Betty, but she’s not a paralegal. Don’t get me wrong—she’s a great typist who knows her way around a legal document, but a paralegal could give him a hand with some of the more technical stuff.”
Jonah took a step closer and lowered his voice. Shay knew he would never want anyone to hear them talking about Gramps not being on top of his game.
“I had a quick look last night. It’s kind of odd because some things are absolutely perfect—classic Caleb Cedar legal perfection. But then, there are others that are just a mess.”
Shay tried to wrap her brain around what he was telling her. Caleb mentioned cutting back once in a while, spending more time fishing and less time “fiddling with the law,” as he liked to refer to his practice, but she knew he’d never really retire. He loved the law as much as Jonah did.
He’d been so proud when Jonah had chosen to follow in his footsteps, and he’d been downright giddy when Jonah had been accepted to Yale, his alma mater. Ironic that it was one of Caleb’s proudest moments that had marked the beginning of the end of her and Jonah’s relationship.
Still, one of the biggest differences in her mind between Caleb and Jonah was that Caleb loved other things, too, besides the law—and not just things that could be bought. Caleb loved life.
“So...maybe he is feeling worse than he’s been letting on. What should we do?”
Jonah raised a hand and squeezed the back of his neck.
His movement combined with her own ill-timed inhale resulted in a blast from the Jonah-scented past. He smelled like citrus and sweat and cedar trees. Bittersweet memories stabbed her in the chest—the pain located right in the middle of her heart. She squeezed her eyes shut and Jonah mistook the action.
“Hey, I’m worried, too. But I don’t think there’s much we can do until we know more—other than keep an eye on him, right?”
She opened her eyes. “And I think it’s important for us to stay positive, because although he says he’s fine—this still has to be scary—even for someone as strong as your gramps. My mom went through some of this last year—heart attack and then bypass surgery. It was terrifying.”
Jonah nodded. “Thank you, Shay. I can’t tell you how much this means to me. Your help and everything you do for him... I—”
Shay wondered...did he just not hear the me’s and I’s?
“—know this isn’t about me. You love Gramps as much as I do. And he loves you—probably more than he does me. Hell, you certainly deserve his love more than I do.”
Well, she thought as her eyes traveled up to meet his again, that statement was a nice surprise, and strengthened her hope that he shared her level of concern.
Jonah’s lips turned up into a grin, one side higher than the other. Her stomach tightened and then stirred with anxiety, because he was reminding her too much of the boy she fell in love with—too much of the man she used to love. Too much...Old Jonah.
“That’s not true, Jonah. It’s that I’m the one who’s here.” She broke eye contact and tried to focus on the giant moose rack hanging on the wall behind him. “We’ll figure this out. I’m not going anywhere—you know that.”
His eyes somehow lured hers back in again. But now they were hard and flat and she was a little startled by the change in his expression.
“Yeah, that much I do know, Shay. I learned that a long time ago—the hard way.”
His tone was bland, but she felt the words like a sharp bite. She took a step back—his bitterness toward her a welcome reminder that she was bitter, too.
Goodbye fond memories and heavenly man-scent and good riddance. He blamed her and she blamed him. That was it, in a nutshell, and she certainly was in no mood to rehash old relationship issues that would never—could never—be solved.
She sighed. “Whatever, Jonah—let’s just stay focused on your gramps, okay? Your breakfast is probably getting cold, so I’ll let you get to it. I have to be back at the inn anyway. You’re bringing Gramps to bingo, right?”
“Oh, yeah, I can’t think of anything I’d rather do with my time than play bingo. Gramps said the entire town is atwitter with talk of the record-breaking jackpot.” His mocking pretty well summed up his feelings about Rankins. “And, gosh, there are hundreds of dollars in prizes.” He worked in one of his eye-snaps. “Does he not know how long it takes me to make hundreds of dollars back in Chicago? A matter of minutes. Bingo isn’t exactly my thing, Shay.”
Shay’s jaw fell open. “Jonah, sometimes people just do things because they’re fun, without giving a thought to much else. People enjoy spending time together for the sake of nothing more than that. You’ve been in town for about twenty minutes and you can’t at least go along and pretend to enjoy something—for your gramps’s sake? Did you know your gramps never even keeps his winnings? He always donates them back to whatever cause is being played for.”
“I...” He let out a frustrated groan. “That really did sound bad, didn’t it?”
“Yes, it did.”
“I’m just... I’m out of my league here, Shay.”
Out of his league?
“You grew up in this league, Jonah, remember? And you used to kind of like it. At the very least—you liked some of the people. And you know what? Many of those people still think highly of you and some of them consider you a friend, although why that is I don’t know because I’m almost positive you don’t deserve it. But right now there’s a whole table of them waiting to have breakfast with you, so before you head back there, you might want to rethink that condescending attitude. People will catch on, Jonah. And they won’t like it.”
She turned to leave.
“Shay, wait.” Now he did touch her, reaching out and grabbing her elbow, but she had no problem shrugging him off this time.
He pushed his fingers through his wavy black hair, making it look messy and frustrated, like she felt.
“Look, you’re right. I’m sorry. It’s not that I think I’m better, it’s just being here again—like this...it makes me feel off-balance.” He inhaled a deep breath and then exhaled a sigh. “Of course I’ll go. Gramps is excited about it.”
Shay watched him, waiting. It was a pretty good apology, but... “And...?” she drawled.
He