Meant To Be Hers. Joan Kilby
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for a bit before I go over to Dingo and Marla’s.”
“They’ll be worried about you,” Carly said.
“They’re cool.” But he felt bad about the way things had played out. Dingo would never deliberately make Finn feel uncomfortable. He’d only played the song as a nod to him. It was Finn’s fault for not confiding fully in his friend. He’d told Carly more in the past five minutes than he’d told Dingo in twelve years. How had she managed that?
“How will I get in touch with you?” she asked. “You know, if Rufus comes home.”
“Give me your phone.” When she fished it out of her pocket, he programmed in his cell number. “I’ll be in town for a few days. I’ll touch base later tonight, see how you’re doing. Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks for helping me search, and for well, everything.” Her smile came and went quickly. “I wouldn’t have survived last night if not for you.”
“You were doing just fine.”
“No, I was floundering.”
“All you needed was a stiff drink.”
“Or five.” She made a face that was half grimace, half grin. “Thanks for the hangover, too. It’s a doozy.”
“Hey, I poured you two glasses. You did the rest.” She rolled her eyes but there was a sparkle there. Always leave ’em laughing. He opened his arms. “Come here, Maxwell.”
After a moment’s hesitation, she stepped into his embrace. He folded his arms around her. With her head tucked beneath his chin and her cheek pressed to his chest, she fit just right.
“Everything’s going to be okay.” The words came out more gruffly than he’d intended. Truth was, he needed her emotional support as much as she needed his. Now he didn’t want to go but it was too late to make an excuse to stay.
“I know.” She hugged him hard, then kissed him briefly on the cheek before easing away, hands jammed in the front pocket of her hoodie. Her face worked and moisture filled her eyes. He was about to reach for her again when with a wave of her hand, she turned and walked swiftly up the steps. The front door opened and shut with finality.
He took a step toward the house then stopped. She’d said she was okay. Don’t push it. Things were better off uncomplicated. And the last thing he wanted was for her, or anyone, to try to fix him. His career and his relationship with his parents might be broken but he wasn’t.
* * *
CARLY CLIMBED THE front steps as the Mustang’s engine growled to life. From the porch she watched Finn do a U-turn and roar off. Here and gone, kind of like her whole experience of him. In the twenty or so years that she’d known him, she’d only seen snapshots of his life.
Childhood and long summer days when the sweetest music was the jingle of the ice cream truck. Then came the teenage years and the excitement of a new awareness. She’d eyed him covertly, managed the odd fumbling touch of hands, then that kiss in the tower...
She’d known nothing of the trials he went through during the rest of the year when she wasn’t around. He must have grappled with schoolwork that took a back seat to music, parental pressure and expectations, his family struggling to make ends meet.
In her limited viewpoint, his musical progress had come in spurts. One year he was a boy tenor playing simple pieces on the concert grand. The next summer his voice had broken and he’d graduated to longer, more complex music. She still couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that he no longer performed. At the café he’d shown the classic symptoms of an anxiety attack. Maybe it wasn’t surprising considering how that concert had ended. It was a crime that his talent was lost to the world, whether he would have gone on to play his own music or classical.
Nor could she understand how he could have stayed estranged from his parents for so long. He and his mom had been so close. Did that conflict have anything to do with Finn’s inability to play in front of an audience?
She hated that he seemed to have settled into an obscure career. No doubt he enjoyed writing songs but once upon a time he’d wanted so much more. She was convinced he still did. He’d tacitly admitted as much by wanting to hear his music played the way he’d envisioned it.
With a sigh, she went inside the house. Leadlights spilled a jeweled glow on the polished wood floor of the foyer. Moving through the jungle of potted ferns, she entered the living room, an eclectic collection of antique and modern furniture, Persian carpets and avant-garde sculpture. Her aunt had talked of updating the house while retaining the period features but had never got around to renovating. Now that would never happen. Carly went around the room looking for stray cups and plates. There weren’t any. Someone must have already cleaned up.
Her heart hurt for Finn but it was no use trying to analyze him. Even as a teenager, he’d been a complicated character. Aside from any romantic or sexual fantasies she used to have about him—and they were just that, fantasies—she had no illusions she could help him. If he, with all his passion and drive for music, had given it up, how could she change his mind? Anyway, he’d made it very clear he didn’t want her to interfere in his life.
Before Rufus had run away, she’d been half hoping Finn would take the dog. Now she wondered what kind of a life he led in Los Angeles. Did he have a girlfriend or a long-term partner, or even a dog already? Maybe the place he lived in LA didn’t allow dogs. Although if he wrote top-ten songs he probably wasn’t hurting for money.
Carly carried the dishes along the passage and heard women’s voices in the kitchen. Brenda was at the sink, washing crystal glasses that couldn’t go in the dishwasher. Blond curls were stuck to her temples and she had an apron tied around her ample waist. Frankie from next door had put her hair up in a spiky black knot and was mopping the floor. The leftover food had been put away and the empty liquor bottles moved to the recycling box.
“You didn’t need to do this, but thank you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you both being here.” Carly hugged Frankie, leaning over the mop to squeeze the shorter woman’s narrow shoulders. Then she stepped carefully across the damp tiles to embrace Brenda.
Her cousin’s wet hands were warm on her back. “How are you feeling this morning?” Brenda said. “You looked as if you were having a good time last night. Irene would have been proud of the way you sang.”
Carly winced at the memory of belting out “Oklahoma.” “Someone should have reminded me that I can’t carry a tune in the proverbial bucket.”
“No one cares. What mattered was that we honored Irene with a fitting send-off.” Frankie nodded at a plate of blueberry muffins on the counter. “Hungry?”
“I had a huge breakfast at Rhonda’s café with Finn.” Carly drifted to the counter anyway, irresistibly drawn by the warm scent of fruit and vanilla.
“I made them this morning,” Frankie said. “Think of them as breakfast dessert.”
“Is that a thing?” Carly took a muffin and bit into a moist crumb bursting with blueberries. “Mmm. If it’s not, it should be.”
“That Finn sure can play the piano,” Brenda said.
“Not a bad looker, either,” Frankie said, winking. “If I wasn’t happily married...”
“Didn’t you and he go together years ago?” Brenda asked Carly.
“No.” There was only that one kiss. Things might have progressed if they’d gone to the party afterward instead of him running out of the concert. But that was water under the bridge. And she didn’t want Brenda and Frankie jumping to false conclusions. Her thoughts about Finn were jumbled enough as it was.
“Where is he, anyway?” Brenda asked.
“He had things to do.” Carly turned to Frankie. “Irene told me how you and she used to exchange recipes.”
“Yep,