A Home For Her Baby. Eleanor Jones
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a moment Ali went quiet. “In a way it’s about Dad,” she began, struggling to keep her voice steady. “But there’s more.”
Jason waited for her to go on, saying nothing.
“Bobby suggested I go on a night fishing trip with him and his brothers, you know, for my research. Tom was dead against it...they had a row. He said he wasn’t prepared to take a rookie on a night trip, especially a woman, as it was far too dangerous. You know me, I was furious and, bottom line, he gave in and said that although he didn’t approve, since his father, Jed, didn’t seem to mind, I could go along. After he’d agreed, in fact, he found me some waterproofs and gave me advice about the trip... I was so looking forward to it—it was important to my dad that I scatter his ashes in the sea.”
“And I’m guessing it went wrong,” Jason said.
Ali looked at him ashen-faced. “There was a storm, Bobby drowned and it was all my fault. I took a stupid risk, didn’t listen to orders. When I went overboard he jumped in to save me...”
He reached across to place a sympathetic hand on her arm. “Accidents happen, Ali...you can’t take all the blame.”
“I can this time,” she said quietly.
“You must have liked it there if you rented a cottage,” Jake said “You should go back...face your demons I suppose you could call it.”
Ali nodded. “I’ve thought about it. I was considering writing a book instead of just an article, and maybe make it about Bobby. I could still dedicate it to Dad, too.”
“It’s a lovely idea,” Jason agreed. “Tell you what, why don’t you come and stay with us for a couple of days. Laura would love to have a chat with you and the kids will cheer you up and bring you down to earth. Then you can decide whether to come to work at The Times or go back to your fishing village and write.”
“Deal,” Ali cried, holding out her hand to shake his. “And, Jason...”
“Yes?”
“Thanks.”
With a broad grin he pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “I’ll ring Laura right now,” he said. “She’ll be over the moon...and, Ali...”
“Yes?”
“If you do decide to stay and work here for a while then you’re welcome to our spare room you know.”
“I might just take you up on that. It will give me time to get my head straight and let things settle down a bit before I go back to Jenny Brown’s Bay.”
“Or not?” Jason responded.
Ali shrugged. “Who knows.”
THE SEA WAS already rough when the boat set out across the bay in the crisp light of dawn. “Are you sure about this?” Ned called above the chugging of the engine.
Tom looked up at the rolling gray clouds; ice-cold spray splattered across his face and gulls screamed overhead as The Sea Hawk cut through the waves. “What do you think?” he responded, looking across at his brother.
“That we should have done it sooner.”
“Then let’s go fishing,” Tom cried, feeling more alive than he had since they set off on that fateful fishing trip. Deep down he’d been dreading going back out onto the water but now he realized he’d been wrong to delay it, for the ocean still felt like home, just as it always had before.
As if trying to make up for the tragedy it had caused, the sea was abundant with its offerings. When they got to the fishing ground both men worked hard and fast, hauling in cod after cod, delighting in the job they loved and exhilarated to be back out on the open waves.
It wasn’t until he started to steer the heavily stocked boat back toward Jenny Brown’s Bay that Tom’s mind rewound to that last fishing trip. He’d been on automatic since the accident, he could see that now, trying not to allow himself to think or feel, just getting on with what had to be done in the best way he could. Bobby’s death had aged his parents, to survive a son held a terrible guilt, he guessed, so it felt as if he had to step up and take responsibility for the whole family. A rush of sorrow dulled the triumph of today’s catch as his eyes fell on the rolling waves ahead; he’d been determined to stay strong for everyone but now, back in what felt like normality again, he felt suddenly drained.
“You okay, Tom?” Ned asked, peering at his older brother with concern.
Tom felt himself wilt and leaned forward over the wheel. “Just tired I guess.”
“Go and have a lie-down,” Ned urged, taking the wheel. “I can get this little lady home no problem.”
“You sure?” To Tom the idea of just letting go for a while seemed very appealing.
Ned grinned. “Hey... You can count on me. I’m with Search and Rescue you know.”
Stepping back Tom slapped him gratefully on the shoulder. “So you are. Have I ever told you how proud I am of that?”
Ned’s smile suddenly faded as memories kicked in. “Couldn’t save Bobby though could I?”
“Not your fault,” Tom insisted. “No one could have saved him.”
“She could—” Ned blurted out “—by staying away from us.”
For a moment Tom just looked at him, a rush of protectiveness for Ali bringing a heavy lump into his chest. “It was just circumstance, Ned...” he said slowly. “Fate. You can’t lay blame like that. I’m sure she’s as sorry about it as anyone.”
“Sorry she may be but she’s torn this family apart. And where is she now...back in her husband’s arms I’m guessing. Well I sure hope she’s not happy.”
“Bitterness only hurts the bearer,” Tom said quietly. “You have to let go of it, Ned, or it’ll tear you up.”
Ned’s knuckles turned white as he held on to the wheel. “I think I’m prepared to take that chance. Now you go below and get some rest before I change my mind...and, Tom?”
“Yes...”
“She’s nothing but trouble so stop defending her.”
Remembering the pain in Ali’s honey-brown eyes Tom was not so sure he could do that. Resisting the urge to say anything more, he just raised his hand; it didn’t really matter anyway because she was gone and he didn’t think there was much likelihood of her ever coming back.
* * *
ALI WAITED NERVOUSLY inside the busy pub where Jake had agreed to meet her. It was Laura who’d persuaded her to go. “You need to sort it out once and for all,” she insisted. “Tell him that it’s over and you want a divorce.”
Jason had backed her up. “Laura’s right you know, Ali. I’ve told you over and over that you need to put your life straight. You can’t move on until you’ve finished with the past.”
“But I’m not sure where I want to move on to,” she’d told them. “I love my work but obviously I can’t stay with you indefinitely... I mean, it’s been great and I really appreciate you having me but you don’t want a lodger forever...”
“You can stay as long as you like,” Laura had insisted. “Can’t she, Jason?”
“Of course,” he agreed, looking intently at Ali. “But I don’t think she really wants to.”
“Then what do you think I want, Jason?” Ali asked. “Because I sure don’t know... I mean, well, I’ve loved working with you these last few weeks but...”
“You need to go back to your cottage by the sea and