Killer Country Reunion. Jenna Night
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“I’m sorry about your mom. And I’m sorry I didn’t call after your dad... I guess I just thought calling after leaving the way I did would make things about me at a time when they needed to be about your family.” One more thing he hadn’t handled well. But not because he hadn’t cared. Quite the opposite.
“A few days before I left, my dad showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night,” Zane said. “He told me things were changing around Cobalt and that some new business associates were going to make him rich. But they weren’t interested in working with a guy whose son was involved with a cop’s family. Told me it would be best for everyone if I left town.”
The conversation had gotten loud and ugly. Lee Coleman had been using too much of the stuff he was selling, and as a result he’d lost his job at the horse ranch where he’d worked and lived for years. The drugs made him paranoid and it had been clear he was afraid Zane would sell him out to the police.
“When he told me bad things would happen to you, your family, anyone I cared about if I didn’t get out of town, I knew I had to go. I didn’t start thinking about the military until a couple of weeks after I left. I was afraid if I called to tell you, once I heard your voice I’d change my mind and come back. And that would put you right back into danger again.”
He rubbed his hand over his face. This was old history. And it would be good to get it wrapped up so he could move on. Returning to Cobalt wasn’t about trying to relive the past. It was about pursuing his dream of working with horses. He had the opportunity to do that here. Forget trying to recapture things that he’d lost or ruined. Indulging in wishful thinking like that had made his life miserable for far too long.
“So you left when you could have stayed and helped send your dad to prison?” Caroline prompted. The anger was gone from her tone. Now she sounded aloof. Like she really didn’t want anything else to do with him.
“The local cops had started forming a task force with state and federal agencies around the time I left. I met with a couple of detectives and told them everything I knew. They asked that I not tell anyone about that meeting in order to keep my dad from finding out and retaliating.”
His dad hadn’t been involved in the Marsh shooting. But he did get busted for selling drugs and served five years in prison down in Boise. While Zane hadn’t been able to protect Sergeant Henry, at least leaving town had kept Caroline and the rest of the family safe.
A disquieting thought flickered in Zane’s mind. Could his father have had something to do with today’s attack? Zane hadn’t heard from him in years. The odds were good that he was back in Cobalt. Other than the time spent in prison, he’d never lived anywhere else.
Caroline was quiet for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell my dad what was happening? Why didn’t you stay here and let us stand by you?”
Why? Because his own dad had warned him against doing just that and had told him the same thing he always did. That Zane was his son and just like him. That the Marsh family were a completely different kind of people. Nice. Law-abiding. Churchgoing. That Zane might be able to fool them into accepting him in the short term, but in the long run they’d see what he really was. That he wasn’t worth the trouble. It was Zane’s deepest fear: he was unworthy of love. And his drug-addled dad spoke right to it.
It had taken several more years in his faith walk for Zane to be able to believe he had value simply as a child of God. Though he still had moments—sometimes whole days—when he struggled to believe that.
Caroline watched him closely, still waiting for a response.
He had been twenty years old when he’d left town, desperate to protect the young woman he loved. Of course if the same thing happened now, he would make very different decisions. Zane drew in a deep breath and blew it out. “I guess I just figured you and your family didn’t need the headache.”
Caroline stared at him for what felt like a very long time and then slowly shook her head. An expression of pained disappointment seemed to darken her eyes. “After everything my parents did for you? After everything you and I talked about and the life we planned together? I can’t believe that.”
There was nothing more for Zane to say.
Her response was a good reminder of why things would never have worked out between the two of them. Even when she tried, she couldn’t understand him. They’d had such different starts in life. Been brought up so differently. And there was no overcoming that.
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