The Bull Rider's Secret. Jill Lynn
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“I’m not doing it. I’m not training him.” Mackenzie winced at her petulant declaration, which was reminiscent of the tone her four-year-old niece, Ruby, used when she threw a fit. When the girl wanted to watch a show right now. And then usually ended up losing that very privilege because of her attitude.
Luc shook his head, his sigh long and ranking at a ten on the what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you scale.
The two of them sat on the corral railing as a gorgeous Colorado sunset showed off with pink-and-orange streaks kissing the mountains, and the cool air offered a respite from the warm late-spring day.
They’d been watching, encouraging and directing as the wranglers had practiced for one of the nightly performances they’d put on once the guests arrived. The first week might be rough, but it would come together.
It always did.
Ever since she’d been a little girl, Mackenzie had loved everything about Wilder Ranch. The guests who came back year after year. The wide-open land. The hot springs, the fishing, the shooting, the short drive to glorious, unfettered white-water rafting. This place just made sense to her.
Unlike Luc, she’d never had to run off for a time to figure out that this was where she wanted to be. She understood now why Luc had gone to Denver the fall after they’d graduated high school. But at the time she couldn’t have said anything of the sort.
After Luc’s return to the ranch, when their parents had decided to move to a different climate for their mom’s health, it had been a no-brainer that Mackenzie would stay and run the ranch with her siblings.
She’d never struggled with being here—until Jace’s appearance earlier today.
“If I give in on him staying...” Mackenzie still didn’t say his name. Couldn’t. “Then I should at least not have to train him.”
If. Mackenzie clung to the word even though that option was slipping through her fingers. Luc was as sturdy and dependable as tree roots that sank into the ground and held tight for centuries. He wouldn’t renege. If he’d hired Jace, Mackenzie didn’t have much hope of upending that offer.
But maybe she could avoid him. Not run away—that was too weak. But just happen to never work anywhere near him for the rest of the summer.
That sort of impossibleness.
Please, please, please.
“Okay. I will. But then you have to do my job.”
She groaned. She loathed bookwork. Paperwork. Life-sucking monsters. “I can’t believe you hired my ex.” That title was too formal. “My high school boyfriend.” That was a little better.
“I really didn’t know things ended badly between you, or I wouldn’t have. I can’t believe you hid that from me.”
Mackenzie didn’t defend her actions, because what he’d said was true. And hiding things from Luc was no easy task.
“I always just thought he’d left to ride bulls,” her brother continued. “I didn’t know you were so angry at him about it.”
Ouch. That smarted. “He left—” she swallowed, but it didn’t add any moisture to her mouth, which felt as if she’d been hiking for a week without provisions “—in a jerky way. Things didn’t end well.”
And then you left me, too.
Mackenzie hadn’t admitted to anyone how hurtful Jace’s departure had been. She was supposed to be strong, tough, solid—physically, yes. But also mentally. Emotionally. And Jace’s disappearance had cut so deep, she’d been petrified that she’d never recover.
And then, before she’d even had a chance to begin doing exactly that, Luc had decided to move to Denver.
Both of them had abandoned her. It wasn’t the first time Mackenzie had been left behind. Nor, she doubted, would it be the last.
“My to-do list is long right now. There’s a stack on my desk of insurance issues and bills. Plus we’re having a website problem, so I need to call about that.”
“Can a person be allergic to paperwork?” Mackenzie rubbed a hand across the front of her neck. “I think my throat’s closing off.”
Luc snorted.
A fresh chill skimmed along Mackenzie’s arms as the quiet night expanded with chattering crickets and a slight breeze rustling new leaves.
“You know you’ll probably have to help out some when the babies come. I mean, I’m still planning to work, but Cate will need me. I promised her that she wouldn’t be on her own.”
This time. Mackenzie clenched her jaw. She’d gotten over what Cate had done in not telling Luc about Ruby until the girl was three years old. And it wasn’t even her business. Cate was really great. Luc loved her—that much was clear. And Mackenzie had gotten on board. Had forgiven her now sister-in-law for doing what she had done.
But Mackenzie was still protective of Luc. She always had been. When they were kids and he’d needed open-heart surgery, it had felt like she was on that operating table with him. Like she was being cut open, too.
Luc had always been her person. When he’d left the ranch, she’d been so mad. Mostly because she’d missed him so much. The day he’d decided to come home, his truck kicking up dust down the long ranch drive, it was as if she’d been taken off life support and her lungs had kicked into functioning mode again.
Now that Luc had a family, she still missed him sometimes. It only made sense that he’d spend most of his time with them. And yeah, she saw him plenty because they worked together. But he’d been her closest friend for most of her life. She wasn’t girlie. Didn’t have any desire to go shopping with Emma and Cate when they went on one of their marathon trips—she just...wasn’t built that way. Mackenzie had always hung out with the boys. She and Luc had shared friends. And pathetically, now that he had a life and she didn’t, she missed her brother. A mortifying confession she’d go to her grave denying.
“Hopefully the babies will sleep like champs and not fuss, but there’s no guarantee of that. I missed so much with Ruby, and I just can’t do that this time.”
Knife to the heart. Luc was right, and she should jump on the supportive-sister bandwagon and...support him. “Do you have to be so logical? Can’t you take a day off once in a while?”
He laughed. “You’re usually right there with me. But Jace has you messed up. I’ve never seen you so...shaken over a guy.”
Ho-boy. She didn’t like that description of her one bit. She was acting like a train wreck.
Mackenzie had to pull herself together and stop letting it show how much Jace got under her skin.
And really, why should he have that much of an impact on her? It had been so many years since he’d hightailed it out of town that she should be long over these jumbled, intrusive feelings.
Mackenzie didn’t think about Jace all of the time anymore. Not like she had when he’d first run away.
But she did have questions. Like, why had he called her the week after he’d left? And the next week, too? Two phone calls, no messages.
She’d been consumed by what she would do if she happened to catch his call. Would she answer or not?
Turned out her uncertainties hadn’t mattered, because the attempts to reach her had stopped.
Maybe Mackenzie’s issues were more with things left unsaid—undone—than the fact that she was still affected by Jace.
Maybe she was truly over him, but those whys remained.
If that were the case, she’d feel like far less of an idiot. Because that would mean she wasn’t still hung up on him. Just on how things