Alaskan Christmas Cold Case. Sarah Varland
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He nodded. On all the cases they’d worked together, either he or Erynn had pursued a lead and it had been clear “whose” case it was. This was the first time they had sat on the same side of any desk. He nodded again, hoping she understood it was fine, but unable to say anything. Was this the closest he’d been to her physically? They’d ridden in patrol cars together, hers, his. But she was scooting her chair closer now, close enough he could sense her shampoo, which smelled like the beach. Coconut or something like it.
Years. He’d ignored this crush for years. Worked around it, denied it even to himself. He had to hang on for however long it took to put this guy behind bars. He owed it to Erynn.
“So where should we start? I’m assuming you have an opinion.”
Her behavior was almost back to normal and he was panicked at the idea that he could have lost her tonight.
He had to shake this insecurity, needed to be the man he usually was in this office. Capable. Confident.
“We need to start at square one. It’s going to give us more than if we just try to figure out where our mistakes were.”
“Of course. Because if those had been obvious, we’d have seen them the first time.”
The program loaded and Noah pulled up the files they needed. Decided to read out loud, not because Erynn couldn’t see over his shoulder, but they both were the type who talked things out.
“‘Jane Doe, discovered by hikers on the glacier three and a half years ago, on July 3. Initially it was assumed a hiker had misstepped and died as a result of her injuries, but the lack of gear observed near the hiker eventually turned it into a missing persons investigation with a suspicion she’d been murdered.’”
He stopped reading, looked over at Erynn, who was still closer than she’d ever been. But just as out of his reach. “That whole time, did you know?”
“Know what?”
“That she was a victim of the person...”
Erynn shook her head. “No, the body was reported. I knew only what you did, assumed the same things.”
“At what point did you suspect there was more to it than the rest of us knew?”
“Keep reading.”
“‘Trooper Erynn Cooper and Moose Haven Police Chief Noah Dawson investigated the scene and put out a missing persons report. Janie Davis, reported missing in the Kenai Peninsula area on July 1, was last seen in Seward, which also has a glacier that flows out of Harding Icefield, where the body was discovered—’”
“There.” Erynn broke in. “As soon as Janie’s name came up, I knew.”
“Did you assume the body was hers?”
“Yes.” She said it without hesitation and he believed her. She’d never given him a reason not to. It was becoming clearer to him that she hadn’t been generous in her details about her past. He understood now it had been intentional on her part. She had kept it from him, from all of them. To protect herself from a killer? From being ashamed of where she’d been?
Noah didn’t know and, if he didn’t know, he couldn’t fix it. He hated not being able to fix things.
“Do you want coffee?” He was exhausted. His mind felt fuzzy around the edges; hers had to, also. Bringing coffee was something he could do, and a quick trip to the break room would let him check in with some of his officers on anything they had discovered from the crime scene in the cell.
“Right now?” She glanced at her watch. “It’s past ten.”
“And you’re too young to have rules about when you drink caffeine.” He stood and walked to the door but stopped. “Unless you wanted to try to get some sleep? I can keep pulling up old details and you could catch a nap in the chairs, or maybe on the sofa.”
“Not happening.”
“Sleep might be good.” He could only manage a half-hearted attempt to convince her. He couldn’t imagine her sleeping anytime in the next few hours, at least not well. If he were her, he wouldn’t want to try.
Erynn bit her lip, a frown clouding her features. “You know exactly what I’ll see if I close my eyes. And you’d want me to try?”
“No.” This time he didn’t hesitate. “You need coffee.”
Noah opened the door, saw Tyler walking by. His brother had a job at the family’s lodge, running the place, but he’d humored Noah and gone to the trooper academy to become law enforcement certified so he could help out at the department when there were special circumstances. Tonight qualified.
“Tyler.” Noah nodded at his office. “Can you stay with Erynn while I get us some coffee?”
“Of course.” Tyler stepped up to the door, stopped to look at Noah and let the door shut between them and Erynn. “How is she?” He’d lowered his voice, which Noah appreciated, but he still wasn’t comfortable talking about Erynn like she wasn’t there, or worse, like she was some random victim who needed to be treated with kid gloves. Yeah, Erynn wouldn’t appreciate it at all.
“She’s fine. Considering. She’ll be better when I get her some coffee.” Noah blew out a breath, turned back to his brother. “Look, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I get it. It’s hard.”
Noah raised his eyebrows. “You get it?”
“Does Emma showing up in town with someone after her ring a bell? I understand. I’ll make sure Erynn’s okay while you’re gone.” Tyler was implying...
“You aren’t saying I have the kind of feelings for Erynn that you have—”
“Just get the coffee. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
But it wasn’t like everyone with eyes didn’t know. Noah heard what Tyler wasn’t saying. His feelings for Erynn had been obvious to everyone but her for years. He’d never acted on them because Erynn was...she was too special to lose if she didn’t feel the same way. And he’d always felt her hesitation, the way she held people at arm’s length, and he had not wanted to make her uncomfortable by trying to get closer to her if that was not what she wanted. Now he wondered if he’d lost his chance with her altogether, if he should have been honest with her. But it was too late to change anything now, or to hide his feelings from the town. Noah did not bother to defend himself this time, did not bother to play dumb, just nodded and headed for the break room.
“So, what did you learn while you were gone?”
Erynn tried not to sound too interested, but every cell in her body was on high alert, ready to charge forward into battle against the killer. If only she had a face, a name, something to make him more substance than just a terror who haunted her dreams, killed her friends, her family.
She wanted a fair fight. She couldn’t have that if she didn’t know who he was.
“I got you coffee. That’s why I was gone.” He handed it to her and she took a sip. Strong, with just a tiny bit of half-and-half. She didn’t deserve to have a friend who knew her so well—especially when she usually drank it black. It was healthier that way, for one. For another, proving herself as a woman in a male-dominated profession dictated that she take every opportunity to show herself capable. Strong. She felt like black coffee made a statement, and had drunk it that way since she’d graduated from the trooper academy. But half-and-half was a guilty pleasure, one that felt like a treat.
And Noah always remembered. She was starting to realize he remembered everything about her, and that knowledge made her feel seen. It was either exhilarating or terrifying: Erynn didn’t know which. She had spent too much time hoping she’d blend in, just be normal. Average.