Royal Weddings. Joan Elliott Pickart
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admired up close what such as he should never see except from a careful, formal distance.
It was all a mistake. A huge one, an error in judgment on the part of his king. His king had trusted him.
And no matter that Hauk had yet to touch the woman intimately—would never touch the woman intimately—he had betrayed that trust in his heart and his mind.
Betrayed his king. And thus, betrayed the man he had always believed himself to be.
The door to the bathroom opened. The princess emerged wearing the big pink shirt she liked to sleep in. A cloud of sweet steam came out with her. Her face had a clean, scrubbed shine to it. Her hair was slightly damp at the temples, little tendrils of it curling along her soft, moist cheeks.
Desire was a lance, turning in his flesh, twisting ever deeper.
If only she had never dared to speak of it—to talk of it so calmly, in her easy American way. Her words had seared themselves into his brain.
It’s an… attraction, that’s all. It happens between men and women. It’s natural. We don’t have to act on it. And if we did—which we won’t—it would be nobody’s business but yours and mine….
She had him thinking, oh yes, she did. Thinking that to have her would be worth everything—his commission, his pride. Possibly even his freedom and his life. Just one night, to touch her everywhere, to put his mouth on all her most secret places, to hear her call out his name.
What was his life, anyway? Who was he? Less than nothing. Fitz. Bastard. With his small hopes of an insignificant future.
The wife he hadn’t found yet was ruined for him now. In the distant, empty time to come, he would look down into her face when they mated and think of the woman standing in the doorway now.
Her Highness said, ‘‘You can get comfortable. I’m going to bed.’’
Hauk pulled off his boots and his stockings and went down to his blankets to wait out the endless night.
Chapter Nine
Somehow, though she never expected she would, Elli did go to sleep. If she dreamed, she didn’t recall those dreams when she woke. Her eyes popped open at a few minutes after seven on Thursday morning and her first thought, as she stared at her silent bedside clock, was that she’d forgotten to turn on her alarm.
Her second thought was of Hauk.
Hauk. A warmth spread through her. A longing.
She ordered that longing to get lost. Today, they were leaving. By tonight, she’d be in Gullandria. He’d made it clear that once he delivered her to her father, they might never see each other again. And if they did, it would only be in passing. A quick glimpse, from a distance, in some echoing palace room. That, at most. Nothing more.
She sat up. And found him sitting in the straight chair opposite the end of her bed. He had his boots on and his face was just-shaved smooth.
Elli raked her tangled hair back off her forehead. ‘‘Imagine running into you here.’’
‘‘It is Thursday morning.’’
Irritation sizzled through her at his preemptive tone. ‘‘No kidding.’’
‘‘Rise. Dress and gather your things. The time to go has come.’’
She folded her hands on top of the blankets and looked down at them. She was thinking that she ought to just do as he said.
Too bad when she raised her head what came out was, ‘‘Think again.’’
As usual, he sat absolutely still. ‘‘Why do you insist on playing these endless mind games?’’ His eyes were like a pair of lasers, slicing through her, cutting deep.
‘‘This is no game. It’s only seven. It will be Thursday morning for five more hours.’’
His expression showed very little. Yet somehow he seemed to seethe where he sat. There was a long, heated moment during which they glared at each other.
Then he stood. ‘‘Five hours then. At noon, you will be ready. At 12:00 p.m., exactly, we will walk out your door.’’
She yanked her shoulders back and shot him her most defiant scowl. ‘‘And if I’m not ready?’’
‘‘Then I’ll bind you hand and foot, stuff a kerchief in your mouth to still your cries and carry you out.’’ He turned on his heel and left.
Elli gripped the blankets and told herself she would not, under any circumstances, jump from the bed and chase him down the hall screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs.
Hauk stood in the hall, composing himself. He wanted to march back in there, wrap his fingers around her smooth neck and squeeze the defiance right out of her. But if he touched her, he knew it wouldn’t be strangling she’d get at his hands.
The most important thing, the goal above all, was to last until noon without laying a finger on her. Then, one way or another, he’d take her to the airport. The Gulfstream could make it nonstop to Gullandria. Within hours, he’d be turning her over to her father, the king. Once he got free of her—once she wasn’t there every moment, her very presence like a taunt, a constant reminder of what he’d never have—he could begin to purge himself of this impossible hunger for her.
Through the most recent long and sleepless night, he’d pondered deeply. And by dawn he’d almost convinced himself that, over time, he would again find the man he had been before Monday—before two brief days and three cruel nights of following his king’s beautiful daughter everywhere she went. He’d almost made himself believe that the day would come when the prospect of the life that lay before him would be enough to satisfy him again.
Already there was a bright spot to focus on. Never again would he be forced to spend a night lying so near to her, forbidden to touch.
Elli got dressed, washed her face, combed her hair and brushed on a little blusher and mascara. Hauk was waiting for her in the hallway when she emerged from the bedroom.
She couldn’t seem to stop herself from sneering at him. ‘‘There you are again. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?’’
He fell in step behind her. ‘‘You will soon have your wish.’’
She stopped, turned. And all her anger just melted away. There was nothing left but longing.
‘‘Oh, Hauk. I didn’t say it was my wish.’’
They stared at each other. Always a mistake, for them to stare at each other…
Elli sucked in a trembling breath. ‘‘Breakfast,’’ she said. ‘‘We need breakfast.’’
‘‘Yes,’’ he said. ‘‘Breakfast.’’
Neither of them moved.
‘‘Go on,’’ he said.
Somehow, she did it. She turned from those eyes of his and went on down the hall.
The dishwasher was full of clean dishes. Hauk emptied it and set the table. Elli made the coffee, fried the last of the bacon and whipped up some batter for pancakes.
They ate in silence.
And not an angry silence, either. Just a cautious one—cautious and a little bit sad. Elli let her gaze stray out the window to the patch of blue sky between the buildings.
She looked back at Hauk, who was so carefully not looking at her.
Oh, really, he was very dear. He was true and good and… straight-ahead. Not to mention absolutely thrilling to look at. She remembered the little redhead in the restaurant last night. Is that yours? Oh, my, my…
Elli agreed with the redhead. What woman wouldn’t want to make love with Hauk? All that beautiful bronze skin and