Always in My Heart. Kayla Perrin
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The simple words hit Nigel with the impact of a kick to his stomach, so much so that he exhaled all the air in his lungs in a huge gush.
“I have a…” Son? He couldn’t even say the word, it was that unbelievable.
“I know you’re surprised,” Callie went on.
“Surprised?” Nigel laughed, but it was a hollow, mirthless sound. Surprise was the least of it. He was dumbfounded. If someone had told him that his best friend was actually a robot, he would have been less surprised.
He was a father.
It seemed inconceivable. Sure, he knew that he and Callie had made love enough times to create a baby. But though they’d been young, they’d been smart enough to use protection.
“How?” Nigel asked. “How is this possible?”
“I know it’s hard to believe because we were using protection,” Callie began. “But condoms aren’t always foolproof.”
This couldn’t be happening. Surely Nigel had been transported to the twilight zone. Because what he was hearing was too bizarre to be true.
Get this—she’s got a child. Marshall’s words sounded in his mind. A young boy was getting out of the car with her. Maybe eight.
“How old is he?” Nigel asked.
“Nine.”
Nine… If the kid was nine, it certainly could be his son. His heart was racing, but with each passing second, he was becoming convinced that he wasn’t in the twilight zone.
This was really happening. This was true.
Callie had said that condoms weren’t always foolproof, and Nigel couldn’t help remembering at least a couple times that the condom had broken when they’d been together. At the time, he hadn’t been overly concerned about it. Because he had planned to spend his life with Callie, so if they’d created a child together, Nigel would have been fine with that, even if a baby had come along sooner than he had planned.
Callie, the condom broke, Nigel remembered telling her the first time it had happened.
Do you think we made a baby? Callie had asked, stroking his face, smiling as if the idea pleased her.
Nigel stiffened his jaw now, pushing the memory of that happier time from his mind. Clearly, he and Callie had created a baby one of the times that the condom had broken.
Kwame. His son.
“So you got pregnant and you didn’t tell me,” Nigel said, stating the obvious.
“I know I should have.”
“Yet you didn’t.”
“Yes,” Callie said, sounding ashamed.
It didn’t make sense that she was here. Why tell him about this now?
“So what happened to bring you here now? You had some sudden epiphany that you should finally clue me in?”
“Something like that.”
He supposed what he really wanted to know was if Callie had ever planned to tell him. “Was that your plan all along?” he asked. “To not tell me about this?”
“No, that wasn’t my plan,” Callie explained. “I never thought I would have your baby and not tell you about it.”
“Then how could you? After what we meant to each—” The words died in Nigel’s throat. Obviously, he hadn’t meant as much to Callie as he’d thought.
“I just…I felt that if we weren’t working as a couple, then why burden you with a child?”
Nigel gaped at her, then steeled his jaw in anger. “Are you serious?”
Callie looked somewhat hurt by the question, but for goodness’ sake, he was the one with the reason to be upset. For ten years, she had kept him in the dark. Starting with her pregnancy and then the birth of their son.
“I know it’s not easy to understand,” Callie said. “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I know that would be unrealistic. I’m just asking…I’m here because I know it was time for me to do the right thing.”
“Because of what happened to you?” Nigel asked, gesturing to her injured arm. “That bandage and sling have something to do with you wanting to do the right thing? Did you get hurt in some…some crazy protest?” He would bet money on it. Callie, the fireball of passion he had known and loved, ready to speak out against injustice at every turn.
Callie looked away, pausing briefly before answering. “No, no protest. I’m not the same person I was years ago. But yes, getting hurt made me see the light. I realized that if I died, Kwame deserved to be with his father.”
“So if not for your accident, you wouldn’t be here.”
“And Auntie Jean’s death as well,” Callie said softly. “A death in the family put things into perspective.”
Nigel gritted his teeth. He wanted to hear Callie say that after all these years, nagging guilt was why she was finally here at his place. He didn’t want to hear that he was the fallback plan. That if something tragic happened to her, he would then be good enough for his son.
“A lot of holes with that plan, I can tell you,” Nigel muttered.
“I know it wasn’t the best pl—”
“For example, let’s just say something happened to you and suddenly Kwame was transferred to my care without knowing who I was. How damaging do you think that would be? Don’t you think it would’ve been better for me to forge a relationship with him ahead of time, not in case of emergency?” Nigel knew that he sounded angry, but damn it, he had a right to be.
Callie closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “That’s why I’m here now. What happened to me was a huge wake-up call, and thankfully the worst didn’t happen. Thankfully, you can now forge that relationship with your son. I’m here, Nigel, ready to do the right thing. But if you don’t want to be a part of your son’s life—”
“Don’t you dare say that to me,” Nigel said. “You’re the one who took my son away from me. You took away my choice to be a father.”
“I’m sorry. I…”
“I know. You were hoping I would give you an excuse.” When she met his eyes with a questioning expression, he continued. “Give you an excuse to run again.”
Callie said nothing, and Nigel nodded. “I know you too well, don’t I?”
“I’m here because I want you to get to know your son.”
“How generous of you.” Nigel turned, began to pace. He needed to move. He needed to do something to help calm his frayed nerves.
He heard the soft breath that escaped Callie’s lips, and hated himself for even feeling a measure of empathy for her. He knew how hard it was for her to be here, admitting the truth. But the bottom line was, she was the one who had lied to him.
Ten years ago, if she had made a soft little sound like that, he would have curled her into his arms and held her until everything was all right.
But there would be no holding her now.
“I’m sorry,” Callie said.
Nigel faced her again. “Yeah, well, that apology is ten years too late.”
He began to pace again, and silence fell between them, the only sound in the room their heavy breathing.
When he faced her again, he saw that her eyes were filled with tears. And damn it, there was that empathy again. Empathy that she didn’t deserve.
Pausing, Nigel drew in a deep breath, one he hoped would help calm his ire. “Look, you can’t show up nine years