Heart of the Storm. Lindsay McKenna
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color of dawn approach. Soon, Father Sun would rise—a sacred moment she always absorbed with joy. Dawn was one of the most powerful times of the day.
Out of the red-violet dawn, a dark shape came, flying directly toward her. The wings of the bird were curved and long. Dana watched in fascination as the winged one drew closer. Her heart beat in anticipation, not fear.
As the great blue heron materialized from the shadows, a strange sense of elation soared through Dana. The red-and-gold colors of sunrise were filling the sky when the blue-gray water bird called to her.
Come, Daughter! Ride upon me! I will take you west. Come, mount me and we will fly together!
The heron cocked its head, its black eyes sparkling with life. In the dream, Dana moved forward to mount its broad back. Without fear, she settled astride the bird and gripped the soft feathers of its long, thin neck. The great wings flapped, and Dana felt the power of the heron thrumming through her as it turned and began its journey toward the southwest. Where were they going? A sense of adventure and happiness filled Dana.
The landscape changed remarkably beneath them. Dana gasped as she recognized the red desert of the Four Corners area. It was the Navajo Reservation, where her adopted grandmother lived! How many times had she come here to visit Agnes Spider Woman? So many, especially when she was a child growing up. Every year, her family had driven from South Dakota to Arizona to visit her Grandmother Agnes. How Dana had looked forward to those warm, happy visits.
As she saw the red desert dotted with juniper, cypress and piñon trees, an ache started in her heart. An ache of loneliness for her grandmother, who loved her fiercely. Since the murders of her mother and Hal, Dana had run away, and hadn’t once gone to visit Agnes. No, like a coward, she’d run east and immersed herself in teaching children, trying to forget her pain, to forget her past….
The heron flew over an eight-sided hogan, built of long timbers with mud in between. It was surrounded by tall, mighty cottonwoods to give it shade from the brutal summer heat. Dana instantly recognized the box canyon with its red-and-white sandstone and limestone walls. This hogan was where Grandma Agnes lived. And standing outside, in a long, dark-blue cotton skirt and long-sleeved red velvet blouse, and a heavy necklace of turquoise and silver, was her adopted grandmother. She was waiting for Dana.
The heron landed gently. Dana slid off the bird’s back and she thanked it. Turning, she saw her grandmother smiling warmly, her arms opening.
“Grandma!” Dana cried, and she ran up the red clay slope to where Agnes stood.
In the dream, Dana felt her grandmother’s thin, strong arms wrap around her. As soon as they embraced, Dana began to cry—deep, wrenching sobs welling up from within her. Agnes murmured her name and, with one trembling hand, gently caressed her hair. She understood Dana’s grief.
For the first time since Cora and Hal’s death, Dana felt totally loved and protected. She had had to be so strong after their deaths. All the paperwork to fill out, all the meetings with the county sheriff, the detectives…It had been an endless nightmare of ongoing pain for her. No one knew who had killed them. They still didn’t know. That bothered her all the time.
“Grandmother…” Dana pulled back from her embrace to gaze at her. “It’s so good to see you again. I’m so sorry I didn’t come home after…well, after.”
“Grandchild, do not worry,” Agnes whispered, smiling into Dana’s eyes. “I understand. What is important is that when I asked you to come, you did. That is all that matters.” She touched Dana’s wet cheeks, her fingers shaky. “Tears are good. They are cleansing and healing. You keep crying. Better out than in.” She gave Dana a luminous smile.
Stepping back, Dana held her grandmother’s thin, worn hand. “Are you all right?”
“Of course. I have come to you in your dream to ask you to visit me. When you awake, you must pack and drive out here immediately. I need your help, and will tell you why once you arrive.” Agnes held Dana’s startled look. “You will come, won’t you, Granddaughter?”
“Of course, Grandma. I promise.”
“Good. Come to my hogan. Be here by the full moon.”
“I’ll be here, Grandma. I will come home.”
As soon as Dana whispered those words, she felt herself spiraling downward. The scene with her grandmother dissolved. Accustomed to the sensation, Dana knew her astral body was coming home to her physical form….
Sunlight slanted through the open window, filling Dana’s bedroom with brilliance. She rolled onto her back, her arm still wrapped around the pipe bag. Gently, Dana placed it on the pillow again. The dream was alive and vibrant within her. Sitting up and sliding her feet from beneath the covers, she wriggled her toes on the thick, dark-green carpet.
Outside, a robin was singing melodiously. The sky was light-blue and cloudless, the breeze fragrant with the scent of flower blossoms. The world looked different to Dana as she stared wonderingly out the window. It was 8:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning…and the vivid dream became a wake-up call.
Running her palm across her purple duvet cover, Dana closed her eyes and allowed the full beauty of the dream and of her grandma’s love to shimmer through her. Her heart opened like a flower, and she drew in a tremulous breath. Home. She was going home. Agnes had asked her to come visit.
As she opened her eyes, Dana felt relief from the guilt she’d carried since the murders. Her grandmother had asked her to come and stay with her. Instead, Dana had run like a coward and hidden in the white man’s world.
The familiar odor of burning sage came to her. Oh! How she loved the smell of ceremonial smudge, being wafted to cleanse her of any negative thoughts and feelings. Dana could sense her adopted grandmother in astral form nearby. Even though she couldn’t see her with her eyes, Dana felt her loving and powerful presence. She had been taught astral travel at an early age. It was an easy way to visit a friend or loved one anywhere, in the blink of an eye. The sage was her grandmother’s calling card. A welcome one.
Lifting her head, Dana looked around her small bedroom. “I’m coming, Grandma. I’m coming home to you….” she said aloud.
Dana could swear she heard her grandmother’s cackling chuckle, felt her hand rest gently on her shoulder. The sensation was comforting. Strengthening. For too long, Dana had been off the reservation, disconnected from Mother Earth and all her relations. She’d run to the empty world of the white man instead.
Not happy about her choices, but knowing she couldn’t change the past, Dana slowly got to her feet. The warmth of the sun embraced her as she walked to the curtained window. Seeing the robin singing in the Jonathan apple tree made Dana smile.
Her grandmother was near. She could feel her standing at her side, her arm wrapped lovingly across her shoulders. A sharp longing to be back on Native American land plunged through Dana.
There was such a difference in energy, living on a reservation versus in the mechanized world of whites. Indians still had an invisible connection, like an umbilical cord, between themselves and the land. Mother Earth pumped energy and love into the “children” who were still attached to her. As a result, Native Americans cared for and honored the earth. They gave daily prayers of gratitude for being alive, for being nourished and fed. They were reverent toward their true mother, for without her, no one would be alive.
“Yes…” Dana whispered, her throat suddenly closing with tears. “I’ll leave today, Grandma. I’ll call the school and get someone to fulfill my contract.” As a teacher, she would miss her children. Dana felt badly about that. Right now, she needed healing and help. “I’m coming home, back to where I belong.” Even though she was born and raised in South Dakota, the southwest was her favorite place to live. Many times in the past, she’d spent wonderful moments with Agnes in Arizona and had come to call it her real home over time.
As she turned from the window, she noticed something on the carpet. Frowning, Dana padded to the end of the bed and picked it up. It was a blue-gray feather—a