Yuletide Cowboys. Arlene James
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such intimate details of his life with her, except that he needed to unburden himself and she’d been a solid rock for him during his turbulent teenage years. Until today he hadn’t told a single soul about his conversation with his mother, not even his best friend, Tessa, who worked as the girls’ counselor at Redemption Ranch. He was proud of the work he’d done at Redemption Ranch, but being the counselor—the one who helped others through their problems—sometimes made him feel as if he wasn’t allowed to have problems of his own. Everyone expected him to have the answers and to be the strong one. And at times—times such as now—he just didn’t know how.
Somehow it felt right to unload his anxieties to Sarah. He’d depended on her in high school and he trusted her now. How well he remembered graduation day. Sarah had stood by him as he’d waited in vain for his mother to appear, hoped beyond hope that that would be the day she would change and realize the importance of family. Sarah had held his hand while he’d wept wounded tears.
“She says she’s sober.” He scoffed and shook his head. “She wants to meet up with me first and then eventually with Matt. Maybe try to repair some of what’s been broken.”
“How do you feel about that?”
He grunted. “I don’t know. Most of the time I’m too angry to even consider the possibility, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder. No matter what she’s done, she’s still my mother.”
Sarah absently brushed her hand across his shoulder. “She’s put you between a rock and a hard place, that’s for sure.”
“Right? And somehow I have to figure out what’s best for the whole family. I have to find a way to let Matt and Grandma Sheryl know that she wants to be a part of our lives. Matt’s going to be furious. I just hope he doesn’t take it out on me.”
“Can you find it in your heart to forgive her, do you think? Allow her to be a part of your life, even if your brother wants nothing to do with her?”
He blew out a breath and winced. That was the question he’d been asking himself for a week, and he wasn’t any closer to an answer now than he had been back then. “I don’t know, Sarah. I honestly don’t know.”
* * *
Sarah’s heart went out to Marcus. His mother had really done a number on him. She’d let her family down in the worst possible way, abandoning them and walking away without looking back. She was an alcoholic, which explained her actions but didn’t absolve them.
She could see the pain in Marcus’s eyes and felt it as if it were her own. His mother’s sudden return to his life was ripping his heart out. She wasn’t the least bit surprised that the woman had approached Marcus and not his bad-boy brother, Matt. Marcus was tenderhearted. He always tried to do the right thing—but what the right thing was in this situation was difficult to call.
Sarah’s first impulse was to suggest he toss his mom out on her ear should she dare to show up in person. She didn’t deserve any better than that, and it would spare Marcus from any additional pain she might cause. But that wasn’t Marcus’s way.
“What are you going to do?” she asked, sweeping her hand over the tense muscles of his shoulders and coming to land on his arm. His biceps tightened. Time had certainly worked in his favor in that regard. She didn’t remember him being so strong when she’d dated him in high school.
“Honestly? I don’t know. I told her I’d try to broach the subject with Grandma Sheryl and Matt, but I already know they won’t be too keen to hear the news that mom is suddenly ready for us. I highly doubt reconciliation will be on the menu, at least not for a long time to come.”
“Are you planning to meet up with her?”
“No.” He shook his head fervently and then shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. Better I step forward than deny her and have her end up going after Matt. If I see her face-to-face, I’ll know right away if she’s lying about turning her life around. I suppose that’ll give me a better idea about what I should do next.”
Sarah opened her mouth to offer her support and then clamped it shut again. Surely he had many people in his life who would stand up with him during this trial—if not his family, then at least some close friends. He was nothing if not a social being. She was in a bad place in her life right now. She had nothing to offer him. And as for the two of them—
Well, there was no two of them. Not anymore.
She was still debating on what she should say to him when the lights flickered. She groaned.
His gaze widened. “Are we going to—”
He never finished his sentence. The lights flared once, she heard a loud bang and then everything went dark. It was twilight outside and there was still a small measure of gray light pouring in from the windows, but she knew it would be only a matter of minutes before they would be cast into the pitch-blackness of mountain living.
“Electrical outage?” Marcus asked.
She nodded. Onyx darted into the room, clutching her stuffed brown bunny and whimpering. “I heard a scary sound, Mama.”
Before Sarah could say a word, Marcus crossed the room and held out his hands to the little girl. Onyx didn’t hesitate. She climbed right into his arms and clung to his neck.
“It’s okay, little darlin’,” Marcus assured the three-year-old. One side of his mouth crept upward as he met Sarah’s gaze. That crooked grin had always made her heartbeat quicken, and now was no exception. She’d never found him more attractive in her life than in the moment he stepped in to console her child. “We’re going to play a little game right now. It’ll be fun. Do you like flashlights?”
Onyx nodded and Marcus shifted her to one side so he could dig into the front pocket of his jeans. He withdrew his key chain and pressed the button on a tiny silver flashlight, waving the beam toward the wall so Onyx could see the light dance against the shadows.
“Can you be a big girl and hold the flashlight for your mama and me while we gather some supplies together? It’ll be just like camping out. Do you like to camp?”
Onyx squealed in delight as Marcus handed her the flashlight and showed her how to use it. For not the first time that day, Sarah’s eyes burned with unshed tears. During the summertime, Justin had often taken the family fishing and hiking. They were some of Sarah’s fondest memories, although she doubted Onyx was old enough to recall such outings.
“Do you have a backup generator?” he asked, directing the question to Sarah. “How long do you think it will be before the electrical company can get the power back up?”
“We had a generator when the farm was doing well. After Justin passed away, I had to sell it.”
He studied her, his golden eyebrows lowering.
She tipped her chin and squared her shoulders. She knew he’d picked up on what she’d said—or rather, hadn’t said—about the debts she owed, but she refused to let him pity her.
“I’m not sure about the power company,” she continued. “It might take a while. It sounded like something major blew up just before the lights went out. A transformer, maybe? Once a couple of years ago I remember when a drunk driver rammed his truck into a transformer near the farm. We were without power for a week. I had to do all my cooking in the fireplace.
“We ate a lot of hot dogs that week.” She chuckled. “But that was in the middle of the summer, so it wasn’t quite so bad, temperature-wise. A little stuffy in the daytime, but it still got chilly at night. But now we’re stranded in a snowstorm.”
He nodded in agreement. “It’s going to get cold in here.”
Freezing cold, like an icebox. And fast. She focused on her breathing, refusing to give in to the panic rising in her chest. “I guess the first order of business is going to be lighting a fire in the hearth. Marcus, if you wouldn’t mind gathering an armful of logs, I’ll pull together some old