The Cowboy's Twin Surprise. Stephanie Dees
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sure which. Not sure it matters, really. It’s easy for me to say now that I’d have come if I’d known, but the truth is, I probably wouldn’t have.”
“You should cut yourself a little slack, Devin. You love your brother. You love this ranch. That hasn’t changed.”
“Not as much as I should have. I’m not selling myself short, but I have to be honest with myself. It’s one of the pillars of recovery. Hi, my name’s Devin and I’m an addict.”
Hearing him say it so matter-of-factly was shocking. She’d known that he had the tendency to indulge a little too much and party a little too hard, but she hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten until she’d seen the difference in him today.
He stopped by the fence to the pasture and whistled. Reggie lifted his head from the grass but he didn’t move. Devin leaned his cane on the wood rail, dug a couple of carrot pieces out of his pocket and held them out. Reggie’s nostrils flared and he took a few hesitant steps toward Devin and stalled, giving his owner the side-eye.
Lacey smothered a smile. Devin’s horse seemed almost as mad at him as she was. She clicked her tongue. “C’mere, Reggie.”
The big horse ambled to the fence and nudged Lacey’s hand so she would scratch behind his ears. She obliged, murmuring to him that he was a good boy.
After getting his scratch from Lacey, Reggie gently nuzzled the carrot pieces from Devin’s hand before shoving his nose into Devin’s hair.
Devin laughed, his eyes lighting as he ran a hand down Reggie’s neck. “I missed you, you crazy horse.”
Lacey looked away. She wanted to remember the Devin who left her alone in a hotel room in Vegas. To remember the anger that fueled her as she drove from Oklahoma to Alabama. She couldn’t afford to get distracted.
She came here to get him to sign divorce papers. And that was exactly what she was going to do.
* * *
Devin glanced at Lacey, who was leaning on the fence, her chin on her arms.
“I’m so sorry, Lacey.” The words were out before Devin knew he was going to say them.
Her eyebrows shot to her hairline. “For what, exactly?”
“There are so many things to apologize for, I’m not sure where to start. But I think I should start with not taking responsibility that morning in Vegas. And not having enough guts to apologize face-to-face and depending on my horse to get the job done.”
“Is that what leaving Reggie with me was about? An apology?”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.” His face went warm and he turned his head away from her too-knowing eyes, focusing on some trees in the distance. The tops were blowing in the late-afternoon breeze, the leaves flipping to reveal the silver underside.
A storm was coming, which seemed a fitting metaphor for the changes raining down on him if Lacey’s babies were his. “I didn’t know what to say to you. That morning, all I could think was that I’d finally done it. I’d done the thing that would finally drive you away, too.”
“You mean, telling me you’d loved me for years and you wanted to marry me, so much that you couldn’t wait another day?” There was an edge of bitterness to her tone, and he didn’t blame her.
Because he felt like a total jerk, he pulled his ninety-day chip from the pocket of his jeans and held it in his fist, so he could remember that who he was now was not who he was then. He was a person who owned up to his responsibility. He was a person who found his strength in a higher power.
He was a person who told the truth, no matter how hard it was. “I was high that whole weekend. I don’t have any memory of getting married. I don’t remember anything about the weekend until I woke up in the bed and you were there.”
Angry tears glittered on the edge of her lashes. “It was all a lie?”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “That morning—I was ashamed, knowing I’d done something so huge and couldn’t remember. I let you down. There’s nothing I can say to make that better.”
When she looked back at him, her dark eyes were inscrutable. “I want a divorce. I mean it, Devin.”
He let the words hang in the air for a minute. They shouldn’t hurt, but somehow that didn’t stop the sting. “I’d do just about anything for you, Lace, but I need some time to think about it.”
“Why?” He could hear the exasperation in her voice as she paced away from him down the fence line. “You said yourself you don’t even remember getting married. You sure don’t remember why.”
Devin had hoped she would tell him about her pregnancy, tell him about the babies, but since she didn’t, he would have to press the point. It was too important not to. “I have two very good reasons to take my time making a decision about it.”
She whirled around. “What do you mean?”
His fist was clenched so tightly around his NA coin, he could feel it slicing into his skin. “I saw the ultrasound photo. I know about the babies.”
“I see.” Anger sparked in Lacey’s eyes. “So, what, you think that gives you the right to dictate what I do?”
He walked closer to her and reached for her hand. She snatched it back. He sighed. “I think we don’t have to figure everything out today.”
She visibly took a deep breath. “I came here to tell you about them. To tell you that I’m prepared to raise them on my own. You made it pretty clear when you disappeared that you weren’t interested in a long-term relationship.”
One of the tenets of recovery was that you didn’t make any huge life changes in the first year. In the space of one afternoon, he’d blown that to smithereens. “Give me a chance, Lace, please?”
Lacey rubbed her forehead. “Look, when I get checked into a hotel, I’ll text you my contact info and maybe we can talk tomorrow.”
“The nearest hotel is forty minutes away.” Devin paused. “But we have plenty of room, if you want to stay. Tanner and I sleep upstairs. You can have the master bedroom downstairs.”
Lacey hesitated, hanging back as Devin started for the house. When he turned back to look for her, she sighed. “Fine. I’ll stay, but just until we get things figured out.”
He grinned and she held up a hand. “To be clear, my staying doesn’t change things. I’m still mad and I still want a divorce.”
At least she was talking to him, so that was something, right? Devin spread his free hand wide. “I hear you.”
He hadn’t let himself think about what it meant yet, that they had babies on the way, and he knew they had a lot of talking to do. But he wasn’t walking away. He’d done that and it hadn’t gone so well.
This time, he was sticking around, no matter what that meant.
Devin disappeared after he showed Lacey to her room, leaving her to look around the tidy space. She’d stuck to her guns with Devin but she wished she felt steadier, more sure she was doing the right thing.
When she’d been driving out here, she’d been fueled by so much anger that she didn’t have space for questions. Now she’d seen Devin. All the feelings she’d had for him were trying to crowd out the anger, and she couldn’t have that. Anger could be the only thing that was keeping her from falling apart.
She needed to remember he’d left her.
Maybe he’d gone to rehab, but he’d been out for months and hadn’t bothered to get in touch with her. Not even a text.
She