The Best Of The Year - Medical Romance. Carol Marinelli
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‘It doesn’t make you feel jealous when I talk about him?’ Candy checked.
‘I don’t know how it makes me feel,’ he admitted, touched that even with all that was going on in her world she could be concerned in that way for him. ‘But that’s my stuff to deal with. Right now you’ve got enough of your own.’
‘Oh, I do!’
‘You know there is one teeny positive,’ Steele said.
‘Tell me.’
‘Well, there was one thing about you that was starting to get on my nerves, a potential deal-breaker, in fact,’ Steele said. ‘Confirmed bachelors are very picky and selfish, you understand …’
Candy smiled. ‘Tell me.’
‘Your ability to fall asleep. God, I knew you were tired, we both were, but I was starting to wonder if you had narcolepsy or something.’
She laughed but it changed in the middle and she fought from letting out a sob because he’d just reminded her how very good it had been between them.
‘Candy …’ He took her hand but she pulled hers away.
‘Please, don’t, Steele,’ she said. They had always been honest and she was never more so than now. ‘Please, don’t confuse me now. I miss you very much. I think we both know that it was turning into a bit more than a fling. I think we both know that feelings were starting to run deep.’ Which was milder than the complete truth but now was not the time to admit to love. She pointed out the impossibility of it.
‘You like the single life.’
‘I did,’ he said, ‘but I very much liked being with you.’
‘You’ve geared your life around not having children.’
‘I have,’ he said.
‘You start your dream job in a couple of weeks.’
‘I do.’
‘And I’m pregnant with another man’s babies.’
It dawned on him then that he had only ever known Candy pregnant. That, really, nothing had changed between them, except that they both now knew and he told her so.
‘Candy, since the moment we met you’ve been pregnant with another man’s babies. I think we—’
‘Steele,’ she interrupted. ‘I have to work a few things out myself. I’ve been raised to share everything, to discuss every decision. I don’t want to do that now. I want to think. I want to know that I can do this on my own. I have to know that I can do this on my own …’
‘I get that.’
‘And please don’t pretend this isn’t difficult for you.’
He thought back to that morning, sitting on the edge of the bath and crying in a way he never had before, but he felt better for it, clearer for it. He looked at Candy and knew she was right. She didn’t need his thoughts now. She needed her holiday, she needed space, she needed to get used to the idea that she was going to be a mother.
‘I need to go,’ she said. She was on the edge of tears—just one touch of his hand and she wanted more, she wanted his arms, she wanted the comfort of him. She felt as if she had just got off a merry-go-round as they stepped outside. She had felt like that since the news about Gerry’s death had hit, since she’d sat in Anton’s office, since …
The world seemed to be spinning too fast of late, and Candy took a big breath and tried to steady herself, but big breaths seemed to be working less and less these days. Steele must have seen she was struggling. He wrapped her in his arms, as he had wanted to yesterday but hadn’t known how. The shield of him, the feel of him, the tender strength of him brought the first glimpse of peace she had craved, just a tiny glimpse of tranquillity as solo she halted navigated stormy seas.
‘You’re going to be okay,’ he said, and his voice was like the deep bass of a guitar coming up through the floorboards, a rhythm she recognised and understood, and she clung to the delicious familiarity of him and wished it could last. ‘I know it’s going to be hard, telling your parents, but when you do just remind them that this is their grandchildren they are discussing and that in few months they’ll be here …’
‘Right now I’m actually not worried about them,’ she said. Right now she was wondering how she might ever get over this broken heart, but she daren’t be that honest and so, for the first time, she lied to him. ‘Right now I’m worried about stretch marks and my boobs reaching the moon and getting fatter …’ And losing you. ‘I’m going to go.’
Still he held her. ‘I’ll drive you home.’
Still she clung to him. ‘I don’t want you to.’
‘I can drop off your case.’
She hated that he had it in his car.
Steele hated that it was in his car too. He wanted it in his apartment unpacked, he wanted her in his bed, yet he was terribly aware that he must not push her, not confuse her when she was already in such turmoil.
Maybe there was something he could do.
‘Do you fancy a day pass?’ he said to her ear.
‘A day pass?’
‘I’m going to Kent tomorrow to look at the new unit and also to look at a few houses that I’m thinking of buying …’
‘You’re buying a house?
‘I always buy houses or flats wherever I work and I renovate them in my spare time and sell them or rent them out.’
‘I’m working in Emergency tomorrow.’
‘Oh, if anyone deserves to ring in sick, I think it might be you. Why don’t we just have a nice drive, a lazy day …?’
‘And no talk about pregnancy.’
‘You don’t have to pretend you’re not pregnant, Candy.’
‘I want a day away from it,’ she admitted. ‘I just want a whole day when I don’t even have to think about it.’
‘Then that’s the day you shall have,’ he said, and saw her to the Underground. ‘I’ll pick you up at eight.’
Candy sat on the tube, looking at all the people, and she saw an elderly woman look at her stomach and then her hand. She glanced up and saw that Candy had seen her and the old lady gave her a very nice smile.
Yes, times had changed.
She didn’t feel quite so alone now.
It really was time to deal with what was.
Instead of heading home, she went to her parents’.
They were still sulking about Hawaii.
‘Do you remember Gerry, who I work with?’ Candy said. ‘The one who helped me when I moved?’
‘What about him?’ Her father frowned. ‘Is he going to Hawaii with you?’
‘He died last week,’ Candy said.
There were all the How terribles and Candy took a deep breath. She knew there was no easy way to say it.
It just needed to be said.
‘I’ve just found out that I’m pregnant with twins,’ Candy said. ‘They’re his.’
There were sobs and wails from her parents; her mother actually fell to the floor. As if that was going to change anything!
She had never understood Steele more than she did then. She understood fully how his love for Annie might have died as she watched her parents carry on.
This was about her, this was the hardest part of her life to date, and yet they made it