The Baby They Longed For. Marion Lennox
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ONE
HAPPY IS THE bride the sun shines on.
Happier still was the bride’s mother.
Addie’s mum had been beaming ever since she’d read the weather forecast. Actually, she’d been beaming from the moment Addie and Gavin had announced their engagement.
Dr Adeline Blair should be beaming, too, but right now she was struggling. In truth, Addie seemed so far away from her normal, workaday self it was like she’d moved into another body.
She didn’t belong...here?
Why? Surely everything was perfect. She was about to marry her childhood sweetheart. She was making her mother gloriously happy. With luck, she and Gavin might even have a baby before...
Don’t go there. Not today.
She glanced sideways at her mum, sitting beside her in the bridal limousine. Cancer. Metastases. Maeve seemed well today, but tomorrow...
No.
‘This is the happiest day of my life,’ Maeve breathed, and Addie hugged her—which, considering the amount of tulle she was wearing, plus the weight of her over-the-top veil, took some doing.
The car pulled to a stop. The church looked picture-postcard perfect. An arch of roses framed the entrance. Guests were presumably tucked up inside, waiting for the arrival of the bride. A photographer stood ready.
Addie had no extra attendants, no bridesmaids. Her mother was being bridal attendant as well as giving her away, an all-in-one package.
In some ways, it was almost her mother’s wedding.
‘Oh, Addie.’ As the chauffeur opened the car doors, her mother’s eyes were like stars. ‘I can’t believe this is happening.’
And Addie finally relaxed. Her mother was happy. Gavin was waiting. She knew she loved him—she always had. The reservations that had prevented this happening years ago were surely dumb.
This was as good as she could make it.
But then...
She lifted the load of tulle from around her ankles, swung herself out of the car—and straight into Noah McPherson.
Noah. Surgical consultant at Sydney Central. Gavin’s immediate boss.
Gav’s best man.
Noah was tall, dark and imposing in his beautifully cut dinner suit. He was in his early thirties but his skill and gravitas made him seem older. Addie saw lots of gravitas now.
Why wasn’t he with Gav?
‘What’s...what’s wrong?’ she managed, but she knew almost before she spoke.
‘Gav can’t do it.’
‘Can’t do...what?’
She couldn’t believe this. She was standing in brilliant sunshine, in her fairy-floss dress, and she was asking a question she already knew the answer to. She’d known the answer since she’d seen Noah.
‘Gav says he can’t marry you,’ Noah said, quite gently. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Silence.
There should be bells, Addie thought, almost hysterically. Her mother and Gav’s mother had organised bell-ringers. Addie had paid for them.
Maybe the bells had moved to her head. She felt like it was about to explode.
Gavin was...jilting her? This wasn’t real. It didn’t happen.
It couldn’t happen.
‘I... Did he give you any explanation?’ She was weirdly proud that she’d got the question out without gibbering.
‘He did. But you don’t want to hear it now.’
‘Tell me,’ she commanded.
Whoa...
Once upon a time Adeline Blair had had a temper, but not now. She’d had years of living in a house where every outburst would be greeted with, ‘Oh, Addie, what would your father say? You’ll break my heart even more.’ Her mother’s tears had pretty much shoved Addie’s temper into a dark cellar, tethered it with chains and left it to its own devices.
But right now she could feel the chains snapping. ‘Tell me,’ she hissed again, and Noah flinched.
‘Addie, we can do this later. We can find somewhere private—’
‘I need to know now. Tell me why.’
He took a deep breath and visibly braced. ‘Gav said...all his life he’s been ruled by women. Their grief and their need. And now your mum’s ill... He couldn’t tell you. He didn’t wish you—or your mother or his—any more unhappiness, but he’s decided that he can’t keep on being needed. He wants his own life.’
‘His own life.’
‘That’s what he said.’
‘So he’s decided...’ Temper or not, she was struggling to find her voice. She had to try a couple of times before she succeeded. ‘He decided to wait to tell me until five minutes before he was due to marry me? And then he didn’t even tell me himself?’ She was fighting rising hysteria. Stay calm, she told herself, but herself refused to listen.
‘I guess... Look, would you like me to drive you anywhere?’
‘Go jump,’ she hissed. ‘He didn’t even have the courage to phone?’
‘He thought you’d talk him out of it.’ He considered his words. ‘Or into it. Whatever.’
‘He sees me as what...the enemy?’
‘Maybe you need to see it from his point of view.’ It seemed like Noah was trying to make this whole scenario logical. ‘He says you depend on him. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but he feels like he’s been blackmailed by your mother’s illness. By your need.’
What the... ‘He w-wants to m-marry me,’ she stammered. ‘He’s been asking me almost once a week since I was seven.’
‘Maybe he thought you’d never say yes. I don’t know. All I know is that he’s finally realised that he can’t go through with it. He says he can’t be controlled any more by what he calls...’
‘What he calls what?’ She didn’t recognise herself. She didn’t recognise the anger.
‘Addie...’
‘What d-did he call me?’ Addie stammered.
‘Not only you. I think it’s you, your mum, his mum.’
‘So what did he call...us?’
‘This isn’t helpful.’
‘Say it.’
He sighed—and then he said it. ‘He called you...a monstrous regiment of women.’
Silence.
People were starting to make their way out of the church, wondering what was happening. Rebecca was way out front. Rebecca was Noah’s wife, wheelchair bound and beautiful beyond belief. She was also the source of any vitriolic hospital gossip she could find. Right now her face was alive with speculation. Pleasure?
All their hospital friends were behind her.
Gavin’s mum was with them. Lorna looked appalled.
Her mum was beside her, looking ashen.
‘You’ve been with Gav for the entire morning, listening to this drivel,’ Addie managed at last, struggling to keep her voice from being heard by anyone else. ‘He doesn’t want to be needed? I’ve cared for his mum as well as mine, for as long as I can remember. And now... You work with me and you didn’t even have