Can I Let You Go?. Cathy Glass
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information forms Becky had sent me to make sure I hadn’t missed anything important. As we lived in the same National Health Service area as Faye, after the move she would be able to continue going to the same clinic and hospital she’d already been attending. I made a note to remember to make sure she brought her maternity folder with her, otherwise I’d have to go back for it, as it had to be taken to all her antenatal appointments. I also made a note to remember Snuggles, although I thought Faye wasn’t likely to forget him. I knew from what Becky had told me that Faye had lived with her grandparents since the age of two when her mother had died from liver failure, assumed to be a result of alcoholism. The problems that had led to Faye’s mother drinking herself to death weren’t known, and Faye’s father had never been named. Faye had an uncle (Wilma and Stan’s son) and two adult cousins, but they seldom saw them. The son had done well for himself and had moved out of the area. Satisfied I knew what I needed to, I closed the folder and went to bed.
The following morning Adrian was up before the rest of us, as he was going out for the day with Kirsty. We had breakfast together and I saw him off at the door in my dressing gown, then the girls and I had a leisurely morning. After lunch, at 1.30, we left in the car to collect Faye. Although Faye knew what my family looked like from the photographs, my family had no idea what she looked like, which is often the case when a move is planned and the child has seen the photograph album. As I drove I tried to describe Faye to Paula and Lucy. ‘She’s about five feet two inches tall, softly spoken, with a pleasant, round face and straight hair. She looks and acts much younger than her age, but she appears gentle and kind.’ They already knew Faye had learning difficulties and lived with her grandparents. ‘She might want to hug you,’ I said. ‘She likes hugging.’
It was just as well I’d said this, for Faye answered the door, took one look at me and threw her arms around me in a big hug. ‘I’m coming to stay with you like a holiday,’ she said. She appeared excited by the prospect and I was pleased. She could easily have been upset at having to leave her grandparents.
‘Yes, you are!’ I said, mirroring her excitement. ‘We’re looking forward to having you stay with us. This is Lucy and Paula, my daughters. You remember you saw their photographs? You’ll meet my son Adrian later.’
‘Hello,’ she said, now a little shy. ‘Are you going to be my sisters while I live with you?’
‘Yes, we are,’ Lucy said.
Faye smiled broadly and then threw her arms around Lucy, hugging her, and then Paula. They looked slightly embarrassed, but I could see they were touched by Faye’s easy and open display of affection, and her lack of adult inhibition made their first meeting much easier.
‘Are you packed and ready?’ I asked as we went in. I closed the door.
‘Yes.’
‘Bring them in here!’ Wilma called from the living room.
‘Whoops,’ Faye said, smiling as she realized this was what she was supposed to do.
‘No worries,’ I said.
We followed her into the living room where Wilma was sitting on the sofa exactly as I’d left her three days earlier. Stan was getting to his feet, using his stick for support.
‘These are my daughters, Lucy and Paula,’ I said to them both.
‘Hello,’ Wilma said, running her eyes over them. I wondered if she disapproved of what they were wearing. They were dressed fashionably but tastefully, although very differently to the way she dressed Faye.
‘Nice to meet you, ladies,’ Stan said to the girls, propping himself on his walking stick. They smiled back.
‘And you,’ Paula said politely.
‘Faye is packed, her bags are in her room,’ Wilma said matter-of-factly. ‘We’re seeing her Tuesday? Becky said to check with you first, but she felt Faye should be with you all day tomorrow to settle in.’
‘Yes, Tuesday is fine with me,’ I said. ‘What time?’
‘Becky said between eleven o’clock and three. You’ll come with Faye on the bus to begin with?’
‘Yes, and then I’ll return at three o’clock to bring her home. It’s only one bus – number forty-seven. She’ll soon get used to it.’ I smiled at Faye.
‘After she’s done the journey with you three or four times she should be all right by herself,’ Wilma said.
‘OK.’ Obviously it would have been easier for me to take and collect Faye in my car, but that wouldn’t have helped her independence.
‘Fetch your things then,’ Wilma said to Faye.
‘Shall we come and help?’ Lucy asked, stepping forward.
‘Yes, please,’ I said. ‘And don’t forget Snuggles,’ I called after them.
‘As if she would!’ Stan said indulgently. ‘He’s been sitting on top of her case all morning.’
I smiled. ‘And her maternity folder and mobile phone are packed?’ I asked.
‘Yes, they’re in the case,’ Wilma confirmed.
The girls returned almost immediately from Faye’s bedroom. Lucy was carrying a suitcase, Paula a shoulder bag and Faye Snuggles.
‘Is that everything?’ I asked, surprised.
‘Yes,’ Wilma said. ‘She can always collect some more clothes if she needs to when she visits.’ Which was true. ‘Although she hasn’t got that much that fits her now. She’s been wearing my clothes, but I need them here.’
I guessed money was tight living on state benefits, and Wilma didn’t strike me as the sort of person who would spend money on maternity wear that would only be worn for a few months.
‘I was thinking of taking Faye shopping for some maternity clothes, if that’s all right with you?’ I asked diplomatically. ‘As you know, I receive an allowance while Faye is with me.’
Wilma nodded.
‘That would be good,’ Stan said. ‘We’ve told Faye that staying with you is like going on holiday, so those can be her new holiday clothes.’ Which was a quaint way of putting it.
‘Good. I’ll take her shopping for some new outfits then,’ I said. ‘See you on Tuesday. Would you like Faye to telephone you this evening?’
‘Only if she wants to,’ Stan said. ‘She sees more than enough of us.’
I smiled. ‘But do phone us if you want to chat. You have my phone numbers?’
‘Yes, Becky gave them to us,’ Wilma confirmed.
We all said goodbye, and Wilma stayed where she was on the sofa while Stan came with us.
‘Faye, aren’t you going to kiss me goodbye?’ Wilma called after her.
Faye stopped in the hall, looked at us and chuckled. ‘Oh dear,’ she said, clamping her hand over her mouth. ‘I nearly forgot!’
The girls and I laughed too, while Stan tutted fondly. Faye clearly had a sense of humour and now that she was more relaxed around us it was starting to come out.
‘She’d forget her head if it wasn’t screwed on,’ Stan said affectionately as Faye returned to the living room to kiss her gran goodbye. ‘But she’s a good, kind kid. She wouldn’t hurt a fly. We’re going to miss her.’
‘I’m sure you will,’ I said. ‘But it’s not for long and I’ll look after her.’
‘Thank you,’ he said gratefully. I thought that Stan felt a lot more than he showed.
Faye returned from the living room and hugged her grandpa goodbye. ‘Look after yourself and enjoy your time at Cathy’s,’ he said to her.
‘I’m going on holiday,’ she replied happily.