Midwives On-Call At Christmas. Tina Beckett
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CHAPTER EIGHT
BONNIE RUBBED HER sleep-ridden eyes. She’d had trouble sleeping after last night’s events. Freya had only woken up to go to the toilet and been a little disorientated. Once Bonnie had cuddled her back into bed she’d fallen asleep instantly.
But Bonnie’s head had been spinning. She’d been shocked by Jacob earlier. But she’d also known there had to be a reason behind it. A deep-seated reason. And that was why she’d given him the tiniest bit of leeway.
Now she understood. It didn’t excuse his actions, but she knew exactly how sorry he was—it had been written over every inch of his face. And when he’d shared about his mother she couldn’t help but cry.
Her thoughts immediately went to Freya. She couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to her and Freya being left alone. Who would love her the way she did? Certainly not her father. Something prickled down her spine. If anything ever happened to her, Freya would automatically go to her father. What kind of life would she have with him? The kind of life that Jacob had endured as a child?
Her skin tingled as Jacob entered her thoughts. Who was she kidding? Had she just made the biggest mistake of her life?
Jacob had opened up to her. But there was still so much she didn’t know about him—even though they were living under one roof. Maybe she was just being paranoid. But after living with an unfaithful, feckless husband, she wanted to go into any new relationship with her eyes wide open.
She’d been hurt. Freya had been hurt. She’d no intention of ever going down that road again. Self-preservation was a must. Even if any thought of him made her heart pitter-patter faster.
‘Can we have breakfast, Mummy?’ The little voice cut through her thoughts.
She turned and smiled at her little girl. She was blessed: Freya woke up each day in a good mood. She reached over and gave Bonnie a hug. ‘I like it when you’re in my bed, Mummy.’
She hugged back. ‘I like it too. But it’s only on special occasions. Now, what do you want for breakfast?’
‘Toast and jam.’
‘I think I can do that. Let’s go to the toilet and wash our face and hands first.’
As they reached the top of the stairs she bent down to pick Freya up. It was just instinct—she’d done it most mornings since they’d got there. Freya wasn’t used to stairs and Bonnie was always worried that she’d trip if she was still sleepy.
As she gathered Freya in her arms she realised something was a little off. It took her the first few steps to realise what it was. The red and green garland was wound back around the banister.
A smile started to edge around her lips. She kept walking. Now she could hear, and smell, activity in the kitchen. Someone was cooking bacon and singing while they cooked.
As she reached the bottom of the stairs the twinkling lights from the front room attracted her like a magnet. She walked back into the front room.
Everything was back exactly where it should be. ‘Look, Freya,’ she whispered.
The tree lights were twinkling, the branches redecorated with tinsel and baubles. The nativity scene was back on the side table. The red and green garland for the mantelpiece was back in place. She’d no idea how he’d managed to patch it together—but she didn’t really care.
The fact was, he’d done it.
‘Mummy, our tree’s back up,’ said Freya. A smile had lit up her face. ‘Does Jacob like it now?’
Bonnie nodded slowly. ‘I think he must.’ She couldn’t stop smiling. He’d revealed part of himself last night but now he’d obviously made the decision to try and move on.
The house felt full of warmth. It was so much nicer with the Christmas decorations up; it felt much more like a home, rather than just a house.
She carried Freya through to the kitchen. Jacob was putting a pot of tea on the kitchen table. ‘Oh, you’re up, good.’ His eyes skirted over to Freya; he looked wary. ‘I’ve made breakfast. Sit down.’
Freya stared at the plate of bacon as Bonnie put her in one of the chairs. ‘I don’t want bacon. I want toast and jam.’
Jacob smiled at her. ‘I thought you might say that.’ He produced a toast rack stacked full of toast and a jar of jam.
Bonnie smiled as she sat down. Freya reached over and grabbed a slice of toast. ‘Can you butter this, Mummy?’ Her eyes fixed on Jacob again. ‘I like that the tree’s back. I like the lights.’
A second of hesitation passed over Jacob’s face before he pulled out a chair and sat down next to Freya. ‘I do too. I think it was a good idea to get a tree for the house. Thank you very much. I’m sorry if I seemed angry last night. I was just a little surprised.’
Bonnie held her breath as she handed over the buttered toast to Freya and opened the jar of jam. She wasn’t entirely sure how Freya would respond.
But Freya just shrugged. ‘Can we watch cartoons today?’
It was that simple for a five-year-old. No stomach churning. No fretting. She just accepted what he said and was happy that the tree was back up.
Jacob and Freya continued to chat over breakfast. Today, it seemed, was going to be a quiet day in the house.
Jacob seemed more at ease. Maybe he was just getting used to having people in his house—or maybe talking about his mother last night had helped him a little.
She certainly hoped so.
It was so strange to see Freya chatting away with him. Even when they’d lived with her husband, breakfast had usually been their time together. Robert had rarely appeared at the breakfast table. And last night’s events seemed to have been quickly forgotten.
They laughed together and something twisted inside her. She wasn’t quite sure what it was. Fear? Envy? Confusion?
Jacob seemed comfortable this morning—but was she? She’d kissed him last night. If Freya hadn’t interrupted it might have become a whole lot more. Bonnie didn’t usually act on impulse—not when it came to men. But things with Jacob last night had just seemed so natural. So heated.
It made her want to catch her breath.
This was a new job. A new city. A new life.
Just how much change was she ready for?
* * *
Jacob felt as if he’d been holding his breath since last night. Ever since he’d kissed Bonnie and realised exactly the effect she had on him.
Part of him was sorry. Now he would always know exactly what he was missing. Part of him wasn’t the least bit sorry. It had been a long time since he’d felt a connection to someone. The fact that Bonnie was a mother hadn’t even entered his head.
If you’d asked him a few years ago if he’d ever have a relationship with someone who had children he would have said an overwhelming no. But he’d have been wrong. With the exception of last night, he’d liked being around Freya. It was surprising him—just as much as it was probably surprising Bonnie and Freya.
He’d noticed the way people were looking at him at work. For the last ten days he’d felt differently. He’d felt lighter. This morning he practically felt so light he could float away. The only thing that was still anchoring him to the ground was his test results.
Even if—and he prayed they would be—they were good results, it still wouldn’t change other things for Jacob. The cancer would always lurk in the background, always a possibility of a recurrence. Always that uncertainty of whether it was familial and he could pass it on. Gene mapping wasn’t quite there yet to give him that answer.
But these last few days at home had felt so